Let me first start by saying that Christmas is not about toys. I know, its hard to believe with the glut of commercials we are bombarded with daily informing us of the latest deals, the latest gadgets and toys, and of course, reminding us not to forgot to buy presents for someone. If my wife is reading this, she is probably staring in disbelief as we just had a discussion the other day about toys for our son. I am of the feeling that a few toys here and there, especially on Christmas is OK. For this Christmas, we have come to the conclusion that our son really doesn't need any more toys than he has. But I don't want to focus on our family and our lack of toys for our son. He does have some, but we both feel that buying an excessive amount of toys for him will do absolutely nothing. I guess the only reason I am holding on to the feeling of at least getting him a few toys in coming years is that I really enjoyed getting presents on Christmas, opening them, and playing with them. Yet now I question what that did to me as I look back and to a certain extent long to buy our son toys. I never got everything I wanted, but I usually got a few of my favorite items of my list. Did the amount of presents I received when I was younger distort my vision of what Christmas is really about? Perhaps it did if I think about it now and my feelings on Christmas. Even now, at my current age, I still enjoy getting presents and opening them on Christmas day. Yet isn't Christmas more about giving without expectation of receiving than just about receiving. In this day and age, anyone can go online and read horror stories about children throwing tantrums over not getting exactly what they wanted or even about parents getting into fights over who gets to buy the last toy truck in a store for their child. What have we come to when we choose to spend our money, often times on items that never get used, for people who really don't need anything anyway? There are parents out there who are changing the way Christmas works in their household, but I fear that it isn't nearly enough to make a big difference. My wife and I have been talking about how we want to deal with Christmas in the future with our son and we both had ideas that I think will work quite well moving forward.
The first idea was one that my wife actually heard of from one of her colleagues. That idea is that our son would receive only three presents for Christmas; a book, something he needs, and something he wants. I kind of like that idea, but I heard of one that I think can be built into my wife's idea. I would take hers and add a present on to the "want" section, thus making it four presents that he would receive. Out of the two presents that he "wants", he would have to choose one that would be given to a child in need. This way, perhaps our son will come to realize over the years that it is not only about what you get, but what you are willing to give to others out of what you have. Most of the stuff we have lying around never gets used anyway, so why not have our son make the decision of what he wants more and give the other present away. Perhaps by doing this, we can negate his potential expectation of getting what he wants just because he asked for it. This year, obviously, would not be a good year to start as he is not talking yet and doesn't understand the concept of receiving presents or for that matter giving presents. As for my wife and I, we don't plan on doing much shopping whatsoever. After a while, it gets difficult trying to decide what other people want or could actually use. Outside of books for reading and some odd little trinkets, there is not much we could give that would be worth while. Both of us would much rather have time spent with family than an excessive amount of gifts to unwrap on Christmas morning. (Trust me, there is still a part of me that yearns to have a huge pile of presents, I just know that it is not worth it now.) As for myself, I made the decision a few weeks ago that I would do more to help those in actual need during the Christmas season and once started there, continue the effort throughout the year. So how did I start that? Well, in my travels as a painting contractor, I often times run across a homeless person standing at a busy intersection, holding a cardboard sign stating their situation, often times looking run down, haggard, and in need of some help. Some will scoff at these people saying that they will just take any money given to them and go buy booze. Yet, making that assumption could make that homeless person's life more difficult if they really were going to use that money to buy food for themselves or at least get a hot meal. I used to think that same thought, yet recently have come to realize that regardless of what they use the money for, they obviously need it for something. So last week I went on a mission to find a homeless person, I don't know why, I just did.
I found that person, standing on the median of the entrance to a Stop and Shop (grocery store) in Milford. When I first saw him, I passed right by as I needed to get to an appointment. However, once I was done with my appointment, I went back hoping he would be where I saw him, and sure enough, he was. At first I debated whether I should just give him money or offer to buy him dinner at a local diner down the road. My ultimate decision, at least last week, was to just give him money. So I pulled into the parking lot, turned around, and headed out the exit where he was waiting. As I pulled up, I rolled down my window and motioned for him to come over. Once he got to my van, I handed him a 10 dollar bill. I could have chosen a five or single, but I chose ten because at least he could get a decent meal at a diner or for those skeptics out there, an extra large bottle of cheap booze. He was grateful for the ten and went on to explain that the center that offers food doesn't open unless the temperature drops below a certain point. I don't know if its the truth or not, but frankly I don't care. This gentleman was very appreciative of the gift and thanked me profusely. I consequently pulled away when the light turned green, the man still standing there in his spot hoping for a few more handouts. I felt good, not just because I had given money way, but there seemed to be a sense of peace that came over me. I can't explain it other than to say it felt like I did the right thing at the right time. That, to me, is what Christmas should be about. Imagine if everyone took ten dollars out of the pile that they would normally use on presents for family and instead gave it to someone in need? Well, you get the picture, a big difference would be made in the lives of those who are less fortunate or have fallen on hard times. I am not relating this story simply to improve my image because frankly, I don't care what people think of me or what I do. I related this story to share what I did for a total stranger who looked in need of help. That's all, nothing more, nothing less, except maybe my story will inspire someone else to lend a helping hand either monetarily or physically. Just think about how many people we just pass by every day who are down on their luck and could us any time of help, even if it is just getting a ride to a destination. Maybe we can bring back the true Christmas spirit of giving to others without expectation of anything in return. Its an uphill battle, but maybe, just maybe, its one we can win.
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