So let me be perhaps one of the few men who will say this on Valentine's Day; I did not get my wife anything. That's correct, there are no typo's or incorrect statements there, and I know some may consider it a travesty, but I did not buy my wife anything for Valentine's Day. There, I said it again. I am not trying to sound insensitive, boorish, crass, or anything else that might be attributed to my statement, but I don't believe in buying into the notion that we must pour extreme amounts of money on lavish gifts for our significant others. To be honest, I have never been big on Valentine's Day gifts. There might have been a few times over the entire course of my life that I bought something small for someone, but those were in the days where I actually thought that Valentine's Day meant something other than a reason to spend money. Valentine's Day is nothing more than a Hallmark Tradition, especially in its modern sense. Just think about all the commercials you hear leading up to this day about flowers, chocolates, teddy bears, lingerie, and anything else that can be made pink or red, have a bow placed on it, and have it called a Valentine's Day gift. A good number of commercials are created in such a way that men should feel guilty after listening to them, that is, unless they have already bought something for their significant other. Valentine's Day has turned more into a marketing extravaganza than a holiday where two people are supposed to show their love for one another. Its a means for companies to get a boost for their business in the lull that is February. Its that "in between" holiday, halfway between Christmas/New Years and Easter. Many people, especially Americans, have bought completely into this notion that if we don't buy something for our significant other on Valentine's Day, then we are lacking in some sense, we are not truly invested in our relationship, or perhaps we just don't care about the other person. How much farther from the truth could this actually be? Yet for some, it is reality, and a weak reality at best.
Shouldn't love be shown in more tangible ways than flowers and chocolates? Lets think about it, if love is akin to roses, then in a month love should dwindle and die between two people, just like roses do. Chocolate is even better, we present it to another in hopes of conveying our love for them, yet the result of giving chocolate is that it gets eaten and crapped out, not exactly the best image of love that I can think of. So why do we place such enormous emphasis on these two objects as quintessential signs of Valentine's Day and a true display of our love for someone else? Its all a hoax to get money out of our pockets. OK, so maybe not a complete hoax, but it is close. So why am I on this tirade of anti-Valentine's Day sentiment? To paint a very clear picture, I believe that love should be shown throughout the year and not just on one day. I feel that it means more to buy a woman flowers randomly than on a specific day when she is most likely expecting them. Money has been a little tight lately, but I normally buy my wife flowers every month and have done so since we got married almost 4 years ago now. I never buy her chocolates because she is not a big fan. That is how I show my wife that I love her. I don't focus on one day a year and make it the culminating event to show my love, rather, I try and show her a little every day. I think it means more to do those little things around the house that she wouldn't expect me to do than to spend money on items that won't last. Even the flowers I buy her are not bouquets but rather flowers that can be planted in our yard or kept in our house permanently so that they are a constant reminder of my love for her. Some may say that I have fallen short in my responsibilities by eschewing Valentine's Day and its looming presence in the mind's of all. Ask my wife, she is on board with me and my feelings. If she weren't, I probably wouldn't be married to her as I never bought her anything for Valentine's Day even when we were dating.
To me, Valentine's Day is more a symbol of how love has gone down the tubes in our country than an actual holiday to promote our love. We are taught from an early age in grade school that we should give other's candy and cards on Valentine's Day. Even our son who is in daycare will be doing some sort of art project or similar activity related to Valentine's Day. From before the age of two, our son will have this image of Valentine's Day as a holiday of love stamped into his brain. I will be the first, when he understands more about the world around him, to start undoing that stamp, start scrubbing it out of his brain, and instill in him what love truly is, an emotion that should be displayed every day, regardless of the day. If you are truly in love with someone, or care about them, don't wait till Valentine's Day to show it. Make it a part of you every day life, something that you commit to doing on a daily basis. There are those out there that will always buy into the notion of Valentine's Day and put all their emphasis and money on that day. However, I will not be one of those, my wife will not be one of those, and I sure hope our son will not be one of those. If he does turn out to love Valentine's Day and all its marketing grandeur, then so be it, I just hope that he can see through the facade of marketing and the Hallmark Tradition to the hoax that Valentine's Day really is. Now that I have made my feelings known about Valentine's Day, what are your feelings on it? Did you go out and buy flowers and chocolates for your significant other? Or do you instead choose to show your love every day to that person?
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