How many of us have friends and family? I would say that for the majority of people reading this, including myself, the answer would be affirmative. Now, how many of us have taken the time recently to thank those around them for being who they are, especially if they are supportive and loving? I don't know about anyone else, but I know that I don't thank those around me often enough or recognize how much of an impact they have on my life. Before I get to far, I do want to say that this post is not derived from any article in the NYTimes or other online publication, rather it is derived from experiences that I have had over the past month or so and have accumulated into a unique appreciation for those around me. A number of events have transpired that have added to this, but I will focus on only a few for now. The first that occurred was a BBQ that I had at our house. We had between 20 and 30 people show up, all of them friends and I would say, all of them I could trust my life with. This group ranged from friends I had known for decades to friends that have only been around a few years. To gather around you people who are like-minded and supportive is a blessing. To me, it had the ability of re-invigorating my own life by realizing that there are people out there who care for me. Often times, in the day to day grind of going to work, coming home, going to sleep and repeating it all over again, I am sure that we all lose sight of what is actually important in this life we are living. It is not the money we make (although we need it to live), but the most important thing is the people around us who we feed off of and who to a certain extent make us who we are. If we surround ourselves with miserable people who we call friends and hang out with yet are not really supportive, then we will most likely feel depressed and forlorn. If those around us are positive and full of life, then we are more likely to embrace a positive attitude and remain happy for longer.
The only part of the BBQ that I regret is that I did not get the chance to talk to every person and thank them for being who they are and being supportive in their own way whether they realize it or not. Often times, being supportive is not about offering words of support (although the words are important), but being positive and engaging. After the BBQ, one of my long time friends who had attended invited my wife and I to a small intimate cookout with about 6 people at his house. Upon getting there, the feeling I received when walking through the door was totally different than the feeling I got at my BBQ. It was not just because of the location, it was the people there. Personally, I do not see how this good friend of mine can consider these people his friends (totally my opinion here). I used to hang out with some of them years ago, but drifted away as I never really considered them close friends. They had their moments of positivity, but they were few and far between when looking at the big picture. Mostly, they complained about their lot in life, were miserable and critical. It wasn't even the fact that they were critical in general, they seemed to be overly critical of my friend who had them over to his house. As the evening progressed, I watched my friend slowly become more miserable and depressed. It got to the point where my wife and I couldn't take the complaining any more and excused ourselves so we could go home. On the way home, I made sure I thanked my wife for being who she was and made sure she knew that I loved her. In short, it put into perspective a lot of things. If my circle of friends was similar to those miserable people at my friend's BBQ, I would be a depressed SOB with seemingly nothing to look forward to.
Having had two BBQ's within a week of each other followed by a family pool party with people I love around me made me realize how often I don't thank those people in my life for being who they are. Yes, I appreciate them, but if you don't tell them you love them or appreciate them, how are they supposed to know? I know that I personally need those words to be said to me every so often, especially when I am working long days and am exhausted when I come home. To hear my wife say "Thank you for being who you are", or "Your a wonderful person" instantly boosts my mood and is like caffeine for my mentality. If I have had a bad day and hear her say that, it instantly brings me to life and gives me the energy I need to keep on going. It is these subtle words and attitudes in life that have the ability to keep us going, re-energize us, and enable us to live a life that is positive and engaging. In my mind, there is nothing worse than having the feeling like you are being taken advantage of or that nobody around you loves or appreciates you. Actions often times are not enough, the words need to be said. Think of the positive impact you can have on the loved ones around you just by saying "Thank you" even if they haven't done anything. We all have the tendency to get stuck in vicious cycles where we close out those around us and focus solely on ourselves. We must struggle to get out of this cycle and leave work at work, and live a different life around those we love. Today, if you haven't said it recently to friends or family, reach out to them and simply tell them you appreciate them for who they are and thank them for being in your life. I guarantee that it will both make a difference in their life and in yours. Live today like the present that it is and realize that all those around you are part of that present.
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