Who Has Regrets?

I don't think that there is anyone out there who has not regretted something, big or small, at some point in their life.  I myself am not exempt from regrets, however in general, I think they are a waste of time.  To regret something is to feel bad about something that happened in the past, either something said or some action taken, or on the flip side, something not said or some action not taken.  Regrets come in many forms, sizes, and shapes and they have an uncanny way of affecting us all differently.  There are those out there who will focus solely on the past and search for ways that things could have gone differently, regretting many actions and words and not really growing from them.  Conversely, there are those who do not wish to look at the past at all and instead focus on the present or future.  I would like to think that I fall into the latter group, not really looking at the past except as a reference point for how I got to where I am today.  There is nothing that any of us can do to change the past.  In that sense, regrets or futile and do nothing to help us continue down the path of life.  Regrets in that sense serve only as an anchor to hold us down and keep us from reaching our full potential.  By allowing regrets to gain traction within us, we are really saying that we are not happy with where we are today and wish things could be different.  Well, in the overall scheme of things, I have no regrets.  I may have small regrets creep in from time to time in regards to certain things I said or did, but they don't linger long as I know I can't change them, I can only change myself moving forward.

So why am I talking about regrets today?  Well, I have been doing a lot of thinking lately in terms of where I am, where I came from, and where I am going.  To be honest, a lot of it stems from the fact that I have an almost 9 month old son and my thoughts now as a father have been drifting back to my earlier life before my son came into this world.  This may sound a little weird, but I almost feel as if my life to a certain extent has been validated by the fact that I have an amazing, healthy, happy son.   Don't worry, I will explain.  In order for my son to be here right now, my life leading up to this point could not have taken a different course.  Everything that I did, up until I had my son, held a purpose for me.  I may not have known, and still not know, why certain things happened or why I followed certain paths, but they all held a given purpose.  If I had done anything differently, I would not be where I am today.  I am not going to go into a litany of things I did or didn't do, but let me suffice it to say that if I were to regret anything major I did up until this point, I would in part be regretting that I have my son.  (I still have small regrets here and there, but they are few and far between and hold little sway in the overall course of events).  Even if I look at the times that I screwed up or ventured down the wrong path, I see them now as opportunities for growth, not as blemishes on my record of life.   Its amazing sometimes to look back, see where I was ten years ago and then put it into relation to where I am today.   I still may not understand why everything happened the way it did, but there is one thing I am certain of, I regret none of it. 

Some people say getting older sucks.  Well, I hope I never hit that point because life now has never seemed so rich and full.  Part of what makes life seem that way to me now is seeing what has gone into building me as a person, all my actions and reactions, my thoughts and words.  I know my body will slow down, start to deteriorate, but what I have inside will keep on building and growing so long as I don't get complacent or harbor any major regrets.   Yet again, I have stumbled upon one more thing I want to teach my son; to always keep his eyes forward, never regret anything, and keep on growing.  This may not be the simplest thing to teach someone else, but as they say, "actions speak louder than words" and this just may be one of those things that is best taught by example with only minor explanation.  I hope that by showing my son how I live my life, he will learn to live his similarly.  I can not, or for that matter will not, hope that he follows me exactly, for that would be a disservice to him and his life.  If he can learn to forge his own path, live in the present, and always look forward, then I will be happy and content.  Even if he doesn't, it won't change my feelings towards him and how I treat him.   With so many people regretting so much about their lives, I hope I can show my son how to live differently.  I hope I can show my son to be himself, to live by his own moral code, and to follow his inner voice.  By following his inner voice, he may get led astray sometimes, but in the end, he will be happy and successful with few regrets (hopefully)!