My grandmother, known to our family as Baba, is an amazing woman who has suffered through many ordeals and yet still maintains a fighting spirit with her wits about her at the age of 91. To many of those who know her, she is an ornery woman who has said on many occasions that she is ready to die, yet her body won't let her yet. She is having trouble coming to terms with her aging condition and allowing people to help her, yet to me, I can't help but see her as the woman who helped raise me when I was younger and the woman who was always there for her family, for better or for worse. But this is not about other's perceptions of Baba, this is my thanking her for being such a loving grandmother and such a dedicated, strong woman. If there was ever a tale to tell of a woman overcoming insurmountable odds, hers is the one that needs to be heard. She grew up in Ukraine, living a tough early life. Despite the hardships, she went to work for a sugar factory as an engineer of sorts until WWII disrupted everything. Her first husband was blown up on a train, leaving her with her first daughter, Dina, to attend to. Her and her parents consequently left Ukraine because of the war and never looked back. Traveling through many European countries, they eventually made their way to Chile where she re-married and gave birth to my mother. When all hell broke loose in Chile, her and her family made their way to the United States in 1964. After a number of years in the United States, her second husband died of a stroke/heart attack. She struggled on, living for quite some time with Dina before moving to North Carolina. There, she re-married for the third time. Again, her marriage wasn't to last and her third husband died of a heart attack. With Dina and some other family moving to Florida, she moved as well, establishing a new life in Naples. Time went on until Dina found out she had a brain tumor and died early. Becoming increasingly unbearable to live with, she was sent back north to live with my parents where she still lives today. Her story is one of suffering, yet also one of perseverance. While she still feels the pain of all her losses, she still struggles on, her face looking like one of an 80 year old, not of a woman who is 91.
While my grandmother may be ornery now, she is still filled with good intentions. What I am most thankful for is her never ending love for family. Despite her hectic life, she never let it affect her to the point where she withdrew from it. She was always present to her family and was always full of love. My most poignant memories of her are when I was a young boy. Before my mother quit her job to spend time with me growing up, I spent my days at my grandmother's house, building houses out of refrigerator boxes, making forts out of dining room tables sheets and pillows, and playing with tinker toys and lincoln logs. And how can I ever forget my grandmother teaching me how to climb trees at the age of three. To this day, if I see a tree in the woods that begs to be climbed, I climb it. My grandmother helped establish the foundation from which I was to grow and learn. Even today, I can see the never ending love she has for her family when she sees my son, her great grandson. While she still tries to control those around her and what they do, I see it more out of her wanting what is best for her family than trying to bend other's wills to hers. For her love I will be forever thankful. For her endless giving, I will be forever thankful. To me, there is nothing I would change about my grandmother or my relationship with her.
Perhaps the toughest part of writing all this down is the realization that she will not be around forever. She is 91 and if all goes well, might live another 9 years, maybe (but not if left up to her). My only hope at this point is that she lives for at least another 3-4 years, long enough so that my son can experience some of the love that she has so selflessly showered on those around her throughout the years. I want my son to have memories of his great grandmother, a wonderful woman who has been through so much and yet yearns for so little. Baba is someone I would like to keep around forever (although I know its not possible). As much as I have talked about coming to terms with death, I know I will have trouble with hers. I can not help but admire her fortitude, her perseverance, her strength. It is safe to say that I look up to my grandmother and will always hold her in my heart. I can not say enough how thankful I am that she has been a part of my life. I know that she will not read this online and so this week, the week before Christmas, I will write her a letter (and to my other grandparents as well), expressing my gratitude for her and what she has done. I know I couldn't tell her in person, I just wouldn't be emotionally capable of it. Also, writing it down will giver her something to hold on to, something to keep with her. She has long lamented losing everything she has over the course of her life, yet she still has a family that loves her and is willing to go the extra mile to help her. Here is to you Baba, a pillar of strength and a fountain of love. I will love you always.
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