It seems, at least to me, that there is only so much that can be said about lying politicians, world conflicts, and environmental issues without seeming somewhat repetitive and increasing boredom in the process. Unless things drastically change, politicians will continue to bicker and lie, sending our country on a downwards spiral and unless people drastically change, the temperature across the world will continue to rise and conflicts will increase in number. Hence, I am going to stray away from the news once again and talk about the one constant that will remain regardless of what happens in the world, the family unit. After all, the family is what perpetuates society from a basic level and is also the core unit of any country. Without a family, one could argue, we wouldn't exist. So what is the basis of any family? I would posit that any family, anywhere in the world is first started with love between two people, whether it be a physical, mental, or spiritual. Yes, I am portraying love in overly vague way, but without digressing and labeling attraction as any other form, I will use love as the basis. Without a doubt, any love starts with some sort of attraction between two people and some would not even call that love. But I would. Any one person can feel attracted to many individuals, but why then do most of us end up spending most of our lives with one other person? It is because any strong attraction, if felt between two people, builds to love and can be sustained. When a family grows, i.e. children are born, then that love also grows and spreads to envelope those new additions to the family. The family unit grows, expands, and eventually grows more. Within that family unit, while love should be a constant, there will on occasion be disputes and arguments, trials and tribulations. These rough times, as we know them, are not due to a faltering in love as I see it, but are due to the fact that fundamentally, we are all unique human beings and will not always agree on everything. When any argument does arise, there is only one way to inevitably resolve issues and move past them to grow the family in strength and love. That way is to put aside any ego we may carry with us and seek to understand the other person for who they are.
So what about our ego? Are ego's even necessary? I would state definitively that any person's ego is necessary to their survival, however, when an ego grows to large, it can ultimately lead to our demise, and therein lies the issue. Our ego is there to sustain our vision of our own self worth and as such it is an integral part of who we are. Our ego, as defined in the dictionary, is our consciousness of our own identity and also, an inflated feeling of pride in our superiority to others. It is this second aspect of our ego that can inevitably get us into trouble and perpetuate any issue we have with others. Is anyone superior to anyone else? Some people would argue that we are based upon our intellect, our physical ability, or our overall ability to succeed and overcome adversity. If we take this view, which I even do at times, we are in essence saying that while we are all unique individuals, there are some of us who are lacking and thus unworthy. However, everyone of us has a purpose in life and as such, will not have the exact same abilities as those around us. Where one person is "lacking", another may excel and so on. In my mind, what we must all strive to do is recognize this fundamental difference between every person and seek to diminish our feeling of superiority. If we in any way portray that feeling of superiority to others, it will shut them down and make them feel smaller than they really are and perhaps degrade their own ego. If we can seek to understand more fully our own identity and where our identity places us in relation to others, then we can ultimately build our understanding of humans as unique individuals and move forward with mutual respect instead of a steadfast superiority complex. If we can all achieve this feeling of mutual respect based upon our understanding of our own identity, then any issue that arises between two individuals can be resolved much more quickly as there is already a basis of acceptance to move forward with. (I will be the first to admit that I struggle continuously with this, but since I recognize it, I can work on it).
So how does this all tie together, the ego and the family. If we are to understand our own identity and diminish our feeling of superiority anywhere, it should start first within our family as our family is what made us who we are and sustains us through life. Friends come and go, some stay, but we are tied forever to our family and as such should approach everyone within our family with respect, dignity, and understanding. This is perhaps one of the most difficult areas to arrive at with understanding, for if we do not understand who we are, then understanding others within our own family will be incredibly difficult. This is because any individual within a family is more similar to each other than to others outside the family. We share more traits, more attitudes, more likeness, than we do to anyone else and as such we often collide and disagree over petty differences because we can't look past the issue at hand. Any issue that does arise, is viewed similarly by multiple individuals within a family and if we can't understand why others have an issue with it, it is because we don't understand ourselves. In order to resolve any issue within our family, we must fully understand ourselves, or at least seek to understand ourselves. The only way we can move forward with this is by putting aside any feelings of superiority that we may carry. How many times have you heard it said, "I'm nothing like my mother/father", yet are told by others that you are more similar than you may think? I see it within my own family and I am sure that if you look hard it enough, you can see it within yours. Once we can come to understand how similar we are to others within our family, then the sooner we can move to reach a mutual understanding. If for some reason we refuse to see this similarity, we can never resolve any issue. In order to reach this mutual understanding, we must communicate with each other more so than at any other time. Communication, as I have said in other posts, is the only way to resolve anything. (Yes, I struggle with this as well.) In the end, what I feel we must all do, is work to resolve issues within our family and within ourselves whenever they arise. Our family will be there for the duration of our lives. It is solely up to us to ensure that our family unit is cohesive and sound. If issues do arise, do not let them fester and grow. Seek to resolve them for the sake of the family unit. You can not receive any type of love similar to that you will receive from your family. If you take away one member of a family, you are inevitably taking away part of the your love you receive and that in turn diminishes who we are. So today, if there are issues within your family, put aside any feelings of superiority and seek to open channels of communication to resolve these issues.
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