Impressed I Am

This past Easter weekend, our son and daughter thoroughly impressed me with their behavior.  The first occurrence was on Good Friday.  As is our family tradition at this point, we attended the afternoon service at our church on Good Friday after which we went out to an early dinner with my parents and my brother and fiancee.   Throughout the week, we were questioning whether it would be a good idea to go out to dinner as our dinner reservations were set for "witching hour", that glorious time that almost every parent experiences where their kids go haywire.  Our daughter, for the whole week leading up to Good Friday had staged a freak out session every day at 5:30 almost on the nose.  To top it off, Friday morning saw our son being a complete mess.  He was tired, cranky, and had fits of crying for no apparent reason.   It got to the point that we questioned whether or not we should even go to the service, but figured we would play it by ear and make the call after he woke up.  Well, it seemed a nap was all he needed and we decided to go.  He behaved well throughout the service and afterwards, we decided to take a chance at dinner and see how it all turned out.  Well, what was expected to be a trying experience by me turned out to be a pleasant dinner with family.  Our son was actually a joy to have at the dinner table and turned out to be very helpful.  He loves his bread so he started out with rolls and then moved on to his sweet potato fries.  There was nothing else that he like, so that's all he had, and was perfectly fine with it.  He even drank his water out of one of the nice glasses that they had at the table, no issues, and all at 2.5 years old.   One thing that was a little funny that he did was after finishing every roll was he would hand his plate to the server when they came around.   He ended up going through half the bread plates at the table, but it was well worth it.   What most impressed me throughout the meal was that he sat there nicely, never acted out, always listened, and we actually got to enjoy a nice dinner at a nice restaurant.  And our daughter, while only 3 months old, was wonderful as well.  We brought her stroller in to the restaurant and were able to rock her as we ate so there was no freak out session on her part and everyone was happy.  So Good Friday was a success.  Then came Easter Sunday. 

 

Easter Sunday was a good day.  Most importantly, we got to spend the entire day with family, including my grandparents who made it to church in the morning and then stayed pretty much the entire day at my parents house, which is a rarity for them.  Our daughter did what she did which was behave pretty well, napped when she needed to, and that was pretty much it.  I must say, she definitely seems to have a more peaceful disposition than our son did at her age.   In any case, what most impressed me about Easter Sunday was just something our son did during dinner in the afternoon.  He wasn't really in the mood to eat so I asked if he wanted to get down and play, to which of course he said, yes.  I don't know what I was expecting, but I didn't expect our son to just go into my parents living room and quietly play with his toys, which is what he did.  We could hear him talking to himself periodically, but other than that, the only sound coming out of that room was the sound of toys.   I was happy with the outcome.  It was nice to see that my wife and I are obviously doing something right when our son can go and play by himself without a TV or iPhone for entertainment and be perfectly content.  That is just who he is.  Also during our afternoon dinner, we suddenly hear the back door open.  I hadn't seen anyone go towards the back door and when my wife came into the dining room, I knew it must be our son who managed to open the back door and let himself out onto my parents deck.  He is an unstoppable machine.  It doesn't take him long to figure something out and when he does, he wants to repeat that action over and over and over again.  The other day, my wife and I saw him sitting in our large kitchen cabinet, slowly opening and closing the door, staring at the hinge.  It is one of those complex hinges that allow the door to open 170 degrees and he just sat there and watched how it worked.  It was really cool to watch.  I must say, our son is getting to a most spectacular age, where curiosity is rampant and the possibilities of what he can learn are endless.  I absolutely love it.  And while I love our daughter just as much as our son (her personality is starting to shine), I can't wait for to get a little bit older so she can start interacting more with us. 

Growing Up Fast

Having children a little over two years apart has shown me just how quickly time flies.  A little over two years ago, I was going through seeing my son grow from this little lump of baby flesh into a toddler who gets into everything and has the tenacity and persistence to tackle anything he sets his mind to.  Now, I look at our daughter who is going through the same stage our son went through and it amazes me how quickly they go from this little breathing lump of nothing that eats, shits, and cries to a little person who can communicate with you, make you smile, laugh, and push every button they know how to.   They say that there is a big difference between boys and girls when they are younger and growing up.  Boys tend to be on the crazier side, full of energy, bouncing off the walls, and always darting back and forth between one activity and the next while girls are more apt to be calmer and more likely to go color in a corner by themselves.   I personally can't speak to that difference yet, but in ways, I am glad we had a girl as our second child, if only to ease the craziness of the first few years of life.  That is in no way saying that I would trade any second of our son's craziness, its just nice to think that when our daughter reaches the age that our son is now, perhaps things will be a little quieter and different.  I am sure I will be amazed regardless of how our daughter grows up, but for now, she is just working on holding her head steady.  (Which by the way she is doing really well now).  Our son, on the other hand has turned into quite the helper, and also the adventurous go-getter who will figure out almost anything he wants to get himself involved in.  This past week, I parked my Jeep Wrangler inside the fence that closes in our backyard.  Well, my Jeep for, last week at least, became our son's jungle gym.  Being a Jeep, there is very little damage he can actually do to the inside of it, and as such, we let our son run wild through it.  Every day after daycare all he wanted to do was to play in the Jeep.  He figured out how to open the Jeep door (just within his reach) and how to pull himself in, by getting a leg over the lip of the door and grabbing on to the steering wheel to pull himself up.   Conversely, to get out, he held on to the steering wheel and let himself slide down on to the pavement.  He did this over and over and over again in an effort to master it and I am sure to cement the fact that I will let him drive the Jeep at some point (which I probably will if it is still around in 10 years).  All kitchen cabinets, despite a good child lock, have become fair game for our son.  He has figure out how to unlock them himself and let himself into everything.  Luckily for us, he likes to focus on the cabinet that holds all our pots and pans.  He gets in there, re-arranges everything, and sometimes just takes everything out so he can make his new bed in there.  And there is no keeping our son indoors unless we lock the deadbolt.  Lastly, (for today at least) and I actually kind of like this last one, is that we let our son go up to his room on his own to play.  He has mastered the steep stairs in our house and loves to go re-arrange his room.  He is getting to the point where he can largely occupy himself and is developing a little sense of who he is.  As time passes, I know it will only get more interesting as our daughter becomes more agile, starts sitting, crawling, and walking, and begins a life of personal interaction with her older brother.  I just hope it stays as good as it is right now between the two of them. 

The Kaufman's; Foolish or Not?

So if I understand the article I read this morning correctly, there is a huge debate raging over this family from California that decided to take their young children on a sailboat trip from Mexico to New Zealand and half way through needed to be rescued.  It was supposed to be a month long trip and two weeks in, their one year old daughter fell ill and their boat lost steering capability.  They were rescued successfully and are now en route on a Navy ship back to San Diego.  The big debate is not over their trip itself, its about their decision to make the trip with their two children ages 1 and 3.  Many, from what I hear, feel that it was completely irresponsible of the parents to take children that young on such a long and potentially dangerous and deadly trip across the Pacific.  Others feel that they did the right thing by following their passions.  Well, I wouldn't be writing this right now if I didn't have an opinion myself.  I personally feel that in following their passion of making a cross ocean trip with their family, toddlers in tow, they did the right thing.  It seems like they were as prepared as they could be and luck just didn't go their way in the end.  So be it.  Many people are rescued for far stupider things from the ocean and on dry land.  The fact that they had a 1 and 3 year old with them does not bother me at all.  Would I make the trip under similar circumstances?  If I felt that I was prepared and my wife was fully supportive of the trip then yes, I would do the same thing.  I don't feel there is anything wrong with what the Kaufman family did.  Why do I teach my son at the age of two how to use a sharp bread knife or let him climb a ladder or sit him on top of my six foot fence so that he can get a better view of the world?  Because I don't feel the need to shelter him from every possible accident that could happen.  Do I let him use the bread knife alone without help?  No that would be stupid just as letting a 3 year old climb the rigging of sailboat without a life vest would be stupid.  And I am sure the Kaufman's did not let their 3 year old climb the rigging at all.  The fact is, we all have to take risks in this world and if we teach our children how to take those risks early on, with a backup plan in place, then they will be better off in the long run.  So the trip didn't work out so well for the Kaufman's.  That does not give the rest of the United States the right to jump on their backs for taking their children with them on the trip.  How many parents neglect their children at home on dry land and do not get any attention at all from the media?  How many parents beat their children at home and don't get the same kind of media attention?  To me, it is asinine that we are making such a big deal out of this whole thing.  The Kaufman's made a decision, and you know what, if they had made it successfully to New Zealand, we probably would not have heard a damn thing about them.  Why?  Because they would have been successful, that's why.  They are safe and alive, and its now time to move on.  I am sure they learned a lot from the trip and actually had a good time the first two weeks.  Life has its ups and its downs and they unfortunately are now dealing with one of those down times except for the fact that they know they are safe and alive.  The downside?  Dealing with us on the mainland of the United States.  I wish them good luck in navigating the much more dangerous waters of modern media. 

Climbing the Ladder

Two days ago now, I was playing outside with our son upon my arrival home from work, and as the normal course of afternoon play unfolded, it saw us mostly running around the back yard, chasing each other, and at times, me just watching him wander around, pick up sticks and stones, and move them to other parts of the yard.  At some point, he wandered over to our driveway where I had temporarily put my Gorilla ladder (one of those ladders with independently adjustable sides that can be placed on stairs or other uneven surfaces).  Me being the brilliant dad that I am, I thought to myself, what better time than now than to set up this ladder and see what he does.  So I grabbed the ladder with him watching, and set it up so it was a six foot step ladder.  After watching me grab the ladder and set it up with a great deal of curiosity, he went right up to it, hesitantly placed his hands on it, and then started climbing up.  I never told him to climb or anything other than "be careful", he just took it on his own initiative that it needed to be climbed.  Ladders are not a new phenomenon to him, but up until a few days ago, we wouldn't let him get above the first step due to his relative lack of balance.  With his balance greatly improved, I had very little trepidation about his ability to climb the ladder in front of him.  So up he went, a little hesitant at first, looking down, gripping the ladder tightly with his little hands, but up he went, 3 out of the five steps.  He looked around when he got to the top and discovered that there was a much better view of the world when his head was six feet above ground than when he was standing actually on the ground.  He then came down only to immediately climb back up.  He did this a few times, getting more adept with each ascent.  A few times he climbed up to the fourth step, but with less to hold on to, he didn't stay up there long and quickly retreated to the safety of the third step.  He did this over and over and over again, the appeal of climbing daddy's ladder not ceasing for at least 20 minutes.  As much as I wanted to grip his shirt tightly while he climbed (we were standing on pavement after all), I didn't.  I merely kept my hand about 6 inches behind his back, just in case, and let him climb on his own volition.  There were a few times he almost asked for my help, but within seconds, figured out his predicament and resumed his safe climbing.  What surprised me the most was not his ability to climb, I knew that was there, but the safe way in which he did climb. 

 

Watching him climb was almost like watching a safety video by OSHA on how to properly climb a ladder.  He maintained three points of contact at all times (OK, most times) while climbing, and he always ensured his feet and hands were properly placed before proceeding either up or down.  I think the biggest reason that I set up the ladder for him to climb was due to my grandmother, Baba, who had my climbing trees by the age of three.  She had me climbing up trees by myself and from that point on, I had relatively little fear of heights.  I have always had a healthy respect for heights and the dangers they espouse, but never a fear of them unless I place myself in a dangerous situation which I have learned to avoid at all costs.  But that early education on climbing I feel was beneficial to me.  I taught me not to fear heights, it taught me that I could accomplish a feat of climbing on my own, and it gave me confidence to approach other endeavors with zeal.  While I can't force my son to do anything, I can give him the opportunities to push his own boundaries and figure out what he is capable of.  If he ever needs serious help with anything he does, I will be there to help him, but for the most part, I encourage him to figure things out on his own, to become a problem solver, and to persist in whatever he is doing.  I can see the benefits of that already.  Right now, I see it in the simple things that he takes on such as moving a wagon through the back yard, searching for his missing keys, unlocking the kitchen cabinets.  He has a distinct determination and even a little patience, that is hard to find these days.  You can see it in the focused look on his face and in his ability to look at all possibilities before succeeding in whatever he is doing.  Yes, our son is only 2.5 years old right now, but I love every second of watching him grow, learn, and tackle any obstacle in his path.  When he turns three, you can be sure that I will have him in a tree, with me, learning how to climb it, which branches not to hold on to, how to balance your weight over your feet, and how to most importantly enjoy it.