If you scroll through Facebook these days or any online social site for that matter, it seems that half of the posts on there are about people's children, their achievements, or pictures of their children. To me, I see proud parents who want to share with the world their child's life, their little achievements as they grow up, their Halloween costumes, even the messes they make that are sometimes too cute to get upset at. As a self proclaimed realist, I also see the darker side of things and the negative impact that portraying a child's life on the Internet could have. In this digital age, when half of the world is online for half of their waking hours, anyone can share a family's experience just by going online and watching videos or viewing pics of a family in action. What used to be reserved for viewing by family and close friends is now available to anyone with an Internet connection and an interest in other people's lives. The bottom line is, we will never know everyone who views these pictures and videos, probably more than half will have absolutely no impact on a family's life whatsoever, yet they are able to share in the growth of a family. Does that not bother people? To have complete strangers view pictures and videos of their children, regardless of the content, seems a little too open to me. We can't know the intent that others have when they surf the Internet and we have no control over our content once it is out there.
It may seem like I am a little neurotic when it comes to life on the Internet, but maybe I am just a little old fashioned. Don't get me wrong, Facebook is a wonderful tool for connecting with lost friends, relatives, and classmates. However, despite the benefits of Facebook, I feel that on some levels it has usurped our ability to personally interact with others on a meaningful level. Enter children. Before young children even know what the Internet is, their parents are essentially creating an online life for them. They have no control over this life, no opportunity to manage the content that is being shared online, and ultimately when they grow up, they find this life waiting for them whether they like it or not. I find that it is a little presumptuous to create this life, to portray only what we think is important in our child's life. Granted, a version of this has been done for decades with home videos and picture albums, but the Internet has taken it beyond the personal level and made it universal with the ability for others to comment on the pictures and videos. This last step is where I have the problem. What ever happened to the sanctity of the family. It seems like a definition of a family must now include all those who we are friends with online. To me, this in part robs a family of their personal time together and their intimate connections they forge with their children. By utilizing the Internet so frequently, it also robs the children of time that could be spent with their parents.
So how does all this differ from what I am doing here? Before my child is even born, I have already been talking about her or him. I have already portrayed my emotions and feelings about being a father and let the world have access to them. But to me, I am not creating an online life for my child. When my child is born, I will talk about what my child means to me and how her or his achievements affect me and the pride that I have in them. What I will not do is let the world have access to her or his name or any pictures of him or her. My child's name will only be shared with family and friends offline and only if I have regular contact with them. Additionally, there will no pictures for people to see unless they personally know me and then they can see those pictures at my house. Call me cynical, call me antiquated, call me what you will, but I will not create a life of pictures and videos for my child online. When my child is old enough, he or she can go online and create their own online life for themselves, but it will not be at my hand. People may say, but what is the difference between writing about your child's life versus portraying that life in pictures and video. To me the difference is that you may have an understanding of what my child does, but unless you know me personally, you would never be able to pick my child out in a crowd. But enough about all this, my child will arrive shortly (only weeks away, or tomorrow, we never know), and that child will have all of my and my wife's love (and none from online strangers).
So how does all this differ from what I am doing here? Before my child is even born, I have already been talking about her or him. I have already portrayed my emotions and feelings about being a father and let the world have access to them. But to me, I am not creating an online life for my child. When my child is born, I will talk about what my child means to me and how her or his achievements affect me and the pride that I have in them. What I will not do is let the world have access to her or his name or any pictures of him or her. My child's name will only be shared with family and friends offline and only if I have regular contact with them. Additionally, there will no pictures for people to see unless they personally know me and then they can see those pictures at my house. Call me cynical, call me antiquated, call me what you will, but I will not create a life of pictures and videos for my child online. When my child is old enough, he or she can go online and create their own online life for themselves, but it will not be at my hand. People may say, but what is the difference between writing about your child's life versus portraying that life in pictures and video. To me the difference is that you may have an understanding of what my child does, but unless you know me personally, you would never be able to pick my child out in a crowd. But enough about all this, my child will arrive shortly (only weeks away, or tomorrow, we never know), and that child will have all of my and my wife's love (and none from online strangers).
I was wondering if you have discussed this with your wife (me), your family and those that are on facebook that will have access to OUR child. Although I see your point, I do not think that it is realistic to think that our child's picture will not be on facebook or the internet in some fashion. We have family that is all over the country and we will need to share our joys with them. Our parents and close relatives could post pictures too and you cannot stop them from doing so. Again I see your point, but I think you need to look at this subject as an outsider or a close family member.
ReplyDelete