Raising an Open Child

It seems that with the birth of our son, everything I view, witness, take part in, observe; all take on aspects of how I would like to raise our son and what I would like to teach him.  I believe it was the morning that my wife went into labor that I wrote about unemployment benefits.  I thought I had expressed sympathy for those without jobs and their families and wouldn't wish unemployment on anyone.  However, I also said that for our government to keep on extending benefits was unjustified and in effect was perpetuating our economic problem.  So how does this tie into my son and how I want him raised?  Well, after I posted the blog on Facebook, I got quite a negative reaction to it from a reader.  She is unemployed and put quite simply, not happy with the fact that I didn't want the government to extend more benefits to her.  She railed against me, calling me amongst other things an idiot and an a#$hole wondering the whole time what planet I came from.  To me, she responded in total ignorance, taking into account only her situation and how only her life really mattered (so it seemed).  We had a brief online "conversation" if you can call it that which resulted in her defriending me.  It boggles my mind that sometimes when I write, people are unable or unwilling to see the whole picture.   Ultimately, it all boils down to the fact that I want to raise our son to be able to see the whole picture, to not be ignorant of others needs, desires, wishes, ideas, and thoughts as this one woman was.  (To see the conversation, go to my Facebook page and scroll down).

I feel that it is more important now than ever before for people to be open and accepting of different thoughts and ideas.  Personally, if I say something here that people don't agree with, I would love it for them to engage in discussion and show me their side so I can understand it better.  I will be the first to admit that I don't know everything and a lot of the things I write are based upon my personal feelings, philosophy, and thoughts about the world.  Not everyone shares these thoughts, but if no one shows me another alternative, then how am I supposed to be enlightened to a different point of view and expand my understanding.  If only that woman on Facebook had reacted differently, started a discussion instead of lashing out, then perhaps we both could have reached a different level of understanding.  This is what I want our son to learn, to engage with others instead of shutting down, to open up and seek to understand instead of slamming down a brick wall of ignorance.  Is this an easy thing to teach, absolutely not.  As an opinionated person myself, I still find it difficult at times to actively listen to others in an attempt to understand their point of view.  I think that this may be one of the hardest lessons that anyone can learn in life.  Owning our opinions, we are naturally more attached to them and find it harder to have them challenged.  However, the only way we can grow as people is to have our opinions challenged and discuss them with others.  This in a sense goes back to our comfort zone and how we react to being prodded out of it. 

I know that the best way to teach anyone a lesson is by example and I must constantly strive to be that example to our son.  I know I will flounder along the way as I am sure every parent does at some point.  The most important thing however is to recognize it and grow from it, showing our son that nobody is perfect and that people make mistakes.  As long as we learn from those mistakes, show our son how he can grow from his own mistakes, then everything will turn out OK.  Being opinionated in its own right is not a bad thing, its when it starts to have a negative effect on others and shut them out of our lives that it becomes harmful.  I can only hope that our son does not grow up to be like that woman on Facebook.  Ignorance is the root of many problems we are facing today in our world, country, and in a large part our own cities and towns.  How can we combat that?  While I think that it is never too late to change, there are many people out there that no matter how much you show them the benefit of changing, they never will.  Most people won't change the way they are, especially if they are already ignorant.  The way to change things now is by teaching our children to not be ignorant but to be accepting and open.  If that is the only thing that I teach our child, then I will feel like I have been a success.  If our son is open and accepting, then most other things will fall into place (with the help of his parents).  Today, my only wish is for more people to let down their guard, listen to others, and entertain more than one point of view.