You know that moment when you think you have heard of all the nonsense that parents have to go through and think to yourself, "ahhh, nothing else could top what I have already heard and none of it will affect me."? Well, I thought that moment had passed for me and my life would be smooth and without incident for our children. OK, maybe not smooth and without incident, but at least void of all the insane and deleterious events that parents are sucked into while simply being parents in the 21st century. I think you know where I am going with this...I thought wrong. Yesterday, my wife sent me an email that she got from our children's daycare inviting us and our son to a prom celebrating the graduation of the pre-school class (which my son isn't even in yet). Let me just say that one more time in case you missed it, a prom in honor of the pre-school graduating class. Let that sink in for a minute, really sink in, that the parents and children in pre-school and one year behind, were invited to a prom, the likes of which they will probably forget in a few years. The first time I read the email, I almost thought it was a joke, but the email was long enough to be taken seriously, and attached to the email was the actual sign up sheet to indicate how many people would be attending and what kind of food we would be bringing to share. Is there some sort of dress code for a "daycare prom"? Do I have to go rent a tux for my son at three and a half so he can run around and get it covered in food? What about the parents, are we expected to dress up as well, mingle with non-alcoholic drinks in our hands as we watch our children dance to Raffi and Sesame Street music?
Even if I am exaggerating a bit, why is there a need for a daycare prom? If it isn't even truly a prom, then why call it that? After reading and re-reading and re-reading the invitation, it sounds more like a simple gathering after a graduation. That doesn't change the fact that it was called a prom, our son isn't even in the "graduating" class of pre-school, and to top it all off, doesn't even know anyone in the graduating class. Maybe I should go, get a limo or party bus, shuffle all the little kids on and make a grand entrance. Then again, for those of you who know me, the mere thought of attending a "prom" for a daycare gives me a twitch and raises my blood pressure. Perhaps the person writing the letter doesn't really know what prom means, because if they did, the probably wouldn't have used it in place of "party". A "graduation party" I can attend for our son, a "graduation prom" I can not. The definition of prom is as follows, "a formal ball held for a school class toward the end of the academic year." Maybe it is a formal ball, but I doubt it. I doubt that they would expect parents to get all dressed up along with their children to attend a pre-school graduation. At least I would hope they don't expect it, because I have none of that in me. Let's break it down even more, pre-school is not academic by any means. There is no "narrow focus on or display of learning especially its trivial aspects." Pre-school, and daycare in general, is about learning basic skills and socialization, nothing more. It is about preparing a child for school and academia without actually entering its realm. But I digress, we were talking about a prom. A PROM!
Needless to say, we will not be attending the prom. No way, no how, its just not happening. Even if our son asked if we could go, I would say, "no, we can't". I would even explain my reasoning behind not going. I would tell him that prom's are for older people, not young kids his age, and I would also explain that I simply would not be going to an event called a "prom". I am done with proms, have been done with them for 14 years, and there is no way in hell I am going to one again. Simply put, my prom days are over, and my son's will not be starting till he is actually in a school that is involved in the study of academics, not pre-school, kindergarten, or any grammar school grade. Sorry, I am going to be the spoiler here, but that's my job as a parent, to be a spoiler and take all the fun away, at least when I feel it should be postponed for, I don't know, about 13 years at least. That is all, you may carry on with your lives now.
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