"Meet the Fockers" Teaching Moment

A few weeks ago, as I was laying on the couch, sick as a 14 year old dog with measles, the movie "Meet the Fockers" came on.  I had seen the first movie, "Meet the Parents", a while ago, but had never gotten around to seeing the second one.  I found it to be hilarious.  It was a wonderful clash of cultures, parenting styles, and almost everything else that you could imagine.  Yet, despite laughing my sick butt off on the couch throughout the movie, there was one moment, that while hilarious, was also a stark reality of the way children learn.  Repetition.  There is a point in the movie where Ben Stiller's character is left to watch a young child, between the ages of 1 and 2, by himself.  He is given specific instructions on how to handle the child, and yet, he manages to screw everything up, at one point uttering "ass hole" directly in front of the child.  The boy, previously unable to talk, decides that those two words will be his first and in drawn out rendition, looks right back at Stiller and says, "ass hoooooooole".  I couldn't stop laughing.  I think part of what kept me laughing is the fact that I have a son, probably a little bit older than the boy in the movie, who now repeats almost everything you say.  It may not be repeated right away, but it will get repeated at some point.  A perfect example of that is an incident that happened over the last few days.  As my wife has been home watching our daughter, I have been taking our son to daycare in the mornings.  On the way there, he loves to point out different trucks, buses, and excavators at work sites.  So in the spirit of conversation, I decided to start pointing out the different colored signs that line the side of the road as well as the traffic lights.  Whenever we would come to a red light, I would point it out and say, "Red light means stop."  Then, when it turned green, I would say, "Green light means go."  Innocuous really, and I just figured I would get the jump on driver training when he is super young, but it turned poignant when I came home from work the other day and my wife asked me if I had pointed out the traffic lights to our son.  "Of course I had", I told her, "why?"  It turns out that as my wife was driving him home, she stopped at a red light and then as soon as it turned green, our son said, "Mommy, green light go."  While this is an innocent example, it just proves how careful we need to be as parents with what we say around impressionable young children.  So, while "Meet the Fockers" is a true comedy, it does come with some moments that almost every parent can identify with as tangible and taken right from reality, however it is twisted for a movie's plot line.  Our son repeats almost everything.  Some of the funnier ones are when I am getting him up stairs for bed and say, "Chop chop, lets go."  He will repeat it verbatim including his own name in the statement as well.  He even tries to mimic my whistle that I use for calling the dogs although right now he is just blowing air through his mouth.  While its precious, it also keeps me on my toes because I know if I slip up even once now, and utter a "less than favorable" word, he will repeat it and probably use it at the worst possible time, like when we are in church and everyone is quiet.  (Don't worry, that hasn't happened yet, but I can see it potentially happening.) 

Will They Get Along?

I would have to say one of my biggest concerns that came up in the month of January regarding the birth of our daughter had nothing to do with the actual birth, but rather how our son would react to having a new addition to our family.  I didn't have much of a frame of reference to go from as my brother and I are 7 years apart, almost a lifetime when you are that young.  With my son and daughter, the distance separating them will be about 2.25 years.  We had done as much as we could to prepare him for the eventuality of having a younger sibling, but how much could we really do when he is only 2.25 years old and can't fully comprehend the full impact that having a younger sibling will have on his life?  We read books about being a big brother to him, we talked to him daily about being a big brother and how we would need his help, and every night before bed, we asked him to kiss the baby in my wife's womb.  Some days he would say he was excited to be a big brother, some days he would say he wasn't.  And yet, every night before bed, he would still kiss his younger sibling good night, before she was even born.   The whirlwind of my wife giving birth two weeks early caught us all by storm, including our son.  Yet, despite being swooped up by his grandmother from our house the night before my wife gave birth, he did remarkably well.  His potty training went out the window for a week, but as we are starting to get back to normal, so is his pottying ability, at least part of it.  When we were in the hospital, he with his grandma to visit two days in a row and each day was excited to give his younger sister a kiss.  All in all, I think his fascination of having such a small child around trumps any ill will he may be feeling.  A week into our new life, his first stop upon coming down in the morning is to check on his little sister in her napper and make sure she is there.  Even when my wife went to pick him up at daycare yesterday, his first question was "Baby sister at home?"  It wasn't "Hi Mommy" or anything like that, it was to ask about his sister.  There still is a little tension, especially when I go to pick up my daughter and hold her.  You see, most of our daughter's time right now is spent with my wife, eating, being held, and of course, sleeping.   I have been running around, taking care of our son while we are all at home, and haven't had as much time with our daughter as I have with my son.  Yet, despite the fact that he doesn't want me to hold our daughter all the time, once I explain it to him, he settles down and moves on...most of the time.  I know there will be some sticking points, especially since he is approaching the terrible age of 2 and a half, the age where every response begins with "no" and upon further consideration might possibly change to "yes".  But for now, he is adjusting well.  I honestly feel that if he had a younger brother, he might be having a little bit harder time adjusting.   And there is always the fact that his little sister can't do too much to interfere with his way of life right now as she is essentially a lovable, breathing, eating, and pooping lump of flesh in human form.  I love her to death, I just don't love this first stage of life.  But anyway, both of my children hold equal spots in my heart and I will do my best to make sure that neither is more loved than the other, but rather that they are loved equally and I would do anything for both of them (within reason obviously).

A New Reality

January came and went and here I have a new baby girl, a new addition to my family.  It was a week ago today that my wife and I were getting ready for our trip to the hospital, the only thing holding us up were the contractions that didn't want to start immediately after her water broke last Sunday night.  We both thought that we had at least another week before she went into labor, at most another two when her actual due date was.  Yet, that wasn't what was in store for us.  Rather, for whatever reason, (perhaps my hurried trip through Costco that incidentally made my wife walk a little too fast), my wife became one of the roughly 10% of women who have their water break before they go into labor.  Oh joy.  Once again, something we weren't expecting.  Luckily for us, my wife has a group of doctor's and midwives who are more lax than most when it comes to rushing along a pregnancy.  After her water broke, they told her to just wait at least 24 hours before calling in.  Well, we went in the morning after her water broke just to make sure things were OK, which they were, and after which we went home to wait it out.  Then came the flurry of activity to get things in order.  Call my parents to grab our son and watch him for a few days, get our bags by the door and ready to go, and then wait.  So maybe not quite the flurry of activity I alluded to, but still, we didn't know what to expect or what was going to happen.  The only thing we knew was that we wanted to the contractions to start so that we didn't get any flack from her doctors.  Sure enough, Monday evening, the contractions started and we waited till the last possible moment, about 11:30 at night, before heading to the hospital.  For those women out there who haven't had their water break before labor, it sucks as there isn't that cushion of water to help soften the contractions.  The labor is much harder.  But after about 8 hours in the hospital, our new daughter came flying out, almost literally.  In fact, she came so quickly that the midwife and nurser didn't even have everything ready.  It was a short flurry of activity as when our daughter's head came out, her umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck with her right hand shoved against her face.  They tried telling my wife to hold on, but for any woman who as given birth, you know that it is easier said than done.  They worked quickly, I rushed them along, and within a minute our daughter was free and breathing.  Being two weeks earlier than her due date, she was only 6 lbs, 9 ounces, and yet, she was only an inch shorter than her brother's 21 inches at birth.  There were a number of people who had guessed correctly that my wife was carrying a daughter (we didn't know until she came out) and I was not one of those who guessed correctly.  Just two days before my wife's water broke, I had a dream that it was a boy.  Boy was I wrong (yes, pun intended).  So now life has taken a turn for the crazier, and yet, the it doesn't seem that bad.  Our son is adjusting well, and despite the fact that I have a lot more to take care of around the house, I'm making it work.  It just what I have to do and quite frankly, its not stressing me out at all.  I have a healthy wife, daughter, and son, and I couldn't be happier.  Life will work itself out, and for now, its going smoothly.  I'm sure it won't always stay this way, but for now, its good.  Of course, this past week held now work for me as I was home helping out, so today will be the real test as I head back to work.  More on our amazing daughter and son tomorrow, hopefully.  But for now, my family is up and I must get to work around the house getting things moving. 

OMG, the PV

Yes, I did just essentially title my blog in acronyms, and while most people will readily understand what OMG stands for, PV has some room for interpretation.   It could stand for Private Video, Potential Visitor, Prospecting Voraciously...I could go on.   But none of these are what PV actually stands for.  Rather, PV stands for Polar Vortex, that seemingly newly named phenomenon that is currently blasting the majority of our country with strong winds and bitterly cold temperatures.  Its not just the cold temperatures, those most of us can live with, its the wind chills that are biting in, bearing down, and setting records in a number of places.  I would name those places, but frankly, I don't feel like looking them up right now, I just know that I saw that records were broken yesterday in a number of places.  Yesterday was actually quite warm where I live in the North East.  We got a bunch of rain which melted almost all the snow from late last week and the temperature hovered around 50 degrees.  Practically balmy out there.  Then the rain stopped and the temperature dropped and at this point I want to keep on rhyming but won't.  I was thinking about the term "polar vortex" this morning as I was experiencing the wind chills of -8 degrees first hand at 4 A.M. on my walk with the dogs.  They were cold, I was bundled up and still felt the bite, and it crossed my mind that a vortex is one of two things; either a powerful circular current of water or the shape of something rotating rapidly.  The first definition, as I thought about it is definitely off the mark.  If there was a powerful circular current of water and it was deemed "polar" in nature, wouldn't that inherently indicate that it was frozen?  And if it was frozen, how could it be a powerful circular current of water.  It would be more like a monument that one could view at one's leisure rather than a weather phenomenon that is being used to explain this current blast of cold air.  The other definition, might work, however if something is rotating rapidly enough to have an effect on almost the entire United States, you would think that the population living closest would be absolutely decimated.  Regardless, I think that the term is merely something conjured up by meteorologists to instill a sense of dread or overwhelming distress.  All we need to know is that its cold, and if you go outside and stay out there for an extended period of time, you better damn well be prepared for it or you will suffer the consequences.  As for my walk, it was a half hour, I survived, it was invigorating, and frankly, the cold (as long as I am bundled up and ready for it) makes me feel more alive than any amount of heat and humidity ever will.  Bring on the cold, I love it, and I still don't wish I was in Florida with whatever temperatures they have down there Bryan Shaw.