She Has My Temper

An unfortunate event occurred a little while ago.  Our whole family was sitting in the living room playing, it was probably late afternoon, when my son and daughter started "arguing" over who was going to get a box that they both wanted.  I say "arguing" because our daughter isn't talking yet so her way of "arguing" is pulling on the box while our son tries to tell her that he needs it in the nicest way possible.   So as they are "arguing" over the box, our daughter yelling, our son talking, she goes into a little fit of rage.  Her face turns red, every ounce of her tiny little body shakes in anger, and she does everything in her power to pull that box from her brother's hands.  On top of that, her rage is shown in the fiery look she puts on her face.  The rage only lasts a few seconds before she switches gears and tries crying in order to get the box.  The box in the end went to our son, the more powerful of the two.  He doesn't always get it, especially if we see that he is just trying to take what she is playing with because he thinks it is "his".  This time though, neither of them had been playing with it and we just let it play out to see what would happen.  It was an enlightening moment, to be sure, and solidified in my mind that my daughter and I will have some interesting times when she is a teenager.  That was just the first instance where we saw her temper displayed.  Such is life with siblings, they both want what the other is playing with and get upset when it either gets taken away by the other or they are forced to share (depending on the situation).  There was another time where she put her temper on display for us that really sticks out in my mind.   Once again, we were playing in the living room.  Our son was on a chair with the cushion lying on the ground (he likes to pretend its a school bus) and was just driving his "bus" to different places.  Our daughter was fully engrossed with some toys on the opposite side of the room.  That is, she was engrossed until she looked up and saw her brother on the chair.  As soon as she saw him sitting there, she dropped what she was doing, crawled as fast as she could over the chair, climbed in, and began trying to push him off the chair while screaming at the top of her lungs.  We laughed for a minute before getting our daughter off the chair resulting in a stream of tears because she didn't get what she wanted.   In all honesty, our children get along really well for the most part, I am just highlighting a few instances where they are not.  

We are beginning to notice that there is a big difference between the way our son and daughter handle their emotions.  Our son, soft spoken and quiet, tends to hide his emotions and not like to let them show.  He doesn't always like talking about what is bothering him and while he does get upset over little stupid things (as any three and a half year old does), he does not get as vocal as our daughter it seems.  He will cry and try to get his way, but the anger is not behind it like it is for our daughter.  Our daughter, on the other hand, wears her emotions on her sleeve.  You can tell how she is feeling just by looking at her.  And she is not afraid to let you know when she is upset.  Just the other morning, she wanted to be held by my wife.  She didn't want to sit in her high chair, she didn't want to play on the floor, and she didn't want to be held by me.  It was the time of morning when I had to get breakfast started and my wife had to get dressed and ready for work.  So, she stood on the floor, screaming her head off, for about 10 minutes.  Eventually she started screaming and walking towards the stairs to try and find my wife.  Just as she was getting to the bottom of the stairs, our son was beginning to make his way down for the morning.  She saw him, looked at me, stopped crying and put out her arms to be picked up.  Oh, my little girl.  She is smarter than she lets on and definitely knows how to try and get her way.  While she wears her emotions on her sleeve, there is a flip side to her that is interesting to see.  As opposed to her brother who always just jumped right in and wanted to try things, she is an observer.  She figures things out by watching people do them and not until she feels confident in her abilities will she attempt them herself.  She doesn't even like to let people help her.  If she is trying to do something and you reach for her hand to guide it and help her out, she will quickly pull her hand back, like a turtle pulling its head into its shell, and will wait till you take your hand back before trying again.  Its on her terms or no terms at all.  Our two children will definitely need different mind sets from us as parents to deal with them as they get older.  It shall be interesting if nothing else.  And yet, I still and will always love them both, despite any temper tantrums that get thrown our way.