I consider myself blessed to know many different people in all different walks of life. Even before my son was born, I was getting little insights into what life would be like, how it would change my perspective on life, and what it actually means to be a parent. I must say that before my son was born, I absorbed it all, stored it away for use at a later time, but didn't really understand what people were talking about. I was told that having a child doesn't mean going out of your way to make your life accommodate theirs, they fit into your life, your rhythm, and how you live. While I have yet to see that happen, especially with an infant who likes to eat, poop, pee, and sleep whenever he wants, I can now see a little more clearly what that friend was talking about. Its more about living my life to the best of my ability and showing my son what life is about. Will accommodations be made? I'm sure they will, but only insofar as they benefit the growth of our son. Another friend told me that having a child makes you realize all the things your parents did for you that you never even knew about. When I heard this before my son was born, I kind of understood the concept, but now that our son is here, it becomes perfectly clear what my friend was talking about.
Its all those little things like creeping into our son's room at night to make sure nothing is wrong. Its walking by his napper during the day to tuck in the blanket a little tighter and make sure that he is warm enough. Its getting the eye boogers out while he is sleeping. Its comforting him when he is fidgety and doesn't know what to do or what is wrong. This is only the tip of the realizations that have come to light and its only been two weeks. As children and even as young adults, we never truly realize what our parents went through to raise us until we have to raise our own children. Even then, I am sure that there are parents out there who are oblivious to the continuity of parenting as it passes from generation to generation. Realizing the similarities of what we go through versus what our parents went through helps put everything in perspective and gives us new appreciation for what our parents did. Even at two weeks old, our son is starting to lift his head on his own from being on his belly, and as my wife looked on with me, she commented that he is growing up too fast already. Time flies. Its been two weeks yet it seems like yesterday that we were coming home from the hospital with him. Yet while he may be growing up quickly, I am cheering him on in my head. And I know what parents would say to me, "Its only been two weeks, just wait, it will fly by even quicker." I have no doubt about that.
I have another friend, almost 60, who loves to impart his wise words to me whenever he sees me. He has been constantly telling me since he found out that my wife was pregnant what an amazing journey we are about to depart on with the birth of our son. I couldn't agree more. Even through my wife's pregnancy, watching our son grow inside of her, was an amazing experience. To think that we created this life, brought him into the world, and now get to watch him grow and teach him, goes beyond what words can convey. My friend also told me, having watched his own children grow up, move out, and get married; that every moment is precious and not to give anything away. "Cherish every moment you have with your son." He also told me its amazing how quickly time passes and to him it seemed like only yesterday that he was ushering his son and daughter into this world. While I can not see things entirely from his perspective, I understand what he means. He is at a point where he is now watching me embark on a journey that for him is winding down only in the sense that his children no longer live at home. He remembers vividly what he went through and to now see us going through the same thing is amazing to him. Its a matter of watching generations pass, grow up, get older, and usher in new generations. I can only now get a glimpse of what it might be like for grandparents. To see their children grow up from being infants, and then give birth to their own son must be such a gratifying moment, one filled with joy and excitement. To know that in the end, all their efforts, however misguided they might have seemed at the time, were worth it and helped to form a child into a man who then embarks on a journey they are winding down from. I will not know all those feelings until I am in those shoes myself, but I can see how wonderful it is.
Some people say that life is not just about having children and perpetuating families. I agree with them in part, but at the same time, when you have a child, there is a sense of life coming full circle, of becoming more complete. I know it may sound like I have been waiting all my life to have a child, but trust me, I have not. It is not until you actually step into those shoes, hold that infant in your arms, and start to realize how life progresses that you feel the difference. No matter how many times people told me that having a child would drastically change things, I never completely understood. It is not just the fact that I am now responsible for a life, it is more about realizing how much more life is than us as individuals. Whatever we do is largely insignificant in the overall scheme of things. That's not to say that what we do does not hold degrees of importance temporally, but its more to say that life is more than who we are as individuals. While it is essential to gain an understanding of who we are, it is more important to be there for others, our children, our friends, our family. This may all sound confusing, but its probably because I am still working through it all. I guess what I am trying to say is that having a child changes things from perspectives to realizations to how we interact with others. The core of who we are remains the same, but there is added significance to what we do, how we act, and how we proceed through life. It is no longer just us, it is us and a new generation, our son, who will follow us wherever we lead him, and grow by the example that we set. Everything comes full circle in the end. Right now I am in the middle, watching and living the curve.
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