Too Beautiful?

I know it might sound crazy for a guy to be writing this, but sometimes I just feel sorry for females in this country.   To begin with, despite what everyone says about women making as much as men in top positions in the work place, they still haven't reached a place of equilibrium yet.  Then there is the plethora of magazines and everything else that suggests a woman needs to be a size 0 with absolutely no fat on her body in order to be beautiful.  While not overtly stated, I'm pretty sure that we all know the suggestion that the better you look, the farther you will get both in life and in work (despite the fact that its unlikely true).  To top it all off, women can't be too beautiful either, and I'll explain why.  As I was reading the NYTimes this morning, I saw an article which caught my eye.  It was an op-ed piece about a case in Iowa in which a female dental assistant was fired for being too beautiful.  Yes, you did read that correctly, and I will re-state it again, a woman was fired for being too beautiful.  It appears that the dentists felt threatened by her beauty, felt it was too much of a temptation, he might fall into a trap and have an affair, and to top it all off, his wife felt the same way and urged him to fire her.  As is the case with everything in this country, the woman filed suit by way of gender discrimination.  She lost in the lower courts, appealed to the Iowa supreme court, and lost again.   The courts upheld this dentist's reasons for firing this "too beautiful" dental assistant and she is out of a job.  The courts didn't uphold the dentists decision based upon gender discrimination, but through a subversive way that essentially skirted the main issue.  The main issue in this case is that the man apparently has a jealous wife and no apparent self control.   For every two steps forward we take as a society, we inevitably take at least one step backwards.  To me it is downright absurd.  If a man fears losing his control over his actions to the point where he might have an affair with an employee, he probably shouldn't be married.  I can hear the arguments already.  "But its natural to be attracted to beautiful people."  "But people's interests change and perhaps he doesn't find his wife attractive anymore."  The fact of the matter remains that it was his choice to hire her and, whether he likes it or not, he is in complete control of his actions and can decide whether or not to act upon his feelings. 

 

Lets be honest here, most men walking down a street will at least look at a beautiful woman walking the other way (unless of course they are attracted to men).   Even women, despite the fact that most won't admit it, will look at a good looking man walking down the street.  Does this mean that we should ban all good looking people from walking down the street because they might incite a person attracted to them to act upon their feelings?  I think not.  We are all in control of our actions and if we truly love the person we are married to, then it shouldn't matter if we are around beautiful people or not.  On top of that, since the dentist was married, shouldn't there be a certain level of trust between the two?  That is unless, of course, the dentists screwed up in the past and had a different affair.   Yet, all trust seems to be diminishing, not just among that dentist's marriage, but amongst other marriages as well.  We spend so little time these days focusing on the one people we are married to that we lost touch with them and begin to lose trust with them as well.  Perhaps instead of firing that dental assistant, the dentist should have gone to therapy with his wife to resolve some underlying trust issues.  No, instead he fires her for being too beautiful and gets away with it.  So much for gender equality in the work place.  And the worst part about it is that the courts upheld his decision essentially paving the way for all men in positions of power to fire beautiful female employees because they are too much of a temptation.  Talk about a load of crap. 

 

What we really need is to focus less on how people look and more at their capabilities of performing a certain job.  If the dental assistant was completely competent, and actually did a good job working for this specific dentist, then there should have been no grounds for firing her.  Granted, employers get away with a lot worse, I know, but what is this opening the door to?  Who knows.  Let us all focus not on how people look, but rather on who they are and the content of their character.  I have met many people over the years and I can assure you that being pretty or ugly is in absolutely no way, shape, or form and indication of high intelligence or good character.  I have met both beautiful and not so beautiful people who are both lacking in intelligence and character.  Conversely, I have people on both ends of the spectrum who are ridiculously smart and have good character.  There is no magic solution.  In the end, it can't be about the looks, even though it still is.  My only hope is that this case in Iowa doesn't create an atmosphere in which people get fired for being good looking.  Ah life, how you baffle me sometimes.