Here's to the Complainers

Has anyone else ever noticed that people like to complain a lot?  To me, it seems that  not a day go by where I am not subjected to at least one person's complaints about life, work, or something.  I know it seems to be a general issue amongst people, but I have noticed in particular that contractor's, regardless of what trade they work in, seem to complain the most.  Now I may be biased as I have a disproportionately high interaction rate with other contractor's, but I still think they win out with the most complaining.  (To be fair, I complain sometimes as well)  Is it the type of work or something else entirely?  Personally, I think that the type of work has something to do with it as most contractor's are limited in the amount of human interaction they get during the day.     They may be working with a few other people, but for the most part, their day is carried out in relative isolation.  If they don't like who they are working with, it makes it even worse as they have no one to complain to during the day.  Feelings get pent up and aren't released till they see a relative or friend at the end of the day.   From the stories I hear, nothing in a contractor's life goes well; from the clients, to the boss, to the actual work.  Sometimes, I actually find it quite humorous to listen to other's complaints about work, especially coming from a contractor as I work in the field.  Most of the complaints they have can only be blamed upon themselves, sometimes the client, but mostly themselves.   Even better, most of the complaints they have can usually be easily resolved despite their reticence in doing so. 

Amongst all my friends, two are contractor's that I work with fairly regularly.  These two are also the one's I hear the most complaints from, probably due the to the fact that I talk to them more often than others.  Not a day goes by with either of these two men without a complaint.  With one friend, its complaints about customer's and their weird schedules or simply about the customer's themselves.  In fact, I was just privy to a complaint of his last night.   In short, he subbed some work out to me and trying to coordinate schedules with the lady has not gone so well.  The problem arises as her teenage daughter's don't like being alone with a stranger in the house.  That being said, she must be home when work is being done inside the house.  I understand and simply go about my usual day waiting for our schedules to coincide.  My friend on the other hand is being driven to the brink of insanity by this as he wants to be done with the job.  Funny how twisting one's perspective on a situation changes it from "life" to doom and gloom.   The other contractor friend of mine loves to complain about his "business partner".  (Its in quotes because it doesn't really seem like a partnership to me)  Every day, (if I talked to him every day) his bp does something to tick him off.  In short, it seems like his bp doesn't really know how to run a business and the amount of time my friend is working versus the amount of time he is not seems to be about equal.  I keep telling him to quit his bp and go out on his own, yet it seems like he loves to complain so much he will just keep on working for this guy.  But such is life, no matter what we do, something is bound to go wrong and offer us the opportunity to complain about something. 

I personally find that every complaint can usually be solved by changing one's perspective on a given situation and looking at it from a different point of view.  If that doesn't work, move on.  To me, complaining does not solve anything, it merely perpetuates feelings of resentment, frustration, or disappointment.  I do not find it worthy of my time to dwell on things that will make me miserable and cause me to complain.  Obviously there are times when I succumb and complain anyway, but I try and keep those to a minimum.  Complaining will never solve an issue, only make it seem worse and drawn out.  The only way to actually resolve an issue is through action and if we keep on yapping, nothing will get done.  Maybe my friends and other contractor's out there will figure it out one day, and then again, maybe they won't.  In any case, there complaints are occasionally humorous because they are so stupid and they give me something to laugh about.  Today, I have no complaints yet and probably won't.  I prefer to take care of issues rather than perpetuate them through complaining.  But that is me and I wouldn't have as many stories to share if my friend's didn't complain.  So as much as I would like my friends and others to figure out how not to complain so much, there is a part of me that loves to listen to it and get a glimpse into the "horrible" lives they live. 

Who Has Regrets?

I don't think that there is anyone out there who has not regretted something, big or small, at some point in their life.  I myself am not exempt from regrets, however in general, I think they are a waste of time.  To regret something is to feel bad about something that happened in the past, either something said or some action taken, or on the flip side, something not said or some action not taken.  Regrets come in many forms, sizes, and shapes and they have an uncanny way of affecting us all differently.  There are those out there who will focus solely on the past and search for ways that things could have gone differently, regretting many actions and words and not really growing from them.  Conversely, there are those who do not wish to look at the past at all and instead focus on the present or future.  I would like to think that I fall into the latter group, not really looking at the past except as a reference point for how I got to where I am today.  There is nothing that any of us can do to change the past.  In that sense, regrets or futile and do nothing to help us continue down the path of life.  Regrets in that sense serve only as an anchor to hold us down and keep us from reaching our full potential.  By allowing regrets to gain traction within us, we are really saying that we are not happy with where we are today and wish things could be different.  Well, in the overall scheme of things, I have no regrets.  I may have small regrets creep in from time to time in regards to certain things I said or did, but they don't linger long as I know I can't change them, I can only change myself moving forward.

So why am I talking about regrets today?  Well, I have been doing a lot of thinking lately in terms of where I am, where I came from, and where I am going.  To be honest, a lot of it stems from the fact that I have an almost 9 month old son and my thoughts now as a father have been drifting back to my earlier life before my son came into this world.  This may sound a little weird, but I almost feel as if my life to a certain extent has been validated by the fact that I have an amazing, healthy, happy son.   Don't worry, I will explain.  In order for my son to be here right now, my life leading up to this point could not have taken a different course.  Everything that I did, up until I had my son, held a purpose for me.  I may not have known, and still not know, why certain things happened or why I followed certain paths, but they all held a given purpose.  If I had done anything differently, I would not be where I am today.  I am not going to go into a litany of things I did or didn't do, but let me suffice it to say that if I were to regret anything major I did up until this point, I would in part be regretting that I have my son.  (I still have small regrets here and there, but they are few and far between and hold little sway in the overall course of events).  Even if I look at the times that I screwed up or ventured down the wrong path, I see them now as opportunities for growth, not as blemishes on my record of life.   Its amazing sometimes to look back, see where I was ten years ago and then put it into relation to where I am today.   I still may not understand why everything happened the way it did, but there is one thing I am certain of, I regret none of it. 

Some people say getting older sucks.  Well, I hope I never hit that point because life now has never seemed so rich and full.  Part of what makes life seem that way to me now is seeing what has gone into building me as a person, all my actions and reactions, my thoughts and words.  I know my body will slow down, start to deteriorate, but what I have inside will keep on building and growing so long as I don't get complacent or harbor any major regrets.   Yet again, I have stumbled upon one more thing I want to teach my son; to always keep his eyes forward, never regret anything, and keep on growing.  This may not be the simplest thing to teach someone else, but as they say, "actions speak louder than words" and this just may be one of those things that is best taught by example with only minor explanation.  I hope that by showing my son how I live my life, he will learn to live his similarly.  I can not, or for that matter will not, hope that he follows me exactly, for that would be a disservice to him and his life.  If he can learn to forge his own path, live in the present, and always look forward, then I will be happy and content.  Even if he doesn't, it won't change my feelings towards him and how I treat him.   With so many people regretting so much about their lives, I hope I can show my son how to live differently.  I hope I can show my son to be himself, to live by his own moral code, and to follow his inner voice.  By following his inner voice, he may get led astray sometimes, but in the end, he will be happy and successful with few regrets (hopefully)!

Vermont Weekend Over

How come it seems that when you go away for a weekend, a mini vacation if you will, it all ends way too quickly?  I know the short answer; its only a weekend so of course it will fly by.  Perhaps it is also because we get into relaxation mode so swiftly and deeply that we don't want to pull ourselves out and return to our regular lives.  I know I didn't after this weekend.  Even the setup and breakdown of all our camping supplies doesn't detract too much from our relaxation as we have it all down to a science.  We know what happens when we pull up without even talking about it and we just get to work.  It usually only takes about an hour or two to set everything up and then a little longer on the flipside to break everything down.  That should leave plenty of time in between to relax and enjoy ourselves.  Yet that time never seems like enough, we could always stay an extra day or two in the relative peace and quiet that is our Vermont campsite.  There is minor work to do like splitting wood, trimming the grass, going for short hikes, but all that work is different than it is at home.  I still have wood to split at home, I have grass to trim and cut at home, and the hikes wait for me at home as well.  I guess the biggest difference comes with the frame of mind I have at home versus camping when I am doing these things that makes all the difference.  At home, it mostly seems like a chore (except hiking).  In Vermont, its more enjoyable for some reason.  But whatever reason I can come up with here, it won't change the fact that our time in Vermont passes way to quickly and I wish I was back there already. 

This past weekend up in Vermont was absolutely beautiful.  There was hardly a cloud in the sky, the temperature peaked in the mid 80's, and the humidity wasn't that bad either.  Looking at the weather before we left for Vermont, I am glad we chose this weekend to head up there as temps in Connecticut were much higher with what I am sure must have been stifling humidity.  Once again, our son absolutely loved his time in Vermont, although this time sleeping was an issue on Friday night.  Unlike his first camping trip where we arrived around his bedtime and were inexperienced at putting our son to bed in the woods, this time we arrived early and had no trouble getting him to bed.  That however, was the end of our good times for the night.  It wasn't the whole nigh;, in fact he did fine until about 10:00 when he woke up and started screaming.  We finally got him back to bed after about 15 minutes and hoped that it would be the last time he would do that.  It wasn't however.  He woke again screaming close to midnight and managed to fall back asleep by himself rather quickly.  Then at about 3 in the morning, you would have thought that the world was coming to an end.  Our son decided to wake up screaming and wouldn't stop until we picked him up at which point he practically fell back asleep in my wife's arms.  We have no idea what caused the ruckus and probably never will, but luckily it was only one night of torture, not two.  After that first night, both he and my wife slept until 7 A.M., unheard of especially for our son who likes to wake up at 530 normally.  But such is life, he is still young and is probably still getting used to the whole camping experience. 

Other than the one tortuous night, everything was good with our son.  He ate tons of solid foods as he did last time he was in Vermont and was super active as well.  What would be nice would be to find a job as professional vacationer.  I know, that doesn't really happen until retirement age, but hey, its nice to dream every so often.  For now, though, we will just have to wait a month until our next Vermont trip where construction will begin on our next project.   I mentioned last week that it would probably be simple, just four posts, all connected at the top over which we could secure a tarp as a roof.  (We have a tarp setup now, its just really big and tends to break with too much rain or wind).  Well, after much discussion while sitting around our campsite kitchen setup, we decided that it would be beneficial to build a deck in between the posts so we could have a perfectly level surface upon which to put the table, Coleman grill, cooler, etc.  In addition to having a level surface, we wouldn't have to worry about wet ground or grass.  So the next trip will see at least the start of that project, probably pouring concrete for the posts and perhaps getting the posts up.  After that, we shall see how it goes.  But for now, it is back to work, back to making money, and back to the grinding wheel.  For now, memories of vacation in Vermont will have to suffice.