I have talked about appreciation before, but at the time kept it confined mostly to friends and family. I feel however, that appreciation must go beyond friends and family to those we interact with on a daily basis. How many of us have taken a few extra seconds in our daily interactions with others to sincerely thank them for what they did for us or maybe even for what they do? Thank you, it seems, is a phrase that is either rarely used, or used in such an offhanded way as to make it almost pointless. Even for myself, there are many times that I throw out the phrase as I am turning away from someone, heading to the door, or I simply use it because it was what I was taught to do. How many of us, when saying "thank you" actually look the other person in the eye and mean what we are saying? I would have to argue that most people either don't mean it when they say "thank you" or they don't say it at all. So why is it so important? Why must we say thank you at all and show our appreciation for other's efforts? Beyond the simple fact that it is the nice thing to do and it has become an indicator of human decency, when we say "thank you", it validates the other person and their actions whether it is their job or simply an act of kindness. Validating and appreciating others is the way in which we affirm the good in them and what they have done. Going beyond simply validating their actions, by saying "thank you", we offer a reason for them to continue to do what they do and perpetuate their "good".
Think about it for a minute as I offer you a very simple example. Let's say that you are in the habit of opening doors for others regardless of their gender, age, or ethnicity (we were all told when we were younger to hold the door open for women). If you did this every day say five times a day and no one acknowledged your actions, said thank you, or even glanced your way; would you continue to hold the door open for others? Most people probably would for a certain amount of time, but if there was any continuity of non-acknowledgement, you would be less likely to hold open that door as time went on. It goes to the basis of what we do; why do something if no one notices that you do it? Granted, we should still hold that door open even if no one says "thank you", but it forces us to begin questioning why we do it. You can take this and apply it to almost every activity, however large or small, important or not, and it plays directly into the human psyche. I am sure that most of us have run into that disgruntled worker at a store who has a miserable look on their face and simply goes through the motions of their job in order to get their pay check. How many of us, when interacting with them, go out of our way to make them feel wanted by saying thank you? Trust me, its not easy to do. I know when I see that disgruntled person, I want to shut down because I don't want their countenance to rub off on me and turn my day sour. But what if we took that extra minute to say thank you while looking them in the eye. We could have the reverse effect and maybe turn their day around for them. There are no one way streets in life (unless you are driving in a city). Everything that we do on a daily basis, every interaction we have, goes both ways. Once we start to see this, recognize it, and move forward with the understanding that we can have as much of an effect on others as they have on us, we can use it to create some good in our daily lives.
Everyday life is more than who we are as individuals. There seem to be more and more people these days who focus their entire day around themselves and disregard everyone else around them. In a world that is increasingly interconnected, we can not simply live insulated lives, void of meaningful human interaction. We could, but to what effect? If we live an insulated life and don't take the time to interact in a meaningful way with those around us, what is the point? I would argue that the only way we can truly live is to appreciate others outside our normal circle of family and friends. The only way we can truly make a difference is to validate others and their existence. It is not simply about saying "thank you"; that is only the tip of the iceberg. To truly validate others and show appreciating for them is to engage with them. What is so hard about asking how someone's day is going? I try to do this on a daily basis with whoever I run into. The effects are often surprising. More often than not, the person I ask the question of is surprised that a stranger would ask them that. Why would a stranger ask them that? Why would I bother? Mostly because I want to bring them out of their little world for a minute and show them that people do care. But its not simply that, I do it simply because I want to. Human interaction for me is vital to life, and if I can get people to engage with me for a few minutes out of their day, then we have both gained something. Today I offer a challenge to anyone reading this; at some point today wherever you are, engage with a stranger and ask them how their day is going. Don't worry that it might take up some of your time, just do it. See what happens. If we can all engage with others on a daily basis, perhaps we can show them the benefit of such actions and they might engage with others themselves. Just a little challenge, nothing hard, just do it.
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