Before I get started, I will be away for the weekend and will continue posts on Monday morning (or Sunday evening if I am not too tired). Moving onwards. There seems to be a distinct disconnect from a good portion of our youth today from the world around them. While this is not indicative of all youth, (lets focus on pre-teens through teenagers here) there does seem to be an increasing number who are not aware of those around them and show a lack of civil behaviour towards others. Now I know that teenagers are rowdy, love to have fun and can be a nuisance to those around them from time to time, but there are ways this can be done while still being at least somewhat aware of how their actions are impacting those around them. I was a teenager once along with everyone reading this, but it seems that when we were younger, we at least held a higher modicum of respect for others and generally tried to be disruptive only amongst ourselves.
Last night I volunteered, as I do every Thursday evening, at a soup kitchen in New Haven feeding the homeless. Every week there are a few regulars there accompanied every week by a different group. Most of the groups that come have teenagers that assist in serving the food and cleaning the tables after people are done eating. Some of the regulars who volunteer are in fact students at my wife's high school. These "regulars" are driven, respectful individuals who do not stop working till everything is done. In fact, I would consider them more adults than teenagers in their actions. The other group last night had a few teenagers there who were absolutely clueless. They did fine serving the food from what I could tell, but after they were done, they sank into their own little world and seemed to use the eating area as their "playground". They would half-ass the cleaning of the tables, leave tables uncleaned completely because they were oblivious, and in general just got in the way. If someone were walking between tables, they wouldn't even move if you said "excuse me." (Am I being overly picky here, yes, but a little decency and awareness of others around you is always appreciated).
Unfortunately, I see this more and more when I run into teenagers. While there are those that are outstanding, there are others who are just so self-absorbed that they convey a lack of respect. In general, there seems to be a diminishing ability on their parts to interact with others an a substantive level. There are many causes for this; one being a distinct lack of parental influence in their development, and two, a reliance bordering on obsession with their technology (cell phones) to connect them to others. (There are other influences, but lets stick with two for now.)
In regards to parenting, there is still an overwhelming desire on the parents part to see their children succeed, but when it comes to dealing with personal or school issues, they seem unable to confront their children about it. They would rather sweep the problem under the rug, not deal with it, or blame it on others when the root cause is mostly their lack of involvement. Part of the issue comes when parents have to work extra long hours, whether by choice or by necessity, and don't make the time to talk to their children, teach them about respect and responsibility, and help guide them through their tumultuous teenage years. Will teenagers listen to parents, not all the time, but by being there and talking to them every day, they are more likely to unconsciously learn from their behaviour. If all they have to go off of is their peers behaviour and what they see on TV, it is no wonder that they show a general disregard for others. Parents need to be involved in the raising of their children and can not just rely on school to teach them everything. Yet it seems as adults get more disconnected, so to do the teenagers who they are raising.
Cell phones and the internet, fantastic innovations and, these days, a necessity to living life for most people, has driven a wedge between individuals and their ability to communicate in depth with their peers. Conversations have been shortened to "tweets", texts are easier than phone calls, and sitting on the computer has become easier for most people that sitting down around a table with a group of friends and talking. While this new technology has increased the overall interconnectedness of the world and brought people closer together virtually, in actuality, it is slowly driving people on a personal level apart. Adults are more capable of handling technology recognizing that human interaction is still a vital part of every day life, but the people it affects most are the teenagers. In their developmental stage, they take in everything, whether it is good or bad. When they see the world walking around with a cell phone glued to their hands, staring down at the screen in complete disregard for others, they follow suit and on some level come to believe that this is the way the world runs.
There is no way to eliminate cell phones and technology, nor would I advocate doing so, but it leads back to parenting. Parents need to be ever more vigilant in how their children use technology and the effect it is having on them. The groundwork must be laid early to cultivate our youth into outstanding citizens. Some parents do this, but their numbers seem to be diminishing. While I advocate more involvement of parents with their children, I do not however advocate involvement to the point where their life feels controlled. There is a fine balance that must be struck during a child's teenage years between lack of involvement and overbearing. Ultimately it is up to each parent as to how they will raise their child. All I am saying is that maybe some parents need to review how they are doing things and take a more vested interest in their child/children. Simply by showing more interest in what is going on in their lives can make an impact.
Ultimately, teenagers will be teenagers. They are rowdy, fun-loving, eccentric, hormone filled visages of future adults. Lets not take away their youth, it is the only chance they have to act as they do, but let us try to instill a sense of respect and responsibility both for themselves and for those around them. If we truly want to change the world, it starts with the youth. We can make changes amongst ourselves and others, but if we do not change the mentality of the youth, our world will continue unchanged because our youth will remain unchanged from who we are. They must ultimately choose their own path through life, but we can help guide them, offer advice, and be there for them to fall back on when they slip. Lets all have a little more respect for ourselves and others.
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