This topic hasn't exactly made front page news in any major newspaper that I know of probably due to the fact that the United States is closer to defaulting on its debt than it ever has been before. But personally, I am sick of politicians bickering and finger pointing and at this point I would much rather talk about polygamy. Polygamy, a legal issue in the U.S. dating back to the 1800's, is now going to be re-entering the courts with a new challenge. The lawsuit, being filed by Kody Brown of the show "Sister Wives" seeks not to have states recognize polygamous marriages, but rather to keep states from punishing polygamists for their own "intimate conduct" as long as they are living within the confines of the larger law, i.e. no incest, no child abuse, etc. The current lawsuit being filed in Utah builds off of another lawsuit from 2003 that struck down sodomy laws in Texas as unconstitutional. (For the full relationship between the lawsuits follow this link.) Polygamy, for those who don't know what it is, is a relationship in which a man has more than one wife. Currently, polygamy is illegal and as such most admitted polygamists only have one actual wife with other wives being called "sister wives" with no actual legal bond. Polygamy for some, especially prevalent in Utah, is a way of life that they have been living for generations. Many of the current polygamists grew up in polygamist families and as such sought out polygamist relationships when they grew older. I myself, having not grown up in a polygamist family could never see myself in that type of relationship, but that doesn't mean that I look down on polygamists as evil or as breaking the law. They are simply living a different type of lifestyle that I am mostly unfamiliar with. That is, until I watched some of the "Sister Wives" shows. Normally, I want nothing to do with "reality TV" especially as portrayed on TLC, but this show caught my eye because it presented to me a different lifestyle that I was unfamiliar with.
After watching a number of the shows, I have learned a lot and come away with a different view of polygamy than I had before. Not that I had a clear idea of what a polygamist relationship was like, but after watching the show, I can see the benefits and the challenges present in that type of relationship. Personally, I find nothing wrong with what they do or the way they lead their life. Is it a life that I would choose? No, but I would never speak out against it or denegrate it any way. Just because polygamy is not recognized by most mainstream religions or the law does not make it wrong. What does make it wrong? Is it the fact that it flies in the face of conventional relationships? Is it because it is so vastly different than the relationships most of us are involved in? One might argue that polygamy is about male domination and keeping the women in line and that because of it, it should be illegal. Well, does that not happen in normal relationships as well? I have seen many instances where a monogamous relationship was incredibly worse off than the polygamist one portrayed on "Sister Wives". I have heard men totally berate and belittle their wives for even talking out of place. So what does that say about monogamy? Does that cast a shadow over monogamous relationships that we now must all deal with? No, it happens in certain instances, but it is not universal. The same goes for polygamy. While there may be some polygamous relationships out their in which the male is overly dominant and controlling almost to the point of abuse, it does not make it a universal norm to be applied to all polygamist relationships. One man's beliefs are another man's taboo.
At this point, I think that this whole argument boils down to people being able to accept a different way of life. Although polygamy has been around for centuries, it has not been at the forefront of any news or for that matter any major discussion. Now that it is in front of us, we must look at it for what it is; a relationship in which a man shares his love with more than one woman. I know that I would not be able to do this, but that is me, and I personally applaud the Brown's for their ability to make their relationship work and their steadfastness in sticking to their guns and fighting for what they believe in. Just as the influx of gay marriages has forced many people to re-align their views, so to does this case now force people to look at the facts, realize that their way is not the only way, and open their minds to accepting a different way of life. I personally find fault in the government of Utah for opening their investigation into the Brown's polygamous relationship in the first place. They used a TV show as the main source of information about the Brown's lives and are seeking to essentially destroy that family. In a polygamous case that is brought to the courts, what normally happens is the family is split up, the father goes to jail, and the children who grew up together usually never see each other again. What kind of life is that? While I am not advocating that everyone must accept polygamy or for that matter view it as favorable, I am imploring people to look at it with an open mind and not build off of society's prejudices to formulate their own opinion. Too often we accept what is handed to us by society as good, just, and lawful; however as humans evolve and generations pass, we must constantly seek to tweek our views of almost everything. We can not just accept whatever society hands us, but must seek our own answers based upon our own views and opinions. Simply living our lives based upon what society deems as good is not really living at all. Today, examine your own views. Do you accept what society hands you as sacrosanct or do you question everything and formulate your own views and opinions?
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