Mother Kills Her Children

There was some devastating news this morning out of Newburgh, NY in which a mother drove three of her four children into the Hudson River in a minivan.  From the report, it appears that she had been involved in a domestic dispute beforehand and afterwards piled her four children in the van, but before driving into the river, let the oldest child out.  The child ran to the nearest fire station, but by the time he alerted them and they responded to the incident it was too late.  Even when they responded, it took them over an hour to find the van in the murky waters of the Hudson.  The children who perished were 5,2, and 11 months old.  The child the mother let out of the van was the oldest at 10 years of age.  He could have taken care of the three others had she let them all out of the van, yet for some reason decided they needed to die with her.  What could have been so horrible about the domestic dispute that drove her to kill herself and 3 of her four children?  Now that 10 year old boy has to live the rest of his life without a mother or siblings and has to live with witnessing the event first hand.  Would it have been better if she didn't stop and drove them all into the river?  Psychologically for the boy, maybe, but at least she took mercy on one of her children. 

I am of the opinion that life, no matter how bad it might get, shouldn't drive someone to take their own life.  And it never gets bad enough where children should be dragged along for the ride.  If this mother's domestic dispute was so bad that she wanted to leave everything behind, she could have left the children in the house and just started driving, never turning around, never coming back, and starting a new life elsewhere.  Would this have been traumatic on her children, absolutely, but not nearly as bad as what the 10 year old boy witnessed.  Perhaps she feared for the life of her children at the hand of her husband/partner.  Why couldn't she have simply dropped them off on a corner near a police station and then taken off.  If she really felt like she needed to take her own life, she should have let them all out of the car and driven herself into the river.  At least the 10 year old would have had siblings and a sense of purpose in life.  But now, what is he left with?  A single child with a father who was once part of a family of 6.  

I don't know the specifics about this woman's situation, but it seems that a lot more people lately, when sliding down the slippery slope of depression and anxiety in life feel the need to drag others with them.  Maybe its for consolation that they are not alone, maybe its a vain attempt to make others feel what they are feeling, or maybe its simply because need company on their trip to hell.  Whatever the reason, people need to step up to the plate and deal with their issues.  Society has led us to believe that there is an easy out for any situation, whether it be drugs, alcohol, abandonment, or even taking ones own life.   Society wants us to believe that life should be easy and if it isn't, we should make it easy with substances or leave it altogether.   What example is this setting for others or our children.  What happens when this young boy grows up and gets into a situation that is overwhelming?  Will he follow his mother's example and drive himself into a river?  I believe that there is a greater propensity for him to do so.  If not necessarily killing himself, perhaps he will turn to the closest pill or bottle to relieve himself of the need to deal with the situation. 

Too often, when we run into a situation that is difficult or overwhelming, we want to run, naturally.  We have no desire to dig down to figure out what the root cause is and try to fix it.  We bury it, stuff it under the rug, ignore it any way we can, but it never goes away unless we face it head on and resolve it.   There are times, when working with others, that something can not be resolved, but no situation warrants the taking of a life, especially your own children.  Life is difficult and once we can all realize that it takes work to get through life, especially the hard times, good times will come.  Every part of life is not difficult, but if we start to cover up the problems or ignore them, life will get worse.  The only way to improve life is to deal with the ghosts in the closet and move on.  Everyone will have issues they are going to need to deal with whether it be with spouses, children, family, relatives, friends, etc.  It is a part of life, period.  Once we can come to accept that, we can began to work on improving our lives.   What are the ghosts in your closet?  Lets all start this day by making sure our family knows we love them.   Kiss your children if you have them or simply your spouse, partner, or girlfriend/boyfriend.   If we start every day like this, there is a good chance the rest of the day will be better.  Don't run from your issues, deal with them, but start with love.  Till next time, cherish those around you.