Flexibility and Attitude

Earlier this week I interacted with a particularly stubborn person.  My interaction was brief and very few words were exchanged between myself and this other person mostly because I was totally put off by her inflexibility and cold demeanor.   While I could understand where she was coming from in terms of her inflexibility, the biggest thing that made me want to walk away was her coldness.  There seemed to be no life coming from her, just cold ice picks driving into any person who was around her.  What makes it even harder for me to understand is that she is a highly successful woman.  So how do the two interact, flexibility and attitude.  On the one hand, there are situations that require everyone to be flexible and others that require a certain steadfastness if you will, or a degree of inflexibility to achieve a certain goal.  Regardless of which situation you find yourself in, one that requires flexibility or inflexibility, attitude is by far the bigger player, the one that determines how you are perceived and how others interact with you.  I believe that while certain situations require of us a degree of inflexibility, there are ways to approach it that can leave a positive impression on others.  This woman that I dealt with needs an attitude adjustment in my mind.  If she had even just smiled or taken a little more time to explain her position, everyone around her would have felt more at ease.  As it was, whenever she was around, I was on edge, always questioning what the next moment would bring from her.  I might have even initiated a conversation if I felt that she would have been warm and welcoming.  However, she lost the opportunity as a successful woman to expand her network and in fact, I believe that she pushed people away simply by her attitude. 

Attitude plays a big role in our everyday lives.  We have the choice each and every day about how we approach others, how we will conduct ourselves, and what kind of person we will be.  Everyone has those days that are draining, depressing, dragging; and it is undeniably hard to pull from ourselves a positive attitude that will be beneficial to those around us.  If we are negative or cold, others will visibly see that on our faces and in our actions and have one of two reactions, either to walk away and avoid us altogether or be negative and cold as well.  If we can remain positive, however, the benefits are far greater.   We can have an impact on more people around us just by being positive, smiling, and compassionate.   We will be a natural attractant that draws others towards us.  Why, because people would much rather be around someone who is positive and lighthearted than someone who is depressing and cold.  Others who may have a cold or negative attitude during the day can be pulled out of it if we can evoke a positive attitude within ourselves and portray that to all around us.  It is not always easy to remain positive throughout the day, but if we make the effort to, it will benefit far more people than if we are negative.

Flexibility is a trait that can be learned, maybe not easily for some, but possible.  In almost all situations, I believe that we must have the ability to be flexible and adapt to the situation at hand.  More often than not, flexibility will get us much farther in life than being inflexible will.  Life is not just black and white; there is a whole gray area in the middle where much of life happens and if we can maneuver through that gray area with ease, we will find that life will be a little easier most of the time.  What is white for one person can be black for the next or vice versa.  There are so many variations of what people consider to be the right path, the correct way of doing things, that if everyone adhered solely to their point of view, very little would actually get accomplished.  Being flexible requires us to take a step away from our point of view and meet others in the middle, discuss options, pros and cons, and see if there is a way that both parties can be pleased while maintaining a degree of both parties original ideas.  Even if we know that our path is proven to be successful, to be the quickest and most direct path to achieve certain results, we still must be able to step away, meet in the gray area and see other options.  If upon seeing these other options we still know that our proven path will provide the quickest, most successful results, then we must be able to show the other person how this is done, not to prove them wrong, but to show them how our path is a little shorter than theirs and to show them the benefit of adhering to our path.  If they are flexible, they will understand our point of view and move forward.   The easiest way to achieve results, whether it is being flexible or inflexible, is to remain positive, understanding, and compassionate.  Negativity will only push others away and we will be left standing in the gray area by ourselves.

I think the correlation between attitude and flexibility is pretty plain to see.  The more we can remain positive and keep a positive attitude, then the more we will be successful whether we are required to be flexible or inflexible.  Attitude plays the most important role in our lives, both personal and professional and by far we have more control over our attitude than anything else.  Its not always easy to maintain a positive attitude, especially when we are surrounded by negative people, but if we can figure out a way of doing so, we will get farther in life.  If we can maintain that positive attitude, it will be easier to meet in the gray area whether a situation requires flexibility or inflexibility, it will be easier to deal with.  If this cold woman that I saw and minutely interacted with had simply been positive, smiled, and discussed where she was coming from, much more would have gotten done.  As it was, her distinct inflexibility and inability to explain her position made it so that there really wasn't any discussion.  It was her way or the highway so to speak.  We would all do well to inspect our attitudes today and see if they are truly positive or if they need a little tweaking.  On the same not, how flexible are we on a daily basis?  How often are we able to meet others in the middle and discuss things?  Lets all improve ourselves and by doing so improve others around us.