My grandfather's (Dziadziu's) funeral was on Saturday. It was a long, emotionally draining, beautiful day. It was nice to see all the family and friends who came to pay their respects and it was good to catch up with many family members who it seems we only see at weddings and funerals. When family disperses, that's how it goes sometimes. Regardless of how infrequently we see our extended family, its nice to know they still support us as we would support them in both good times and sad. I was a wreck on Saturday, but I expected to be after spending so much time with Dziadziu. It was a blessing to me to be able to help them more when they got older, especially when they moved closer to my parent's house. Not everyone gets the opportunity to be close to their grandparents and I am lucky that I had that great opportunity. As a friend shared with me online, "A grandfather holds his grand children's hands for a while, he holds their hearts forever." I believe that to be true and felt it to be true at the cemetery on Saturday. Being a veteran of World War II, Dziadziu received a military burial. It was one of the most beautiful ceremony's I have witnessed. There were no guns being fired off, just a lone bugler playing taps in the quiet of a cemetery. And then the flag, being expertly folded, end over end, tucked tight into a triangle, and handed to my grandmother (Babci) by a young military man. Simple, reverent, final. It was a beautiful day and despite the many tears that flowed, it was good to say goodbye one more time.
The night before the funeral, my wife and I went over a friend's house to hang out for a bit, sit by a fire, and have a few beers. After sitting there for a while, he offered his condolences after seeing my post on Facebook earlier. He asked about Dziadziu a bit and then asked a question that got me thinking. It was, "have you ever thought about what your grandfather was doing when he was your age?" I had never put Dziadziu's life into perspective like that. As a grandson, it seems we always perceive our grandparents as always being older. Most people, I would imagine, never or rarely look at their grandparents as people who could have lead different lives when they were younger. I think its more an issue of the frame of reference we come to know them in. While we hear stories of their younger days, and see pictures of them, we never take that moment to picture them in a different milieu. So, sitting there on Friday night, I started thinking. Doing that math, Dziadziu was born in 1924, in the height of the Great Depression. I heard the stories about how he grew up with next to nothing, on a farm, and how he went to war when he was old enough. He didn't get married until he was 27, after he got back from Europe, and as it turns out, that was a little after I was married. It was unusual for that time to be married so late, but being in the war, there was no other option. My dad was born a year later, and by the time Dziadziu was 32, my dad was 4 years old, almost the same timeline that I am on with our son who is three and a half. So when Dziadziu was my age, 32, he was raising a little hellion like all little Polish boys are. As to what else he was doing at that time, I don't really know, but it definitely makes me want to find out. I know he worked at Pratt and Whitney for a long time and he also owned his own welding business, I just don't know which came first or if they overlapped or how it all worked. The question that got me thinking of that was definitely thought provoking and necessary.
So what to do now that the funeral is over. Well, get back to living with Dziadziu taking his place with the rest of my family that has passed. They are both in Heaven and my heart. He was the only grandfather I got to know in my life. My other one, my mom's dad, passed away young when my mom was only 14. I have pictures of him, and I know that him and Dziadziu are getting to know each other now. So for now, its good bye, but we will all meet again. The sadness will fade, but the knowledge that they are watching over our family sits deep within my heart. I am blessed to have the family that I have and know that they will always be there for me as I will be there for them. So looking forward, its on to happier times, watching over Babci, and keeping a smile on my face and a joke on my lips. Thank you again to all my friends and family for their kind and thoughtful words over this past week.
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