The word "normal" is used to describe many different aspects of people, society, and anything else that could possibly fall under the auspices of "normal". I have been told many times, my wife amongst those who have said as such, that I am not normal. You know what, I'm glad that people don't consider me normal and I embrace my non-normalcy. In fact, whenever my wife tells my that I am not "normal", or as she more often refers to me as weird or strange, I ask why it took so long for her to figure it out. (Just for the record, I love my wife and love the fact that she can tell me that I am weird, strange, and not normal to my face. I don't think that there has been a single point in my life where I have actually been normal. Granted, there were times during my teenage years where I strove for a sense of normalcy in my life; to fit in if you will amongst the crowds, however those times were fraught with a sense of disillusionment and of deception mostly to myself. Instead of seeking out those who would accept me in all my eccentricities, I instead during that time chose to portray myself as one of the masses, as someone who was just like everyone else. What I failed to see at that time, but now see much more clearly is that those whose admiration or acceptance I sought were those that embraced themselves and their uniqueness. I guess that's part of going through your teenage years though, you either recognize who you are and embrace it, or you strive for the status quo, to blend in, to disappear, to be one like everyone else. Luckily for me, or at least I consider it lucky, those years of striving towards normalcy didn't last too long. The people I associate with now on a regular basis or people who are not normal. I don't think I have one close friend that I would consider "normal". Now, while I painted a picture of normal in reference to what I strove for in high school, that does not fully encompass what "normal" is. In this day and age, it seems that there is an excessive use of the word normal when it comes to almost every facet of every day life. People are expected to act normally, to be normal when associating with others, to not exceed the boundaries of what we are capable of dealing with.
I would even go so far as to say that no one is actually "normal". The more we strive to create a society in which everyone is "normal", the more we will create a society that seeks to eradicate individuality, innovation, and self expression. Think about it, what is your reaction to someone who is walking down the street dressed flamboyantly or seeming to dance down the street? Many of us would shy away, cast glances that would indicate our skepticism about that person, or even move to the far side of the sidewalk. While the way we dress and act in public is merely one mode of self expression, to me it paints a very clear picture of how people act when faced with the unknown, the eccentric, the strange. Those people may embody those descriptors, but to me, those people while perhaps eccentric, are also entirely unique individuals who choose to embrace who they are instead of covering themselves with a veil of "normalcy". We can throw around the word "normal" and seek to make our society full of more "normal" individuals, but we can not deny the fact that almost everyone who walks down the street is a unique individual, who while not expressing their individuality in the way they dress per se, still has a unique personality that is different from everyone else. The degree to which we express our individuality varies from person to person, but no one is normal. So why then, do people shy away from the abnormal when they are not normal themselves. To me, it is easier to shy away from the abnormal than to seek to understand it, to accept if you will the fact that abnormal most times merely means unique. We as humans want people to fit into our little ideal of what is acceptable and understandable. We approach others through our own lens, our own individuality, and if other's don't fit within our lens, we move on or dismiss them. What we must come to realize is that everyone has their own lens through which they view the world. People may try and twist their lens to more closely mimic the lens of others, but the two lenses will never completely overlap. There will always be discrepancies in the way we view others, however, there is another option. We can put down our lens and simply look out on the world with acceptance. Yet this means putting ourselves aside and allowing others to view us in a similar light, naked and unobstructed by disguises.
Its not always easy to let go of who we are to view others innocently and without judgement. We often times hold our lens so close that it becomes part of who we are, and when it does we sometimes fail to see those and the world around us for what they and it truly. The more we keep our lenses up and attached to us, the more we forget that the world around us is filled with abnormalities, eccentricities, and uniqueness. I strive to never put my lens up, to never view others through my own vision of what I think the world should look like and actually view the world and those in it as they are. What does that concretely mean? It means putting all judgement on hold or even to go so far as to abolish our judgement of others. Everyone is different, yet the moment we judge them as weird or abnormal without truly "knowing" them, that is the moment we create a distance between us and put up a wall that prevents us from ever knowing who they truly are. If we enter into anything with a preliminary judgement, we essentially enter closed off and unable to truly understand either the situation or the person. If we are to judge, which I believe we should try never to do, we should reserve judgement for after any interaction. At least by holding off judgement we can at least remain partially open to others and their abnormalities. If we abolish judgement altogether we can then truly understand or at least seek to understand others through our openness and curiosity. Curiosity is a much better companion to life than judgement. For myself, I try to never judge as I hate to be judged by others. I have dealt with other's judgement of me too often to want to pass it along to others. More often than not I am curious about what makes people do what they do, act the way they act, and essentially be the person they are. How can I judge others when I don't fully understand myself? I know I am not normal. I have my eccentricities which present themselves randomly. I have my unique vision of the world that is continually developing and changing. Yet I doubt if I will ever completely understand myself. As long as I seek to learn who I am and who other's are in the most honest fashion possible, without judgement, then at least I can create a life for myself that is whole, unique, and void of any skepticism or uncertainty. Perhaps I will continue this line of thought later, perhaps I won't, but let is suffice to say today that I'm not normal and I hope that you don't consider yourself normal either. Normal is perhaps the worst thing we can be and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone, especially those reading this today.
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