This past weekend proved to be a test of patience for me. I mentioned a while ago that I am finding out, through the process of being a father, just how much patience I have. I feel that for the most part, I do have a lot of patience compared to what I used to have. Yet, I am currently having my patience tested by our son who is now in the mode of throwing temper tantrums. We are starting to set the rules in our house as he is getting the age where he thinks he can do whatever he wants without consequence. Well, that is quickly being changed. I must say, for the most part our son is awesome, well behaved, and a joy to have around. There comes a time, however, usually after his nap in the afternoon and before dinner, what I like to call the two hour witching period. This is when his ego takes hold, he tries pushing boundaries, and when those boundaries come crashing down, his temper flares and all hell breaks loose. So a little hyperbole there with all hell breaking loose, however, I can envision how bad it could get if we just let him continue on his little rampage. I hate to burst everyone's bubble image of my son being wonderful with this news of temper tantrums, but I think that most parents would expect that from a two year old, especially since they have probably gone through it themselves. These temper tantrums usually start over something innocent and stupid that he is doing, that either endangers himself, others, or objects in our house. There is the occasion where he goes a little beyond what we allow him to do, but for now it is usually because something could get broken or he could seriously hurt himself. I forget what it was on Saturday that sparked his little temper tantrum, but it was probably us taking something away from him or telling him he couldn't do something. As soon as we told him that, he got this really ticked off look on his face, walked up to my wife who was sitting, stood in front of her, looked up, and took both hands and hit her on the legs. The odd part is, I was the one who took something away from him or stopped him from doing something. Regardless, I wasn't about to let him get the idea that he could just walk up to my wife and hit her or anything else for that matter. So I grabbed him gently, sat him in my lap, and wrapped my arms around him. He then proceeded to scream his head off, wriggle, shake, and attempt every way possible to get out of my grip. He started kicking since he couldn't move his arms and at one point, I held him under his arm pits, suspended off the ground, while he turned beet red screaming his head off. After about five minutes of that and me calmly telling him how we don't lash out when we get frustrated or angry, he tired himself out, actually looked at me while I was talking to him, and calmed down. As soon as I let go of him it was like the temper tantrum didn't even happen.
I thought I would be all set for the weekend with temper tantrums. Lo and behold, I was not. Instead, I had the pleasure of dealing with another one yesterday, although not nearly as severe as the one on Saturday. So a little back story to this tantrum yesterday. Our son loves to pretend to cook on our stove and as such, we let him use real utensils, real pans, and everything. One of the things he loves is the small measuring spoons. Yesterday afternoon, as we were in the kitchen getting dinner ready, our son slides his stool over to the cabinets, climbs up, and grabs a small measuring spoon from the counter. He runs off with it into the living room. I normally wouldn't have a problem with him playing with the spoon except he had it in his mouth and was running from one couch to the other with it hanging out of his mouth. I asked him three times to take it out of his mouth because he could get seriously hurt by doing it. After three times of him not listening, I went over and took the spoon from him. Well, that was the last straw for him. I saw the look in his eye, the drastic change in his demeanor, and he went to grab a pillow and throw it. I told him before I left the room that if he threw the pillow, he would be going into time out. I will give you a wild guess now as to what happened. Yep, he threw the pillow, probably thinking that I was joking about the whole time out thing. So I went over, picked him up, brought him into the kitchen where we sat down, him in my lap, and wrapped my arms around him in time out. I explained that we were now setting time limits as a measure of the time out, explained what the time out was (as we really didn't have to do that before), and why he can't just lash out when he can't do what he wants. He freaked out for a few minutes, but calmed down much quicker than he did the day before. There was one point where he freaked out and added two minutes to his time out, but during those last two minutes he calmed down and relaxed on my lap. By the time the two minutes were up, he was totally calm and back to normal. Maybe the time outs are working their magic quicker than we expected, but then again, maybe not. I have a horrible feeling that the worst is yet to come. Judging from the tempers that my wife and I used to have when we were younger, our son is going to be a challenge in the years to come and I am going to have to grow some patience on a tree for harvesting when necessary. Oh well, he is still a joy to have around and I love him completely. Now it will just be a matter of setting rules and enforcing them judiciously and fairly. I hate rules so this should be interesting!
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