Fatherly Anticipation

Well, if you couldn't guess by the title of this post, our baby has not yet been born.  It is still squirming away inside of my wife, flipping side to side, kicking vociferously, and making swiping movements at the outside world.  We decided, albeit with very little debate amongst ourselves, not to find out what the sex of our baby is going to be.  In this world of no surprises, we wanted a joyous one, filled with anticipation.  Most people are overjoyed at the prospect that we are not finding out what we are having as it seems most people these days find out as soon as possible.  When we were taking the "birthing class" we were the only ones out of ten couples who had not found out.   Yet, despite most people being excited that we are not finding out, there seems to be just as many who press us for our opinions on what we think we will have or what we hope to have.  Our responses overall have been, "We are hoping for a healthy baby".  After all, what more could you really hope for.  To set your mind on one sex when you have no knowledge of it is in a way giving yourself a 50% chance at disappointment.  For myself at least, when I answer that I want a healthy baby, it is rarely good enough.  Most times I get, "But don't you really want a boy".  Of course I want a boy...or a girl.  Either one would be amazing.  Regardless of what sex my child is when they enter into this world, we will love our child.  To be perfectly honest, it gets annoying at times being pushed and pushed to give the answer that people want to hear.  Sometimes I almost give in and say, "of course I want a little boy"  or a little girl.  But enough about the questions, I can't wait to meet our child. 

I often spend my days thinking about our child, not necessarily what he or she will look like, but our new life together.  Being able to hold our child, take it with us everywhere, show it the world and most of all just love it.   I have heard so many different opinions about what it is like to bring home that child.  Some people freak out and get stressed, others take it in stride.  My wife and I being laid back people, I think that overall, things will go smoothly.  Will there be moments of stress, undoubtedly.  This is an event that neither of us has dealt with before and I am sure that there will be moments where we question if what we are doing is the right thing.  But what is the right thing to do?  I feel that there is no one set way to bring your child home and raise it.  Everyone can have an opinion (which most do) on the proper way to raise a child and granted there are very good ideas about how to go about doing things, but in the end, I feel that it is up to us the parents to decide what is best for our child.  Perhaps the best way that I heard it put from an older friend who has had a couple of children is that the child fits into your life.  It shouldn't matter what you do, the child becomes part of your life, it is not about changing everything you do to accommodate the child (although I am sure that it happens at some level regardless).  Why wouldn't a child fit into your life, your rhythm, your way of doing things.  After all, what better way to show them how the world works?  Whenever we as adults enter into a new situation, that situation filled with other adults does not alter itself fundamentally to accommodate our needs, we must fit into that situation to a certain extent.  Alas, only time will tell how things work out, but I am sure that they will work out for the best.

As much as I was apprehensive at one point about bringing a child into this world because of the way the world has become, I am now excited to show our new child the world.  Despite everything negative that goes on these days, the messages that people send and the way people act, there is so much good that goes unnoticed.  I want to teach our child to find that good, to seek out what is right with this world and embrace it.  I think that is enough to start with.  There is so much more that I want to teach our child, but from the start, it will be enough just to love our child.  Love will carry our child through its first few months, along with diaper changing, reading books, singing to it, etc.  The day is almost here, tomorrow or a week, after nine months, time seems irrelevant.  One day blends into another as we wait.  My wife, luckily, is not freaking out about any of this, if anything she is more calm than she normally is tinged with excitement of course.   But as we wait, our child continues to grow, developing, strengthening, getting ready to enter this world.  If for some reason I miss a couple of days during the week, I am sure that you will be able to figure out what happened.  Regardless, when the day comes, we will be ready, our bags our packed, we are ready to go, and nothing can get in the way now (except traffic of course!).