Two Options in Life

The first few weeks of this new year have not been the best by most standards.  Sickness has made its way through my family, clients who wanted work done ended up spending too much on Christmas to have me work now, I've accidentally deleted important information from a flash drive, my van has needed more work done.   The list goes on.  Yet, unlike past years when a series of events such as this would have had a much more detrimental effect on my overall disposition, I haven't let the events get to me.  Perhaps its a sign that I am maturing or altering my views of how events affect me, perhaps its just that I am more positive than I was in the past.  Previously, I most likely would have gone into multiple fits, complained to any who would listen about my various predicaments, and been an overall bear to live with; ornery and miserable.  I think a part of what has changed is that I now realize how in almost all cases, things could be worse.  The sickness that came and went in our house could have been more than just the common cold, we could have all gotten the flue and been bed ridden for a week.  In the case of work being put off till later, people could have chosen not to do the work at all, and luckily, I still have work, just not as much of it right now.  I could have crashed my whole computer instead of just accidentally deleting valuable information off of my flash drive.  And to top it all off, and this I know could have been worse, my van could have had a serious break down as I brought it in just before the tensioner pulley on the engine completely gave way.  I actually consider myself lucky to not have had things worse so far.  I choose to look past the little hiccups in life and try to remain focused on what needs to get done.  Frankly, there are much more important things that need my attention than the little disruptions that could potentially send me into a depressing spiral downwards.  I have my son who needs me to be attentive to him, show him that things are OK, and remain happy and positive around him.  I still have chores that need to get done.  I can't simply wallow in my misery and feel sorry for myself that things are happening for the worse.  Its just not conducive to getting things done.

I must say though, that despite my remaining mostly positive and not letting things affect me the way they would have in the past, I do get bothered when I hear others complaining about insignificant events in their lives.  There are times when I would like nothing more than to put them in their place, explain my life to them for a few minutes, and see if they still complain about their lives afterwards.  I never do this, however, because it doesn't accomplish anything.  Nothing will be gained on my end by trying to outdo their woeful complaints with my own, except perhaps a little self gratification.  But I don't look for self gratification.  If anything, self gratification is only temporarily fulfilling and in the end leaves one with a sense of emptiness.  On top of that, who am I to say that someone else's complaints aren't justified.  Just because I don't necessarily agree with their complaining about various events in their lives doesn't mean that they shouldn't complain or don't have a right to complain.  What I try to do instead is empathize with them, view the situation from their point of view and maybe, just maybe, they have it worse than I do.  I'm not one to judge on any scale who has it worse than anyone else, myself included.  We all have issues we deal with, some bigger than others, and we never know how truly bad someone has it unless we try and view their situation from their eyes.  Still, despite the fact that we never know how bad others have it, I still don't much appreciate hearing others complaining about their issues.  I am of the mindset that the more we complain about something, the less we are actually able to move past it.  Every issue that arises offers us the possibility of learning from it and consequently moving past it. 

So what are our two options in life?  Well, the first option is to let issues affect us in such a way that we get paralyzed, stuck, and depressed; leaving us feeling incapable of moving forward in any meaningful way.  The second option is to look at the issues in our life and figure out the best way of learning from them and moving past them, deciding ultimately that they will not have a lasting effect on our lives.  In essence, we can be negative about the things that affect us or positive.  I choose to be positive most of the time.  That's not to say that I don't get the occasional pang of doubt or depression, I just choose to ignore those little pangs and move past them to whatever I need to do next.  In my mind, life is to short to dwell on the little issues that occasionally get in the way and could potentially disrupt our lives.  If we dwell on all the insignificant issues that come along, we will forget to look at the larger picture, the beauty that is occurring all around us despite what is occurring in our lives.  Often times that beauty around us could provide enough impetus to propel us forward and towards more meaningful and positive interactions with others.   In some ways I feel sorry for those that complain incessantly about the predicaments in their lives that make it seem like life is a grim fairy tale in which they are the main depressed character.  Life throws us curve balls all the time.  It is up to us how we deal with those curve balls.  We can either stand in the same place and get hit head on every single time or we could learn to step to the side and perhaps only take a glancing blow.  How do you deal with those issues that pop up in your life?  Do you let it affect you in a negative way or are you capable of looking past the issue, learning from it, and making your life better because of it?