Cooler Weather

I for one am glad that the weather is getting milder.  Yesterday had to have been one of the best exterior painting days in months.  Not that I was actually painting (I was scraping all day), but I was outside for the duration and absolutely loved it.  The only thing that would have made it an all around perfect day would have been if I wasn't working, but such is life.  I can only take so much of the moisture filled air that seems to hang like a soggy blanket, unmoving and nasty.  Just looking back at Monday makes the sweat start to pool under my skin and consider oozing out of my pores.  Monday was the complete opposite of yesterday in that you could hardly move without your skin starting to glisten.  There is something uniquely oppressive about humidity that seems to act like a pause button on life.  It says, "slow down, don't work, its not worth it, why don't you have a beer."  I never listen when it comes to work, however, at home, I am all ears.  While at work, its almost a struggle sometimes when working in the humidity to even move.  It seems like the thick air envelopes you like a straight jacket and tries to restrict every movement you make.  Attempting to climb a ladder, or even lift a paint brush repeatedly can seem like an Olympic feat.  And while I love the sun, I will not miss the humidity at all.  I know that we will probably still have sticky, humid days ahead before we head full steam into autumn, but with the glimpse of cooler weather yesterday, I think I can make it through them. 

Yesterday I took my Jeep down to work as my van was in the shop getting fixed up.  As is normally the case in the summer, I took off the doors to make it as close as possible to a convertible.  Well, with the doors off it felt like I an icebox on the way to work.  The hairs were sticking straight up on my arm, my whole body was mildly shivering, and I absolutely loved it.  I knew I wasn't going to be freezing for too long as the sun was slowly climbing into the sky along with the temperature.  Every so often there was a cool gust of wind that blew through the Jeep, rustling my hair, and making feel truly alive.  If only every day was like yesterday I would be in heaven.  Even when I started working, I found it extremely hard to break a sweat no matter how hard I worked.  Coming up on the afternoon hours, I was sure that it would get warm and sticky at least for a little, but I was surprised and delighted when it stayed relatively cool throughout the day.  Luckily I still have plenty of exterior work left ahead of me so I can enjoy the cooling weather.  It not only benefits me as I can work longer and harder than I can in the humidity, but it also helps with the paint and drying.  I don't have to worry as much if something will dry in the cooler weather vs. the humid weather.  This morning was another good surprise with temperatures in the 50's that almost made me shiver as I was taking my morning walk.  In my mind there is nothing better than a cool morning walk to get the blood flowing and wake you right up (except a cup of coffee that is).  In any case, I can't wait till the humidity is completely gone and fall sets in for a few months. 

Thinking While Talking

I don't know about anyone else, but when I have a conversation with someone, I like that conversation to move along in a meaningful manner.  This especially holds true when I am at work or about to start work.  I got into a certain mode when working where most if not all of my focus is concentrated on getting things done in the most efficient way possible.  Therefore, I do not always pick up my phone while working as it disrupts my flow.  Not only that, it is not always possible for me to pick up the phone while working as I could be in the middle of painting something where I can't really stop.   I like to keep any conversations I have with people during the work day to a minimum so I can get as much done as possible.  Well, enough of an intro into my conversation preferences.  The reason I am writing about this today is due in large part to a job I just started this week.  Its another exterior and will probably take me a little while to get all the work done.  Anyway, as I was about to start work yesterday, the home owner called me.  As it was my second day on the job and he was away on Monday, I felt I had to pick up the phone.  Now, whenever this gentleman calls, I always debate picking up the phone versus letting him just leave me a message.  This man is super nice, always polite, yet he absolutely loves to talk.  When I mean he loves to talk, I mean he loves to talk.  Not that there is a problem with his love of talking, I just don't always have the time to listen to him talk. 

Take yesterday for example.  He was just calling in the morning to make sure I was all set with getting started.  That's it, yet the conversation soon morphed into other things he was thinking of like paint color and what not.  Needless to say, a conversation that should have taken 5 minutes or less stretched to at least 20 minutes.   Yesterday was no anomaly.  I believe almost every conversation I have had with him over the phone has lasted at least 20 minutes if not longer.  For the most part, he does all the talking.  To make a comparison, it is almost like reading a book that was written using a style known as "stream of conscience."  Picture taking almost any book by Jack Kerouac and starting to read it.  Sometimes its tough to know when to stop reading because it just keeps on going and going and going and you don't want to stop in the middle of something good.  Well, that is like this person, he just talks and talks, most times I feel while he is thinking, and it is just a constant stream coming through the phone.  I find it almost impossible to interrupt him and get in a word edgewise.  Its not like he is just talking senselessly, everything he says is related to the overall theme of our conversation, its just over loaded with every detail relating to a certain topic.  Yesterday he was talking about paint color and how he hadn't really figured out the exact hue or sheen and still needed to talk to the company and figure out if he needed the two primer's they recommend or just one and if they could tint them and then depending on the color picked how it will look with the shutters being put on the house versus the roof and the rest of the siding and really making sure that it all comes together and doesn't look too out of place because if the trim is too dark then it might clash with the shutters so lighter might be better but we also have to make sure that it doesn't clash with the roof because otherwise it will get lost and then you won't even notice it.....  Get the point?

In any case, I will see him this morning before he goes to work and I am sure that I will be talking to him for about half an hour before I can actually start working.  To be honest, I am sure that we will be talking about paint color again.  So what do I do with this guy?  I listen, that's it, and sometimes my mind actually starts wandering to other things I have to do during the day.  I did that a few times yesterday while on the phone and I still managed to keep with the conversation and keep track of what he was discussing with me.  I just somehow managed to listen for the key points and disregard the rest of the little details he was sharing.   That's the way this guy operates and I am just going to have to deal with it.  Its not that it bothers me, I just wish sometimes that he got to the point a little quicker and expedited our conversation so we could both get back to work.  Oh well, at least he doesn't work from home or it would probably take me 4 months to get the house painted.  In addition, he works longer days so that's a distinct advantage for me as well.  If I wasn't working on his house, I would have no problem having conversation with him, its just when I want to work, I really want to work and don't want any interruptions.  It is what it is, life is full of interruptions and the best we can do is deal with them as they come along.  Every interruption is an opportunity.  As long as I keep that in mind, everything goes smoothly.  (I just wish he would grow a filter when talking to me). 

When to Bring the Baby Out

There is an opinion section in the NY Times called Room for Debate that often times catches my eye.  The idea of the section is to have a question answered by 5-6 people.  The question today was when and if parents should bring children out to restaurants, bars, or anywhere in general.  Going further, the question ponders whether it is parents being too selfish and wanting to keep up their normal lives or if it is something else altogether that drives them to take their kids everywhere with them.  Now, the question refers more to those children who are out of control and make every head turn when they enter the room, not necessarily the well behaved children who you hardly even notice at the restaurant table with their parents.  The opinions I read never granted a free pass to those parents whose children are absolute devils when brought into public, but they did differ a little on when children should be left at home with a sitter and when they should be brought out.  For my part, I am not going to comment on the opinions I read, but rather offer my own seeing as I have an almost 11 month old son.   On my end, our son has not been to a restaurant or any other place that would require him to sit still for an extended period of time.  After all, he is 10.5 months old, doesn't talk yet, doesn't walk yet, and can't understand the meaning of inside voice and outside voice.  Further, he doesn't have all his teeth yet and as such can't eat the regular food served at a restaurant.  And just to make it clear, I would never bring my son into a bar at any age under 21, I'm just not going to do it. 

Now, that being said, it is necessary to bring children out into public.  I'm not talking just about the every day outings which are necessary, but also those outings that end up in a restaurant with food being served.  I have a feeling that this is probably one of the most stressful times that a parent can have; bringing their child to a restaurant for the first time.  There must be a certain amount of trepidation and anxiety going into a situation where you are surrounded by other people trying to enjoy some nice food and conversation without a screaming child nearby.  Yet, all parents must bring their children to restaurants at some point, if not for the food, at least to teach them manners.  I for one wouldn't bring my son to a restaurant until he understood at least the basics of right vs. wrong and had learned how to act politely.  Now, I know that children love nothing more than to test their parents.  So I am sure that when I do believe it is time to head to a restaurant for dinner, he will pick that night to try pushing the limits, I just know it.  What makes a restaurant trip with kids successful in my mind is how the parents react when their children either throw a tantrum, start screaming at the top of their lungs, or decide dinner time is a perfect time to play tag in a crowded restaurant.  It seems that a growing number of parents seem to not care what their child is doing and lack the fortitude to discipline their child.  Its unfortunate because it gives parents with children a bad name in restaurants and makes the servers wary about coming over lest a soggy french fry be thrown their way.  So how would I react if my son decided dinner time at a restaurant was the perfect time to go batty?  I would do what my parents did.

I don't remember the story specifically because I was too young at the time, but my parents have told me of what they did when I was younger.  It seems that I wanted to test the limits one time when my parents took my out to a restaurant.  I don't remember what I did, but I am sure that I either acted out, started to throw a tantrum, or something along those lines.  When I wouldn't stop at my parents behest, they warned me that if I continued, my dad was going to take me to the car and my mother was going to finish dinner by herself.  Well, I acted out again and that's exactly what happened.  I spent the rest of dinner with my dad in the car while my mom ate hers in the restaurant.   Guess what, I never acted out again and my parents had no more issues with me at a restaurant.  Was it easy on their part to simply scoop me up and take me out, denying me dinner at a restaurant?  I guarantee it wasn't, but that was their job, to teach me how to act properly in a restaurant.  Frankly, I wouldn't be writing about this right now if more parents actually did the job of parents.  But alas, the world is full of good and bad parents and unfortunately, the one's who miss the mark seem to be gaining numbers.  All the good parents can do is continue as they have and hope that their children will follow in their footsteps when it comes time to raise their own children.  For now, I will continue to enjoy dinners at home with my wife, especially since our son goes to bed at 530 and going out to dinner wouldn't really be an option right now anyway. 

Protest Observers

There has been a serious uptick in protests over the past year in Chile, most notably in Santiago.  Almost every country goes through phases where the government oversteps their bounds or doesn't do enough and as a result, people gather together to protest the actions or non-actions.  Similarly, as in most countries, police have a tendency to overstep their bounds from time to time and go a little overboard.   Just look at the protest on a college campus in California last year where a police officer was photographed spraying a group of students, sitting in a circle, with pepper spray.  It doesn't matter where one lives, being a police officer comes with a sense of power, and as we all know, power can be addictive and destructive.  So what is different about Chile?   Well, it seems that Chile's police force has gone a little too far overboard.  As a result, regular citizens have taken it upon themselves to monitor the police during any protest staged now.  They wear safety helmets, vests, and identification.  Their sole purpose during protests is to watch the police, take down officers names, plate numbers off of cars, and take pictures, videos, and notes.  All that information is utilized to ensure that protesters are not treated unfairly and that if they are, they actually have legal backing to rectify any situation.  In some cases, the police have seriously crossed the line and entered into the realm considered torture.  These observers serve a vital role in protecting their fellow citizens and to me, it sounds like a fantastic idea.  What better way to hold the police accountable than to have observers watch their every move. 

These observers are neutral when it comes to the protests.  They take no action against the police and in turn, do not help the protesters either.  They are simply there to watch.  Imagine if we had observers here in the United States that went to all protests and watched the actions of police?  Perhaps there wouldn't have been as many counts of alleged abuse by the police in Zucotti Park or in the surrounding areas during the Occupy Movement.  Perhaps those students in California wouldn't have been sprayed if there were official observers there watching every move the police made.  Obviously we will never know if it would have made a difference in past protests, but I have the feeling it could definitely make a difference in future protests.  The only issue I envision there being is the lack of volunteers to take on the role of observer at protests.  Unlike in Chile where it seems there is a greater bond amongst the citizens, we have a general apathy when it comes to volunteering.  There are a good number of people who I feel would be willing to take on the role, but would it be enough?  I think it might be as one wouldn't need an excessive amount of observers for a protest.  The only other issue I see being a problem is keeping the observers neutral.  In most cases, people in this country either side with the protesters or the police, rarely in the middle where they would need to be in order to observe.  It wouldn't even necessarily mean finding the people that are neutral on an issue, but have the capacity of putting aside their beliefs in order to protect the rights of their fellow citizens. 

Perhaps the part that ensures the success of the observers in Chile is that they make themselves known to the police.  They approach them before the protest begins and tell them specifically what they are there to do (watch the police) and what they are not there to do (get involved in the protest).   While it wouldn't be guaranteed to take hold and actually make a difference in the United States, the potential is there.  I could see this kind of observation working in almost any democratic country with a legitimate and fair justice system.  I obviously have serious reservations about this kind of observation ever working in a country like Iran, Syria, or China.  In those countries, and others that are similar in nature, the observers would probably be arrested and detained along with the rest of the protesters.  In any case, it is something that is worth looking into in the United States.  Before I get lambasted for comparing our country to Chile, let me just say that our police seem to be much better than those in Chile.  That being said, we do have our issues and we have all heard the news accounts of police overstepping their bounds in the United States.  Maybe the time has come to start our our protest observer groups to keep tabs on the police.  I can almost promise you that the police wouldn't really like it, but hey, it isn't for them to decide.  If they kept their actions within the confines of the law at all times, then I probably wouldn't be writing this now.  Maybe its time to ensure the safety of all our own citizens during protests and keep the police in check.  Then again, maybe no one will pay heed and things will continue as they have.  In any case, I like the idea and could definitely see it working as it has in Chile. 

Foggy Mornings

I, for one, am in love with foggy mornings.  While I enjoy super dense fog on occasion, the kind that is as thick as pea soup and leaves every surface covered in condensation, the fog I love more is the spotty fog that accumulates in little valleys and above rivers.  Early in the morning with the sun just starting to show itself over distant tree tops is perhaps my favorite time for spotty fog.   When I see a distant hillside robed in fog, little wisps escaping upwards, I want to follow that fog and immerse myself in it.  Its almost as if the fog is hiding a host of secrets within its all encompassing embrace.  It speaks of mystery and hidden treasures, beckoning one towards it with its ethereal glow.  I rarely succumb to its pull unfortunately.  I don't follow the fog, don't pull over when I am in its embrace, and don't go searching for its hidden secrets.  I merely drive through it, waiting to be captured by a band of roving gypsies or a group of roving bandits on horseback.  They never come either, despite how much I might wish they did.  If I ignore the power lines, street lights, and the occasional blaring of a car horn, I can almost imagine myself elsewhere, far from the pull of work and the intrusion of people into my life.  Visions of the tantalizing fog speak to covered mountaintops in the Swiss Alps or sometimes just the rolling hills of the California coast.  Those distant settings are transported wherever the fog goes, or wherever my mind wanders on a given morning.  Driving to work through the fog sometimes makes me wish I was driving the coast in California, searching for that one hilltop that escapes the fogs intrusive reach.  What could be more wonderful than finding that hilltop, parking your car, and getting out to see a blanket of endless white stretching out before you.  At times it almost looks like a tsunami in super slow motion, its undulating waves roaring silently in to every crevice and corner.  Its as if the fog is creeping in to clean and scrub every surface it comes into contact with.  Despite how much fog there may be, it never stays forever.  Rather, it is a fleeting friend come to visit early in the morning.  Its quiet and seductive, deadening any sound uttered within its grasp, teaching us to just listen sometimes.   I always listen to what the fog has to say and often times it says nothing, but in all its silence, it says everything.  It beckons us to see the quiet side of nature, the rest that nature gets within the fog's embrace, its life giving droplets of moisture saturating everything.  Perhaps we could all use a little cleansing fog sometimes to scrub off the worries of the world.  Perhaps we should venture out more often on foot, exploring a landscape transformed into one where a masked marauder could be hiding behind any tree.  But, alas, time is fleeting and we never truly know when fog will make its appearance, it just does.   The next time I see some fog, I will find its resting place and allow it to embrace me for a while, cleaning me, maybe, of the crap that fills my brain. 

To Settle

I am once again going to draw off of my night in New York as inspiration for my blog post today.  In the wee hours of Saturday morning, probably around 230 AM, my friend asked me if I thought I had "settled down".  Coming from any other person, I wouldn't have given the question much thought and simply responded yes, I have settled down.  However, being a good friend of mine who often engages me in a philosophical discussion, I knew that I couldn't just give a simple answer because the question, when you think about it, isn't that simple.  When looking at the definition of "settle", you will find that there are a slew of definitions that cover everything from sediment drifting to the bottom of water to getting revenge to the more apt definitions of "accept despite lack of complete satisfaction" or "become established and stable in one's residence or life style".  These last two are what I drew off of when formulating my answer for my friend.  To start off my response, I first stated that it all depends on how you wish to define "settled down".  For myself, I would have to say that the second definition of "becoming established and stable in one's residence of life style" more aptly describes my form of settling down than the first.  I would have to say that I have not accepted life despite any lack of complete satisfaction.  What's more, I couldn't be happier.  Have there been times in my life when I have settled for less than what I am completely satisfied with?  Yes, but I knew that my friend didn't mean over my whole lifetime, but rather in terms of where we currently are in our life situation. 

I know why he asked me if I feel I had settled down.  It is because he is always re-evaluating his own situation and perhaps is uncertain right now if he has made all the "right" decisions and picked the best route possible for his life.  I feel that he wanted me to say that, yes, I had settled for less than the best.  However, I feel that it is more complicated than just saying yes or no.  In fact, I feel that if anyone ever feels that they have accepted life despite complete satisfaction, then they have no one to blame but themselves.  Whats more, in order to get to the point in life where we are now, we have to go through countless decisions, the outcome of which we will never know till we get there.  All we can do is make the best decision for ourselves based upon our current situation and follow through with it.  If we end up in a place that we are not necessarily fond of due to our decision, then we have the option to then change course and bring our life to a place where we can be wholly satisfied with it.  If we, however, simply keep on living out our decision even if we are not happy, then that is when we have "settled" for less than what we are capable of and in turn less than what we will ultimately be satisfied with.  I asked my friend if he is happy with his current life situation and he said yes.  My response was that in a sense he had settled down, but not necessarily settled.  I also told him that settling down is not necessarily a permanent action in my mind.  We may settle down for a time, sometimes for a long time, but that never means we are cemented where we are.  At any one point, if we are not satisfied, we can pick up, change gears, and re-invent our lives. 

Some people would say that there is only one true path to happiness for every person.  I would flat out disagree with that and say that what makes someone happy changes depending on where they are in their lives.  Even there is one general path that may make us happier than others, that one path has many options that can increase or decrease our happiness depending on the choices we make.  In my mind, if we accept less than what we are completely satisfied with, then we are doing ourselves a disservice.  There is no reason that anyone has to settle for less than the best.  Is achieving the best (as dictated by what will make us happiest) always easy?  No, but everyone has it within themselves to attain the best.  So at the end of my conversation with my friend, I think I left him with more to think about than an actual answer.  He did say that he couldn't disagree with anything I said (which coming from him is a miracle) and I think that he will figure out whether he has "settled down" or "settled" eventually.  For people in their late twenties/early thirties, I think that this question of "settling" is especially pertinent.  At this age, a lot of people are starting families, buying houses, establishing careers and all of that brings to mind questions of whether or not we followed the correct path for us and if we are "settling" or "settling down".  The answer is obviously different for everyone, but speaking for myself, I can say that I have "settled down" and am happy.  Does that mean things won't change?  Absolutely not, but for now, I feel I have established myself, my family, and our life styles. 

Rage Against the Facebook

I don't know about anyone else, but I am getting quite tired of Facebook.  Its not so much the idea of Facebook, but rather the stupidity of the posts that gets me most times.   I don't think that there has been one day that has passed where I haven't scrolled through the myriad posts on FB and thought to myself, "My life would have been better without reading that comment."  Yet, there are also times when I come across cool links from friends, interesting news articles, or videos that I find drawn to watch.  However, with that being said, I fear that stupidity wins out most times over the intelligent posts I read.  Perhaps it is just me, but if I haven't seen you in a decade, do you really think I care about a debate that's going on in your head about weather to have another cup of coffee or not?  Or even better, what impact does someone having a headache actually have on me?  Most times, I think that people hop onto Facebook thinking they are going to find some cool information and upon not finding anything, feel the need to write anything before signing out.  Perhaps the most treacherous waters to tread on Facebook happens when people don't think about what they write or how it might affect them later on.  I have seen too many posts (both from friends and relatives) that if read by an employer would be the beginning of a process to eliminate that person as an employee.   Whats even worse is when the photo's hit Facebook and people tag every single person in that photo even if they don't want to be tagged.  Sometimes its not even about the tagging, but rather just the posting of the photo on Facebook that could get someone into trouble. 

This past Friday offered up a prime example of how Facebook could potentially work against you.  As I was down in NY, grilling on a rooftop in the business district, someone in our group had a stranger take a group picture with someone's iPhone (which by the way 9 out of 9 people had).  As soon as the picture was taken, the group I was with disappeared.  They didn't disappear literally, but rather they all became engrossed in posting the photo on Facebook, sharing it with one another, and sending it to friends that couldn't make it.  I think I was the only one that wasn't staring down at my phone for 5 minutes.  But that is besides the point.  As people were posting the photo, tagging people in it and what not, my good friend asked people not to tag him in any photos as they had the previous night.  The reason?  He had not told his employer that he was going to be in NY for the weekend and didn't want them finding out through Facebook that he was there.  Legitimate request in my mind, however most people don't think about the ramifications of their actions when posting things to Facebook.  Even my brother, who I love dearly, is a little insane in his Facebook posting.  There will be times when he posts his aggravation about a certain issue multiple times within a few hours.  Why share frustration with others?  Do you honestly think anyone cares if you are stuck on a train?  No, only you do, so keep it to yourself.  Maybe I am just living in the dark ages and can't find my way to modern times, or maybe I am just practical and logical.  I would much rather tell someone personally about events in my life than blab about it on Facebook where everyone and their mother can read it. 

Of course, I do utilize Facebook to post my blog to, but that is about the extent of my usage.  The only other times I post something is when I come across something that I think is really cool and feel that others would like to see it.  Most times, none of the stuff I post is about me, because frankly, I don't think too many people would be interested in the nitty gritty details of my life.  Even if they were, I wouldn't share them.  So how do I justify what I do with my blog?  My blog is merely an avenue for me to write my opinions, thoughts, ideas, and basically just to write as I love to do.  None of what I write is that offensive I feel and I post one a day to Facebook, that is it.  For all the perils that Facebook poses to its users, it is a useful tool for those who know how to use it.  It is great for staying in touch with family and distant friends (especially those you might not want to talk to on the phone but would rather just send a little message to on FB).   Oh, and before I wrap this whole thing up for the day, let me just say that I am sick and tired of seeing pictures of people's children and infants on Facebook.  I know its me because almost every single person I know has posted a picture of their child on Facebook, however, I feel that it is grossly inappropriate and a detriment to those children.  Looking at all the children I have seen pictures of on Facebook, it appears that I know what they look like better than I know what their parents look like.  Its kind of sad if you ask me.  These children aren't capable of making decisions on their own yet we decide it is necessary to share pictures of them with the world.  I have news for people, you may think your child is the cutest on the planet, but I guarantee that there is another baby out there that is cuter than yours.  Just saying.  I am done for today. 

Sometimes, A Therapist

No, I am not going to see a therapist of any sorts if that is what you inferred from reading the title of my blog this morning.  Some may say I need a therapist, but that is besides the point as I am not going to one and not going to write about going to one.  Rather, the whole "therapist" theme I am writing about today is more in regards to myself feeling like a therapist at times.  What brought this all about was an event Friday night, which due to the request of the person involved, will not be mentioned in detail here.  (Boy, if that doesn't sound like a therapist's disclaimer, I don't know what does).  Anyway, lets move on from the pitter patter and get into the meat of the matter.  For those of you who know me on a personal level outside of the blogosphere, you probably know that for the most part, I don't talk unless I have something meaningful to say.  I prefer to adhere to the age old saying that since we have two ears and one mouth, we should listen twice as much as we talk.  I prefer not to inject myself into conversations unless I can contribute something.  I would much rather listen most of the time.  Letting a group of people carry on in their conversations is the best way to see what they are really like.  On Friday night, I was kind of an outsider to the party.  The 8 people who gathered together on Friday night (9 including myself) all grew up together in upstate New York and it was a reunion of sorts for them.  Myself, I got invited only because one of my best friends was there and we hadn't seen each other in a couple of years.  So needless to say, whenever all of them were gathered together that night, I got to listen to their stories and catch a glimpse of what their lives are like outside of that one night.  But being part of that group is still not the main reason I felt like a therapist that night.  Rather, it happened later on as we were moved from a comedy club to a bar down in Greenwich village. 

We all congregated in a little bar, the music turned up way too loud, and an empty dance floor in the rear.  Most of our group was split up in the bar, involved in little conversations here and there.  I floated around and talked to people here and there until at one point, one person from the group came up and started talking to me.  We got involved in a conversation that inevitably turned personal for them.  At one point, they looked around to make sure none of their friends were too close and told me something that he had only told two other people, their hair stylist and their therapist (ironic, right).  It wasn't some personal issue they were dealing with or some down and dirty little secret; rather, it was a game changing decision they had made a few weeks back and still seemed uncertain of this past Friday night.   That is all the detail you will get about it.   At that point, I kind of felt like a therapist.  I asked questions, I pondered, I offered my ideas/advice when necessary, but for the most part, I let this person talk.  It seemed almost as if they were still trying to figure out if they had made the right decision and what they were going to do going forward.  Personally, I agree with the decision they made although the more I heard about their personal life and other issues, the more complicated the issue became.  Nothing is ever cut and dry once you into the deep underlying layers of life and how everything fits together.  In short, this person was trying to figure out how to piece together the next part of their life and still wasn't sure if they had made the right decision.  I still feel that they did, but I could only offer so much consolation.  However things turn out, based upon the decision they made a few weeks ago, I am sure that everything will turn out just fine for them. 

Its weird sometimes feeling like a therapist.  Friday night is not by any means the first time I have felt like one.  I think part of the reason I get picked by people to be their "temporary therapist" is because I listen without judging and only talk when they are done talking.  I have been told "secrets" by so many people I have forgotten most of them.  If I am sworn to secrecy, I never open my mouth to anyone and I think that people have come to trust that about me.  It is a little funny to me, however, that most times I become that therapist, there have been drinks involved and people's tongue's seem to be a little looser than normal.  Still, my therapy sessions are not limited to the bar setting.  Maybe its the fact that people find me trust worthy.  Or maybe they just really value my opinion on different things.  Whatever it is, I will probably continue to be a therapist to friends and others whenever it is necessary.  To me, apart from the fact that I have the opportunity to potentially impact someone's life, I enjoy listening to unique situations and how people deal with them.  Being a writer at heart and a watcher of people, every little insight I can get into humanity, individualism, and the convoluted mess that is the human brain, the more I can build up my own repertoire of experiences to use at a later time.  Every time that someone shares personal information with me I find that I re-commit myself to being a better listener.  There are times when I don't want to listen, but most of the time, my ears are open and waiting to hear what people have to say. 

The Veil of Sunglasses

If you read my blog on Friday, you most likely know that I spent the day and night down in New York City.  The City was everything I remember it to be and more.   Let me just say this about my short foray into the chaotic realm they call Manhattan; I now have a lot to write about.  Inspiration for writing first came in the form of sunglasses, on the train to Manhattan.  The train ride of sunglasses started the inspiration for me, and that inspiration continued in force once I got to the city.  In short, I simply began thinking of why it is that so many people find it necessary to wear sunglasses on a train that has tinted windows to keep the harshest sun out.  I can understand the sunglasses on the train a little, but to continue wearing them into the bowels of Grand Central Station, through the concrete tunnels and seemingly perpetually throughout the day is perplexing.  Then there are the subways, deeper underground and darker where sunglasses continue to be a mainstay that continued my pondering.  The more I thought about the sunglasses though, the more reasons I came up with as to why people would wear them ad nauseum despite the lack of sun and brightness.  Obviously people with sensitive eyes have a very good reason for wearing sunglasses wherever they go due to the harsh fluorescent lights and what not.  Yet there can't be hundreds of people with eyes so sensitive they need to where sunglasses underground.  So I racked my brain for more explanations.  There is the potential that some of the people wearing sunglasses took way too many drugs and don't want people to see their tweaked out eyes.  Yet even then, the middle of the day is an odd time to see theses type of people out and furthermore, none of the people I saw, despite a few whacked out individuals, looked as if they were in the situation I just described. 

So with the first possible explanations not going far enough in fleshing out why so many people wore sunglasses wherever they went, I had to dig even deeper.  What I came up with was that sunglasses offered the wearers not only protection from the bright lights, but offered them 1 of 2 opportunities.  The first being the ability to secretively watch others without them knowing they were being watched.  I used to do this back in my early twenties when I took classes down in NY City and wanted to watch people go about their lives without knowing that I was watching them.  Now I just don't give a damn and watch people without my sunglasses on.  I don't really care if people know I am watching them, I just do my thing and make sure it isn't creepy.  In reality, I can't help but to watch people.  I love to watch people go about their routines, each one slightly different than the next, and how they act in different situations.  There is no better place to do this than on a train, subway, or crowded NY City landscape.  I can perfectly understand why some people would want the veil of privacy that sunglasses seemingly offer when performing this kind of watching if you will.  There is something about watching hundreds of people in such close proximity with no relation to one another go about their daily lives as if they were the only one that existed.  Each person acts slightly differently when in a crowd and to see the differences is to see the uniqueness that is humanity.  To some, it doesn't matter, to me, it is fascinating.

The flip side of having sunglasses as a veil from which to observe people is using them as a cloak of invisibility.  This would be similar to the person hyped up on drugs or extremely hungover who wants to hide their eyes from the world.  The difference is, of course, that the person seeking that cloak of invisibility is obviously not necessarily on drugs.  Some would say that the eyes of a person reveal more about that person than anything they could say, do, or otherwise express.  Knowing this, it is understandable that some people would want to hide their most expressive feature from the world.  It seems that some people don't want others to see their eyes, to catch a glimpse of who they really are, and to take something away from them.  Sunglasses offer these people protection.  With sunglasses on, it is almost impossible for the casual observer to see another person's eyes, let alone figure out what they are doing or actually looking at.  A person with sunglasses on could be sleeping, reading, pretending to read while actually watching someone else, or simply staring straight out the window.  For some people, sunglasses offer protection against the rest of the invasive world.  It keeps the world a little farther away while still being in close proximity to it.  In short, sunglasses are almost like a multi-tool.  The first obvious function is to protect the eyes of the wearer from harmful UV rays.  Beyond that, they can be used for many purposes as I described.  For me, the sole purpose is mainly to shield my eyes from the sun.  Although I must say, I can't rule out the possibility of using them as a veil from behind which I can observe the world in relative secrecy. 

To The City

I am headed to New York City today.  Its been a while, too long in my mind, and I personally can't wait to get back down there to the hustle and bustle, even if its only for one day and night.  The last time I was there had to have been at least three to four years ago, possibly longer.  There is a part of my that misses the city every so often and I have finally been given an excuse to escape down there.  The reason my travels bring me to New York City on this beautiful Friday is one of my best friends is up from Miami visiting some friends and asked if I could make it down for a day.  I said of course I could.  I will not be traveling with my wife and son on this trip.  I will flying solo this time and hopefully over the winter my wife and I can make a trip down with our son for his first experience of the chaos that is New York.  Perhaps that is why I enjoy traveling down there so much, because of the chaos.  There is something about being in the midst of a throng of people traveling down a sidewalk that is exhilarating.  Whats even more exhilarating is to slow down and watch the tide of people part and flow around you like a sea of overgrown ants.  Thinking about it, most of them do resemble ants with little electronic devices poking out of their ears, receiving and sending signals like an ants antennae.  I also enjoy watching the variety of people that populate the streets in New York.  You get everyone from the homeless, to the business executive, to the yuppie, to the lone traveler.  Thinking about the myriad different people down in the city and their close proximity to each other, I can understand why some people don't like the city.  For many, there is the issue of personal space.  There must be at least 3 feet around some people at all times or else they start to freak out and become almost claustrophobic.  Not me.  Give me the crowds, give me the insanity, and as long as I am outdoors and not stuck in a throng in a store, I am all good.  I guess that would be my weak spot, crowds of people inside stores.  Now that is not my thing, although I can deal with it on occasion.  In any case, I will be leaving in a few hours, hitting up the Moma, and enjoying some time with friends.   Supposedly, my friend's buddy who lives in New York has reserved the rooftop grill at his apartment building in the business district for tonight so we will be grilling and chilling.  At least drinks will be less expensive as we will not be traveling to too many bars.  So I am going to keep it short today so I can spend a little time with my son before I go.  Have a great weekend everyone and I will be back to the writing block Monday morning. 

Creation Vs. Evolution

Let me first start by apologizing for not posting yesterday.  After 4 nights of less than five hours of sleep a night, I woke up yesterday morning exhausted with seemingly no mental of physical function.  Hence, no post.  But today I am back to normal and ready to get into a nice a heavy topic, reconciling creation vs. evolution, or at least attempting to.  I doubt that I will do an adequate job of it and will most likely create more questions than answers, but I have to try.  The reason I am writing about this is because this is a topic that my mind often times wanders back to in an attempt to flesh it out.  So far, I am still stuck it seems, or at least mostly stuck.  I am pulled by two sides, my upbringing as a Catholic in which I was taught about how the world was created by God, and my schooling through which I learned about evolution and the seemingly natural progression of species and the changes they undergo.  The biggest issue between the two and the reason why most people adhere to one or the other and not both, is that through the lens of creation, man was solely created by God and does not have any animal relatives whereas evolution posits that man was a product of thousands of years of evolution that changed an ape into man.  So how does one go about resolving the two when they don't necessarily seem compatible.  If you adhere solely to creationism, you most likely believe that everything was created by God and as such, doesn't change over time to adapt to changing conditions.  Everything that is on the earth was placed by God for a specific purpose.  Evolution on the other hand flies in the face of creation in that all animal life evolved from some amoeba floating around in a pond hundreds of thousands of years ago and over time, branched out, changed, and diverged into the thousands of species (including us) that inhabit the earth today.  Even writing about it now makes me think that any possible explanation reconciling the two would be grossly inadequate, but I still must try. 

So most people, even if not religious, know the Christian creation story.  Over the course of seven days, God created everything on earth, the earth, the sky, the sea, plants, animals, humans, etc.  Now, according to the Bible, the whole process took seven days, the seventh being a day of rest for God.  Most people these days, being as progressive as we are, view the creation story as a myth; an attempt to explain how the world came into being.  Now, does the creation story actually take place over the course of seven days or is seven days a metaphor for a much longer period of time?  How are we supposed to know what seven days is to God?  I would suggest that perhaps God's seven days is actually a much longer period of time than we would think.  One day could span a thousand or ten thousand years in the eyes of God.  If we look at it from that perspective, evolution starts to fit a little more neatly into the creation story.   If we consider creation to have taken place over thousands of years, then evolution is entirely possible.  As man and woman were the last to be created by God, perhaps He waited until apes had evolved close enough to man as we know it today and then created man and woman.  Yes, my reconciliation is a simple as that.  I know that there are a probably a thousand and one critiques about my explanation or reconciliation if you will, but its a start.  It is hard to deny evolution exists when we see how humans have changed even over the course of a few thousand years.  How can creation alone account for the myriad different features that humans possess?  Simply looking at an Asian person vs. an African, vs. a European you can see countless differences between facial features alone. 

For me, I don't adhere to one idea absolutely.  I find the appeal in both and as such will continue to try and reconcile them in my mind.  I guess what I was mostly trying to do today, as simple as it was, was to provoke thought in people.  I know that there are adherents to creationism who will flat out refuse to buy into any aspect of evolution and vice versa.  However, to adhere to one idea so concretely is to say that there is no other way to look at things.  If any scientist, in whatever field of work they are in, refuses to look at different approaches to a problem, then they will fail as a scientist.  Scientists depend on approaching problems from different angles to try and figure them out.  As such, I find it hard to believe that some people will adhere so much to one idea that they put all others out of the realm of possibility.  What people need to do is to be flexible in their beliefs and their approach to different ideologies.  Inflexibility is what leads to conflict in most cases and we all know how conflict can spin quickly out of control.  In summation, I would more than welcome other thoughts and ideas on this topic as I still am not sold on any one explanation that can reconcile the two.  The more ideas the better in my mind.  But alas, most people will probably just brush this off and not spend even a few seconds contemplating creation vs. evolution.  I believe in both, partly, and if this makes me a bad Catholic or human, then so be it.  There is room for both ideologies, all we need to do is figure out the best way of reconciling them (which I am sure has been done before, I just haven't read any of them.)

Still Running

Its been a week since I started my daily running routine and I have only taken one day off so far.   While I didn't necessarily want to take one day off, I also couldn't find it in me to go on my daily run.  Friday was my day off from running, and walking, due to the fact that I only got about 4 hours of sleep Thursday into Friday and I was completely exhausted.  Since I felt the way I did, no energy and in desperate need of an afternoon nap (which I took), I don't really feel that bad about taking the one day off.  All in all, the running has been going well.  I was obviously a little sore for a few days after starting, but that soon diminished, at least until today.  While I had been running before, I had never really been taught how to run.  Since the last time I had gone running, maybe 2-3 years prior, I had read a few articles on running and had an idea on what I was doing wrong before and how I could change it to hopefully eliminate some of the pain I used to feel.  While most runners will know what I am about to say, most people probably have no clue about the difference that a running style can make.  Previously, I used to run as most people walk, my heel hitting the ground before the rest of my foot.  This style of running can actually cause more injury to a person than the style I started last week.  The reason more injuries occur when your heel hits the ground first is because there is no absorption of the shock from landing.  This puts undue amounts of stress on the knee and ankle and if it doesn't cause problems immediately, can definitely cause problems in the long run.  Instead, the proper way to run (despite many runners not running this way), is to hit the ground with your toes first, then your heel.  By landing on your toes you create a natural shock absorber and take stress off of your ankles and knees.  So far, despite my not-so-great knees from soccer, I have had no joint pain.  This is perhaps the biggest benefit for me.  In previous attempts at running, I used to stop due to pain in my knees and ankles.  Now, the only discomfort I have is from utilizing different muscles to land on my toes instead of my heels. 

I guess I had always known that I should land on my toes when running, it just never seemed natural when I tried it as a younger man.  It didn't even seem natural when I tried walking with my toes landing first.  However, this time around, while a little weird at first, the benefits far outstripped any weirdness that I experienced and I now feel more natural landing on my toes while running than my heels.  I made another big change over the weekend in my running sneakers as well.  When I started running last week, I had only a beat up old pair of sneakers that were on their last legs.  They served the purpose for a few days, but I knew that if I was going to keep up with the running, I would need something different in which to run.  So I bought some new sneakers over the weekend.  Now, I didn't just buy any pair of sneakers, I bought the Vibram Five Fingers.  They are essentially a foot glove, the sneakers (if you can call them that) that look like a glove, have a little sleeve for each toe, and allow far more mobility for your toes and whole foot than an actual sneaker does.  They are different from the Skele Toes in that all five toes have distinct mobility while the Skele Toes put the smallest two toes in a little pocket together.  In any case, I absolutely love them now.  They are super light, super flexible, and allow me to feel the ground more distinctly than I could with regular sneakers.  The biggest difference that I have found while running is that they change how my foot hits the ground.  With sneakers, you can land on almost any part of the front and it wouldn't make a difference.  With the Five Fingers, however, you are more conscious of how your foot lands as your toes have more flexibility and the sneakers have less rigidity.  I find that I am landing in the front center of my foot versus the outside of the foot as I used to with sneakers.  This distributes the weight better and puts less stress on the foot as a whole.  My muscles are a little more sore after two days of running with foot gloves on, but I feel that it is because of how I am landing.  

I am sure that a few more days will see my muscles improve and the running get easier.  I have not increase the distance that I am running yet.  Currently my run lasts maybe 20 minutes.  It is not that long overall, maybe a mile or two, but it is enough to get my heart pumping faster and my muscles burning a little.  What I have been doing, as I always used to do, is run the majority of my route at a slow, easy pace and then once I have about a quarter mile left, I pick up the pace to a fast run and then I sprint the last 50 yards or so.  My older dog Princess still doesn't really like to run so the sprinting and fast running don't always go so well.  My wife, however, will be starting to get up earlier so I can take my younger dog Aspen on a run alone and she can take Princess on a walk.  I know that Aspen can take whatever I dish out and keep on going which is a great help to allow me to focus on running.  I found this morning with Princess that when she started falling behind to much, I would start landing on my heels.  The concentration, while not that much is needed, was just not there.  In any case, I have been feeling much better since I have been running every day.  I have more energy overall and I have even shed a few pounds in the process.  One week down, 2 to go before it becomes a habit.  I seriously hope that I can keep it up stay in better shape with running.  For now, however, I need another cup of coffee and a huge glass of water to begin my day. 

Molar Time

Well, we didn't go camping this weekend as we had planned.  The good news is that we figured out what was causing our son to wake up periodically screaming last week.  Part of it might have been his molar's which are starting to come in, but a bigger part was what we went to the doctor for on Friday.  My wife called the doctor on Friday because our son had some irritation and minor swelling in his genital region.  (Hopefully our son will forgive me for talking about his issue later on.)  Being new parents, we were obviously a little concerned and felt it was more important to go see the doctor than to pack up and go camping for the weekend.  It turns out that everything was fine despite the irritation.  We found out that it is not uncommon for baby boys to get this type of swelling and irritation from time to time.  The cause?  Could be any number of things from my wife's pH level resulting in more acidic urine in our son to teething to whatever.  What was even better news at the doctor was that our son didn't need any antibiotics.  Instead, what our pediatrician recommended (who might I remind people leans towards more natural remedies before medicine) was calendula, neosporin, and breast milk.  "Mix the three together, apply 4-5 times daily, and it should clear up."  The remedy worked as our son is almost back to normal.  No medicine taken internally or anything else for that matter.  All in all, it was a good thing we didn't go to Vermont camping this weekend as our son probably would not have had much fun.  So now that his little issue is cleared up, on to bigger and better things like dealing with incoming molars.

Overall, our son is doing fantastic with teething, even with his molar's coming in full strength.  We had a feeling that more teeth were coming in but couldn't see them for a while.  Over this weekend, though, both my wife and I managed to sneak a peak into our son's mouth as he opened it nice and wide to eat.  Sure enough, he has some small white spots near the back of his mouth exactly where his molars will be coming in.  For those parents out there looking for something to help with teething, our pediatrician has recommended on numerous occasions getting an amber necklace for our son. The amber is supposed to help alleviate the pain.  We have not bought the necklace due to the fact that our son has not shed one tear during his whole teething process.  It still amazes me to see our son deal with his incoming teeth as if nothing is happening.  He does grunt and groan on occasion, but he has taken to doing that on a regular basis because he simply likes the noise now.  Outside of his irritation and molar's, he is doing phenomenally well.  I have noticed a few new things about our son that I hadn't noticed before.  The first, which I absolutely adore, is our son playing peek a boo as I do from time to time.  For a while now, I can't remember how long, I have taken a blanket, thrown it over my head, and pull it down to play peek a boo.  Well, this weekend I got to see our son do the exact same thing.  He takes the blanket, raises it in front of his face, and then drops it down quickly exposing an enormous smile on his face.  Simply amazing and funny.  The second is our son drinking small sips out of a regular cup with help.  We have been trying sippy cups to no avail.  He simply wants to play with the cup and not actually drink out of it.  So this weekend we figured we would try giving him a regular small cup with some water in it.  He opens his mouth as we put the glass to his lips and as the water hits his lips he tries to lap it up with his tongue.  It is so cute to watch.  He does actually drink some water out of it, albeit not much, but it is a step in the right direction.  

The newest thing that he does is open his mouth wide exposing his teeth and keeping his teeth exposed, makes a chewing movement with noise.  He smiles while he is doing it and crinkles his nose a little as well.  It is yet another cute aspect to our son.  And one thing he is definitely not afraid of is strangers.  He is a little shy when first meeting someone but it never lasts that long.  The extent of his shyness is turning to whoever is holding him and giving them a little hug before turning back around to see who exactly we are talking to or meeting.  Soon after seeing that the stranger is OK, he goes back to being his normal cheery self, smiling and acting like a little boy does.  It was so much fun to watch him yesterday when we went to REI in Norwalk to get sneakers for my wife and I.  He just wanted to get down and explore everything around.  So let him explore we did.  He was crawling under benches and playing with the foot measuring devices, he tried pulling sneakers off the display rack, he was crawling into shelves, up fake rocks; you name it, he did it.  And the whole time he was positively happy.  Of course all the activity of exploring part of a store wore him out and he took almost a three hour nap in the afternoon, but we didn't complain about that one bit.  I simply can't wait to see what our son will come up with next that we haven't see before.  You can be sure that when he does, I will write about it here.  Till tomorrow, be well and happy and seize the day as best you can. 

Uh oh, More Teeth

Judging by events over this past week, I would have to say that our son is getting his next round of teeth and I am also pretty sure that he is not enjoying it.  All the teeth he has gotten so far, 10 I believe, have come in relatively smoothly and without much complaining.  This time, however, while he isn't complaining much during the day, he has taken to waking up screaming at night.  There isn't a set time when he wakes up, rather, it could range from a half hour after going to bed till three in the morning.  Regardless, the evenings have not been overly fun and last night was by far the worst yet.   He woke up for the first time around 6, only a half hour after going down for the night.  After letting him lay there for a few minutes with no abatement to the crying and screaming, I went to go see what was wrong.  As soon as I picked him up, started singing to him and rocking him, he stopped crying and just stared at me for about 15 minutes.  Seeing that he was not about to fall asleep in my arms, I put him back down in his crib.  About halfway down to the mattress, he starts crying and screaming again.  Well, he screamed for a few more minutes after I left the room and then went to sleep presumably.  The fun did not stop there.  After I left for a dart match, my wife reported him waking up maybe around 730.  Knowing that he most likely wanted to be held, my wife left him in the crib and let him cry it off.  It took a while, but eventually he fell back asleep.  Even after that episode, it appears that he did not have enough because he took up crying again about  9/930.  That time, however, the crying didn't last nearly as long and he went back to sleep on his own accord. 

So while he is most likely waking up from his teeth or nightmares or something, we think he is also testing us to see if we will come and get him when he cries.  Last night seemed to prove that a little as each time he woke up and cried, he cried for less time and went back to sleep on his own more quickly.  Hopefully he figures out quickly that someone will not be coming to get him every time he makes a peep up in his crib.  I do feel bad that he is in pain (at least I think he is), however when he stops crying the moment you pick him up and start singing to him, the pain can't be that bad.  My wife and I are both hoping that his teeth come in quickly and that he can get back to sleeping all the way through the night like he as been doing since 2 months old.  Outside of this latest hiccup, our son is doing fantastic.  He is getting closer and closer to walking now.  Over the past week or so, he has gained a little confidence and started letting go of one hand while walking.  He still greatly depends on the other hand to steady himself and provide balance, yet going one handed is just one step closer (ha, no pun intended originally).  He also has a penchant for throwing things, from clothes to blocks, toys to diapers; anything he can get his hands on inevitably gets thrown.  It doesn't just get thrown once however, he will often times throw or drop an object, pick it up, and repeat a few more times till he re-affirms that gravity has not vanished and if he drops something repeatedly, it will fall to the ground repeatedly. 

One of my favorite things he does involves me chasing him.  If he is on the floor in any room and I or my wife crouches down and start moving towards him like we are going to give chase, he flies into hysterics and tries scrambling away.  His hysterics in this setting are actually giddiness coupled with wide eyes and his infectious laugh.  When he tries scrambling way, giggling the whole time, he sometimes tries to move faster than his little hands and legs can take him.  It is so adorable to watch and be part of.  When either of us finally catch him, we normally end up tickling him which just sends his hysterics into full blown laugh mode.  I wouldn't trade it for anything.  I can't wait to see what he tries to do next.  For now, however, I will just watch, laugh, and love our little man.  This morning we shall see what this weekend holds.  I say that because we had planned to go camping again, however, with our son's late night antics, we are now debating (at least I am) staying home instead.  I know we shouldn't allow our son to screw with our schedule, but he is only 10 months old despite appearances and I would like to get a good night's sleep up in Vermont.  The decision will probably not be made for a few more hours so until that time, I will drink more coffee and get to my Friday morning meeting. 

The Catholic Predicament

It seems that the Catholic Church is going through some pains currently.  I am not talking about any scandals of abuse and molestation that have captured headlines for what seems like too long.  Instead, I am talking about the apparent fight between conservative and liberal sides as to which way the Church should proceed into the future.  Currently, it seems like the conservative side has gained ground, especially with more and more clergy (from the Vatican down) adhering to the conservative camp and attempting to flex their muscles so that all can feel their strength.  For those of you who are Catholic and attend church, the first and perhaps most notable conservative change is the difference in the responses during Mass.  Many of the new changes in my mind make things more convoluted and are pushing people away.  The changes were made so that the wording was more along the lines of what the original text meant and said, yet, I can't quite picture Jesus and his disciples uttering anything similar to what we are saying now.  What the conservatives seem bent on doing is not advancing the Church into the future, but dragging it back into the middle ages or pre-Vatican II years.   In a day and age where everything is changing, adapting, and advancing; the Catholic Church seems to be stuck in a rut.  They are having trouble attracting new faces to the church, and in many cases, they are actually pushing people way with their policies and rules.  Frankly, I have no use for the current leadership in Rome and think that they need to seriously wake up and smell the coffee.

The changing of the words used at Mass is by far the least of what they have done in recent years.  They have also seemingly reversed their policy towards women in the Church as well.  While we all know that women can not be priests in the Catholic Church, for years after Vatican II they were able to serve as acolytes and Eucharistic ministers during Mass.  Now it is highly recommended, if not strictly enforced, that women not be allowed on the altar.  Luckily at our church we do not run into that issue as our pastor aligns himself more with the liberals than the conservatives.  To me, women have every right to serve on the altar with men and any church that says otherwise will not see me attend.  (Its not like I go to many other churches, but if I did, my statement would hold).  Yet all this talk about women is just the tip of the iceberg.  Most recently the nuns have been in the news for supposedly going against what the Vatican says.  I don't know every little detail, but I believe it all boils down to the Church trying to micro-manage every facet of its organization.  Every where the Church touches, they need to have a say and control how things are run.  Perhaps instead of persistently going back to the rules that have stifled the church's growth, the Vatican should instead look to what would be most beneficial to its members.  The only thing that the Vatican sees is adherence to the rules, nothing else.  They have failed to consider the human factor in recent years, the changes that society has gone through, and how best to advance the church into the future.  And last but not least, perhaps they should seek out a woman's opinion on the matter. 

What is truly needed is a female voice in the Vatican.  I am not saying that they should be made priests (although I think that the possibility should be examined), but rather priests should seek the advice of nuns and other religious women who deal with members of the church on a more regular basis than the priests holed up in the Vatican do.  For now, however, we will have to deal with the manly priests doing their manly thing, putting their foot down in the face of adversity and laying down the law for all to follow.  After all, they know everything, right?  In my experience, women have more capacity to follow change and keep an open mind than men do.  Something just doesn't seem right in the Vatican and perhaps it is the lack of women.  Yet all my talk about priests getting women's opinions won't amount to anything because there seems to be a closed minded approach to everything done in the Church.  Maybe one day a liberal more along the lines of Pope John Paul II will take the reins and drive the Catholic Church into the future.  Until that day, however, we will have to deal with our conservative leadership, bundled onto their slow moving ox and cart and hope that they don't get stuck in a rut they can't get out of.  We shall see what happens.  I myself will continue to go to my church, mostly because it leans heavily towards the liberal sect and doesn't alienate its members.  Lets all hope for some growth and true change that can bring our Church back from the 16th century into modern times. 

Morning Run

I started running yesterday, not in an attempt to get away from yellow jackets, but rather to try and keep myself in shape.  I guess turning thirty, while not bothering me in terms of the age, made me realize that my body is getting older and will probably start changing pretty swiftly unless I take action to make sure that it doesn't.  While I eat a mostly healthy diet, its not perfect, and as such I guess I feel the need to run a little to make sure that the unhealthy parts of my diet don't start taking their toll.  The most unhealthy parts of my diet would have to be the occasional candy bar (usually Snickers, Twix, or Kit Kat) that I get from The Home Depot when I am buying supplies and the beer that I enjoy drinking in the evenings.  I figure that by running instead of walking my dogs in the morning, I can balance things out a little bit more. (I know I could cut out the candy bars, but the beer is a different story altogether)  Now before I move on, let me be clear and state that I have never been a fan of running.  Even when I was back in high school and had to run as part of training for sports, I would often times do the least amount possible or find short cuts on the runs we had to do together.  Perhaps I never enjoyed running because no one really ever taught me how to run.  (I know, one foot in front of the other at a more rapid pace than walking)  In addition, whenever I have had the bright idea to start running before, I would always go over board, run much farther than my body was capable of, and end up being overly sore and un-motivated within a few days.  I am hoping things will be different this time and I can perhaps keep running for more than a week. 

Even now, I am still not a big fan of running.  Although I must say, the last two mornings have left me feeling pretty good after my runs despite the shortness of breath after not having run a sustained distance in years.  I figured the best way to start would just be to jog/run my morning walk route which isn't terribly long.  By doing this, I hopefully won't overstress my muscles and consequently get tired of running in a week.  The only part I have left to figure out is how to get both of my dogs running at the same pace.  My younger one, Aspen, I have no problem with.  He is a fitness machine built solely of muscle and skin and can match any pace I set from a jog to a full out sprint (which I probably won't be doing anytime soon).  My older dog, Princess, is a different story all together.  She is about five years old now, and while not fat by any means, she is not exactly a "fitness machine".  Currently, Princess lags behind a little bit, forcing me to go a little slower than I want to.  She is capable of keeping one of two paces, walking or running, nothing in between.  Unfortunately, I am not at the point where I can go fast enough for her to run along with me and I am not going slow enough for her to walk like she wants to.  As such, she likes to trot along, never quite up to my speed, and keep my body almost at an angle while running.  I am hoping that as I keep on running (hopefully), that she will get into better shape and be able to keep up with Aspen and myself.  I will give her a week to get her muscles adjusted and toned up before I figure out an alternative to taking her running with me.  I am guessing that her muscles are sore because yesterday she did much better than she did this morning.  Oh well, we shall see what happens.

It was interesting to see the difference between my two dogs yesterday morning.  After we returned from our run, Aspen wasn't even breathing hard and looked like he could go for another mile or two.  Princess and I on the other hand were drenched in sweat and breathing hard.  Even with the run, Aspen needed another walk yesterday evening with my wife after which he still had a mountain of energy.  In any case, I did actually enjoy my run yesterday (just don't go telling too many people out there).  I am going to wait to see till later how I feel after this mornings run.  At this point, I am still waiting for the caffeine from my coffee to kick in before I figure out how I feel.  I hope I can see this running thing through and don't come up with too many excuses why I can't go running in the morning.  For now, at least, my muscles aren't that sore although I feel the fact that I have been running for two days now.  Luckily, I didn't decide to start running after sitting in a desk at work all day for years.  Being up on my feet, and climbing up and down ladders all day helps keep my leg muscles in decent shape.  I figure for now, I will keep my running route restricted to the same one I use for walking.  Maybe next week I will increase the distance and see how I feel.  The only issue with the increase is that I can't do it incrementally.  I will have to either double my distance or keep to my walking route, there just aren't that many options around my house for too many different routes.  We shall see next week what happens and if I make it that far with my new running program, I will let you know how it goes.   

When the Yellow Jackets Come

Yes, I am going to talk about the pesky flying insects called yellow jackets, cousin of the honey bee yet much more aggressive.  For those of you who don't know, I am allergic to yellow jackets.  My allergy has not reached the point yet where my throat starts closing up when I get stung, however, my reaction has gotten progressively worse.  I have only been stung by yellow jackets a handful of times in my life, the first time being when I was maybe ten years old.  That first time brought about very minor swelling around the sting if I remember correctly.  The time after that, the location of the sting brought about swelling about the size of a small pancake.  After that, my whole forearm swelled up.  The last time, and by far the worst, I was stung on my pinkie finger.  To start with, my hand looked like someone took a latex glove and blew into it almost to the point of exploding.  On top of that, I became covered in hives and my head felt a little woozy.  Needless to say, I don't want to get stung again because frankly, I don't know what will happen to me.  I know I should carry an epi-pen, but I don't.  I should also have Benadryl with me at all times, but I don't have that either.  I guess it boils down to the fact that I count on not getting stung ever again (even though I know that I very well could get stung again.)  Despite the fact that I have been stung a number of times and my reaction has gotten progressively worse, I still don't inherently fear yellow jackets.  That could be because the only times I have been stung, every single time,  was after I stepped on a nest of theirs.  I have never had a yellow jacket simply sting me for no reason and that perhaps is why I don't fear them.  That being said, I do respect them and give them as much distance as possible. 

Which brings me to the whole point of why I am writing about yellow jackets today.  As a painting contractor, I deal with yellow jackets on almost every exterior job I work on.  That could be because out of all the bees out there, it seems that yellow jackets love to make their nests anywhere on a house that offers some modicum of protection from the elements.  Normally, I leave them alone and they leave me alone.  I have found that if I treat them with a little respect, remain calm around them, and don't get in their way; they don't bother me.  If I simply ignore them, they will fly right by my head without even noticing or acknowledging me.  So with all that being said, the job I am working on right now has me a little unnerved.  The job is painting a mechanics garage.  I think that there are more nests on this one building than on any I have ever been on before.  To keep estimates reasonable, I would have to say that there are about ten yellow jacket nests on or around the roof of this building.  Each nest probably has at least 10-15 yellow jackets residing in it and during the hottest part of the day, you could look in the air and easily see 20-30 yellow jackets flying around at any one time.  Picture that and then picture me up on a ladder in the midst of all them trying to paint.  There are times when I will lean my ladder against the building and see 2-4 yellow jackets fly around the top of it trying to figure out what foreign object was just placed next to their nest.  And yes, I then have to climb up the ladder and paint.  Normally I have no issue remaining calm around yellow jackets, however this job is testing my ability to remain calm and not freak out around them. 

Yesterday had to have been the worst day yet.  The first incident happened when I was up on a ladder about to come down and move over a few feet.  As I turn my head to look down, there appears a yellow jacket about an inch from my left eye.  I gave it a little swat, felt it hit my thumb nail, and I quickly made my way down the ladder to walk away for a minute or two.  Close call.  The second freaked me out even more.  As I was carefully moving my ladder between a fence and a building (where the yellow jackets love to congregate) I guess I disturbed one of them resting.  It flew around me a little so I placed the ladder down and went to walk away for a second.  As I was walking away, I felt the yellow jacket land on my ear.  Not exactly what I was looking for, so I ducked my head quickly (no swatting that time) and luckily the yellow jacket flew off and left me to my own devices.  Two close calls in the space of about 15 minutes.  Yes, it sucks, but it is part of job and outside of trying to hunt down all the yellow jackets nest and killing them, there is not much I can do.  Most of the nests appear to be larger in size and as they are not in the way of my painting, I would rather just leave them alone.  There are a few nests I will have to take care of as they are directly in the way of my painting and will probably cause me issues at some point.  Whatever the case may be, I am going to make my way to a pharmacy today and buy some Benadryl at least.  The oddest thing about the yellow jackets is that they are the only type of bee I have that bad of a reaction to.  I have been stung by other more friendly bees and have not had even close to the reaction that I have had with yellow jackets.  In any case, I will just have to do my best to deal with them and get the job done as quickly as possible.  Then I get to go to another exterior job and see what kind of yellow jacket nests I get to deal with there. 

A Chef I Will Never Be

This past Friday my kickball team had a fundraiser to try and offset the costs of making the trip out to Las Vegas for the national championship of kickball.  I know, most people probably still find it hard to believe that kickball is as big as it is or that there is actually a national championship called the Founder's Cup.  Regardless, my team is trying to make it out to Vegas to compete.  So back to the fundraiser that was set up for Friday evening.  To be fair, I helped out very little in the actual planning or the setup for the event, however, I feel I did my part when I got there to help out.  What exactly was the fundraiser that we had?  It was a craft beer fest at Anna Liffey's in New Haven.  We managed to get almost everything donated except the food.  There was a selection of about 35 different beers to be tried, a great band playing, and hamburgers and hot dogs for all.  Total price of admission for three hours of all you can eat and drink?  $20.  The turnout was fantastic with well over a hundred people showing up for the beer and food.  The downside?  I was one of the two people cooking all the hamburgers and hot dogs.  Having not helped plan or setup for the event, I wanted to help out however I could.  When I asked how I could help out, I was told that I could cook burgers.  Sounds simple enough, right?  Well, it would have been had a large grill been provided for me to cook on.  Instead, I got to use your average home size grill that just happened to only have three out of four burners working.  Couple that with the searing heat that we had on Friday and it was an evening not to be forgotten soon. 

So how did the grilling go?  Well, in all honesty, it went quite slowly.  Once people saw the grill get fired up and the food get brought outside, a line started forming.  What started with two people quickly grew to 20, then 30.  I looked at the line and cringed.  The burgers were completely frozen when I went to grill them so right off the bat we experienced a minor setback.  On top of that, we could only fit about 10 burgers over the heat at a time in order to leave enough room for the hot dogs.  The first burgers took about 10 minutes to get out and when they went out, only 5 out of ten were ready.  You should have seen the look of the people in line as we placed five hot burgers on a tray in front of 30 people.  I am just glad that we didn't have a riot on our hands.  I could feel the look of anxiousness that people had with the smell of hot burgers and dogs wafting by them and only a few burgers at a time going out to the line.  I tried not to look at anyone, just focus on the burgers and apologize for the wait.  Its not like I could have seen many people anyway with the smoke billowing constantly into my eyes from the grill.  At times it felt like I was constantly crying just because of the smoke.  The only saving grace was that people saw we were not professional cooks and had only a regular size grill at our disposal so their angst was diminished somewhat.  I focused on the burgers while my friend focused on the hot dogs.  We got all the food cooked, somehow, in about 2.5 hours.  That's 160 burgers and at least that many dogs.  I have never cooked that many burgers in my life before at one sitting and don't really feel a desire to do it again any time soon (especially on a smaller grill). 

That being said, however, I would volunteer again to cook, I just hope I don't need to for another year or so.  After Friday evening, I discovered that there is absolutely no part of me that ever wants to be a chef.  Not that I ever considered a career in the food industry to begin with, but the event Friday sealed the deal for me.  No hot kitchens for this guy.  It was bad enough standing in front of a hot grill on a hot day for 2.5 hours.  Luckily it was evening and it wasn't nearly as hot as it was earlier in the day.  The other benefit to being behind the grill was that people kept on bringing us beer.  After a while of dealing with the little shots of beer that you get at a beer fest, I decided it would be beneficial to both myself and my fellow cook if we bargained with the beer vendors for whole bottles.  We would bring them freshly cooked food if we could get a whole bottle of good beer.  It worked wonders and in addition to having the little tastings of beer being provided to us by random people, we also had full bottles from which to drink and help alleviate some of the heat (at least it made it feel less oppressive).  So all in all, the evening went well.  The lesson learned from the event, at least for me, is to make sure that there is a grill big enough to accommodate the cooking needs for over a hundred people.  A small, home size grill with only three out of four burners is not recommended.  Oh well, whats done is done and all I know is that you will never find me with a white apron laboring in a hot kitchen over someone else's food unless it is for my family (and maybe for another event like the one we had Friday). 

Not Walking Yet

I figured that as I am about to talk about my son, I would start everything off by saying that no, he is not walking yet.  My wife and I both feel however that it is time for him to take his first steps on his own.  Trust me, we are not in any way trying to push our son to develop faster than he is, however, we do want to save our backs a little from the perpetual hunched over position we have take in order to walk our son around.  OK, let me correct that last statement just a little, I want to save my back from being hunched over all the time walking our son around.  He has grown to the point where my wife is able to stand up straight while still holding our son's hands to walk him around.  With my height exceeding that of my wife's, I do not get the same luxury that she does.  In any case, we both feel that our son walking will be both a benefit and a detriment.  On the plus side, we won't have to carry him around quite as much when he starts walking (notice I said "quite as much").  On the down side, we both have the feeling that once he starts going he won't stop.  As it is, he is getting closer and closer to running while holding our hands.  On occasion we test him a little to see how close he is to walking on his own by taking one of our hands away while in the process of walking him.  Most of the time he will stop dead in his tracks and look up and reach for our absent hand in order to continue walking.  However, there will times later in the day when he is tired and not paying as much attention when he will simply keep on walking a few steps while holding on to only one hand.  I know, don't push our son to walk too soon, but we can't help but to test the walking waters every so often. 

Overall, there is not that much new to report in regards to our son.  He is still the happy go lucky baby that we have known and continues to sparkle and shine.  The only real advances that he is making is in regards to his talking.  It seems that every week or so now he adds some new consonants to his vocabulary.  Most of the time it seems that his words always end in a.  He has da, ba, ma, ha, fa, ta, la, so far.  I may be missing a few, but those seem to constitute the bulk of his vocabulary  at this point.  It is so much fun to walk him around, to see a big smile on his face while he is walking, and to hear a continuous stream of ba ba ba ba ba, or some other string of babbling.  He is getting quicker with his talking as well, stringing together his little monosyllabic utterances at a more brisk pace.  I personally can't wait to hear him start talking and expressing himself outside of the babbling.  While I know that it is all cute and what not, I am ready to hear what is going on inside that little head of his.  I want to be able to have him tell me what he is thinking and to start asking his perpetual questions so I can begin my perpetual answers.  That is one part that I can't wait for, the introduction to him of everything in the word via the English language.  As it is, he already responds better to explanations than he does to single words.  Let me explain that one a little more.  As I have mentioned before, our son loves to explore everything and normally that exploration involves him slapping whatever object is in front of him with the palm of his hand, over and over and over again.  Well, his actions necessitated our introduction of the word "no" to him as he sometimes tries to slap fragile objects.  What we have noticed is that if we tell him no followed by an explanation of why he shouldn't do something, he listens better than if we just repeat no till we our sick of hearing ourselves say "no".  I don't know why he responds better, but he will actually stop what he is doing if he gets an explanation most of the time.  Granted, there are times when he will totally disregard what we are saying (probably because he doesn't understand us yet) and continue his actions till we pull him away, but more often than not, he will stop. 

Perhaps one of the cutest things he does now is to take all the clothes out of a given drawer in his dresser.  When we are playing in his room, he will go up to his dresser, open one of the middle drawers, and begin pulling whatever clothes are in there out.  He almost never settles for the bottom drawer, but rather the middle one which he can hold and stand at.  Once he is in position; drawer open a little, him standing looking in, he begins his launching process.  The process starts with him grabbing the closest piece of clothing and launching it behind him, normally up and over his head.  On occasion he will look over at us with a wide eyed, "look at what I'm doing" look while at other times he is content simply staring into the drawer at the remaining contents that he has yet to remove.  Once he gets moving, the clothes start flying, left hand, right hand, till the drawer is completely empty.  After he is done removing all the clothes, he moves on, finding some other object to play with.  The funniest part comes when you try to put the clothes away.  If he hears you close the drawer after putting the clothes away, he will drop whatever he is doing and come back over to the dresser to begin the removal process once more.  All this leaves me wondering what is next when it comes to our son.  Whatever it is, I am sure it will be exciting (it might even be walking).  For now, I will simply enjoy his babbling, clothes removing, almost walking antics as he edges closer to the ten month mark and almost his first birthday. 

Inadvertent Sleep In

Ever have one of those days when you wake up to see that you somehow either turned off your alarm clock or it wasn't working because you don't remember hearing it go off?  Yep, I am having one of those days right now as I woke up an hour and half after my alarm clock.  Needless to say, this post will be mighty short and sweet today as I now need to run around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get myself ready to go to work in about an hour.  I know that may seem like a lot of time for some people, but I am one who likes to take my time waking up and not rush things too much.  Guess I will be rushing today.  Till tomorrow when I will hopefully wake up to my alarm clock, have a great day.