Testing Limits

Our son, now a little over 20 months old (can I just say I can't wait for him to be two years old just so I can stop saying the individual months) is coming to the point of pushing boundaries and testing limits.   He is learning what he can and can't do and loves to attempt to do what he is not supposed to.  But that's the way it goes with toddlers.  As all toddlers' believe, he thinks the world revolves around him and that he is the only one that matters.  As such, when he wants to get picked up, he expects to get picked up regardless of what my wife or I are doing.  We could be in the middle of making breakfast, yet if he wants to get picked up, he is relentless until we give in.  Now, we almost never give in exactly when he wants us to.  It happens almost every morning that our son wants us to hold him, put him up on the counter, and see everything from an adult perspective (i.e. a taller one).  Yet there are many times when we just can't put him on the counter either because multiple burners on the stove are being used or the counters are jammed with all the necessary items needed to get lunches packed and breakfast made.  So he stands there at our feet, hands wrapped around legs with his head shoved firmly in between.  Did I mention he likes to cry while doing this?  Well, it seems each morning I explain to our son why we can't pick him up at a certain point in time and that as soon as we are done with a specific task, we will pick him up so he can help.   Sometimes this works, other times its like talking to a brick wall.  There are times when he will actually go play with his blocks for a few minutes before coming back and begging to be picked up.  In the end, one of us usually picks him up, but only when we have a free hand and are not slammed with getting things ready for the day.  Yes, it takes patience, and some days are better for him than others, but he will learn in time.  I am sure that a lot of it has to do with him being starving in the morning and needing his food.  We usually give him a few small snacks, either saltines or fruit to hold him over, but this doesn't always work.  When breakfast is finally ready, its amazing how he settles down and is ready to eat.  Such is the life of a 20 month old.

 

Yesterday he showed a little extra defiance in the afternoon.  I was laying on the floor playing with him when he went and got a book from on top of his house and threw it to the floor.  It wasn't just the fact that he threw it at the floor (which I don't condone anyway) but the fact that it was aimed in the direction of my head that pushed one of my buttons.  Yet, I didn't get mad.  I told him we don't throw books, especially at people, and that he needed to pick the book up and put it back where he got it from.  At first he tried to run past me towards my wife.  He didn't make it by me on multiple tries so he went and stood in a corner facing me as far away as possible.   I kept on repeating to him that he needed to pick up the book and put it back where it was.  I also reminded him over and over that he can't throw things at people.  He stood there for a minute staring at me, not showing any sign that he was understanding me at all, when finally he just walked right over, picked up the book and put it back on top of his house.  I said thank you, just to reinforce that I was appreciative of his effort, and we carried on with our afternoon.  At this age, throwing things is a way of figuring out gravity and how things fly through the air, and exactly how things get thrown, but there is a time and place for throwing and books (or any other item for that matter) should never be thrown at people.  So we are working on teaching him that.  There are other things throughout the house that he knows he shouldn't touch or mess with, yet at times he likes to see if we will relent on our rules.  If we are in the room with him, he will walk up to a given object and right before he touches it, will look at either my wife or I.  While looking at us, he will then attempt to either touch the forbidden object, open a door he isn't supposed to, or some other little action.  It never works out in his favor, and I laugh on the inside when he does it because it is kind of cute, but in the end, he gets taken away and receives an explanation as to why he shouldn't be touching or opening certain things.  To be honest, I have found that, for the most part, I have a lot more patience than I thought I would have as a parent.  Yet, here I am, a father with patience, who would have thunk it?

 

Yet, despite our son pushing boundaries and testing limits, he is a lot of fun.  One of the more recent discoveries that we have made in terms of his interests is that he loves to watch cars drive by in front of our house.  We could sit out there for hours watching cars, just sitting and watching with him pointing out almost every car that drives by, which with us living on a busy street, happens to be quite a few.  He will even wave to cars on occasion.  If he is tired, he will just recline in my lap and suck his thumb.   Regardless of how we are watching cars drive by, it is a lot of fun to just sit there with him and watch the world go by.  He also loves to run around our vegetable garden, up and down the aisles, back and forth, never touching anything, just walking around the garden like we do.  I think a part of why he likes it so much is because it is kind of like an obstacle course for his feet.  The bricks we have down on the paths are not quite level with little aberrations here and there, corners sticking up, some sunken in, and none of it easy for a toddler to walk on.  On top of that, some rows have concrete blocks lining them which are a little higher than the brick so he has to step up and step down to get on and off them.  Whatever it is, he loves being outside, even going for walks in the stroller where he can watch the world go by at either my wife's or my walking pace.  Sometimes we will get back from a walk and he will go right back to the stroller, climb in by himself which is a funny thing to see, and beg to go for another walk.  Often times, one walk is enough for him for a day and he eventually climbs back out of the stroller and finds something else to occupy himself with in the yard.  I am just glad he loves the outdoors as much as we do and can't seem to get enough of it.  Well, time for me to get rolling here and as much as I would like to go on and on about our son, I must end it for now and pick it up at a later date and time.