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Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Marriage for All

This could very well be a historical moment in the United States, one in which people of all sexual preferences are allowed to marry.   That is, unless the United States Supreme Court decides to dismiss the case within its hallowed walls to altogether.   But I don't want to talk about the Supreme Court or their decision, rather, I want to talk about the seemingly inherent fear that some people have when it comes to gay marriage, either between two men or two women.   This would never have turned into such a divisive issue if there were no fear present.   In terms of myself, I have nothing against allowing two men or two women to get "married" if that is what they wish to do.  Simply because the historical precedent for marriage has always been held as a union between a man and a woman doesn't mean that we shouldn't alter the definition to include a union between two men and two women.  If we were so hell bent on preventing all sorts of change from "historical precedents" than women would still not be allowed to vote and we would still have slaves.  Those ideas, long ago abolished as diminutive, harmful, racist, biased, and so on and so forth have turned out to be extremely important changes to our society.  When those issues came before the Supreme Court, there was fear, living palpable fear that society would be altered in such a way that it would forever impinged upon and allowed to slide into the depths of hell.  Well, I would say that since the decisions to free slaves and allow women to vote were passed, society has flourished with more inclusion, more open ideas and discussions, and a new energy.  Yet, this decision now before the Supreme Court as to whether to allow men to marry men or women to marry women or to entirely forbid them from doing so doesn't even come close to the momentous decisions that were made in the past.  What exactly is the fear that people have of allowing men or women to marry their loved ones of the same sex?  Do some people honestly think that our country will be over run with homosexual marriages?  Or is this just a taboo subject for so many that to consider such a change in the definition of marriage would alter their lives in some way? 
 
Personally, I don't see any harm that could possibly come from allowing same sex marriages to be legal.  I know my Church, the Catholic Church, doesn't agree, but so be it, I don't necessarily hold every belief that they say I should hold.   In an article I was reading this morning about the possibility of the Supreme Court dismissing the case, one of the arguments that a lawyer had against allowing same sex marriages to be legal was that the main purpose of marriage is procreation.  Really?  Since when has marriage been all about having and raising children?  Marriage, first and foremost, is a union between two people who love each other and wish to spend the rest of their lives together.  That is where all marriages start, with love.  If two people love one another with everything they have, regardless of their sexual preferences, then marriage is normally the next step, as long as its legal for all.  If we start to put limits on who can get married, what marriage is really about, then and only then will we doom society to a slippery slope marriage regulation.  If we start to say that marriage is only about having and raising kids, then people who get married over the age of 50 with no plans on having children should have their marriages nullified because it doesn't fit within the nice little envelope this one lawyer is trying to put marriage in.  Marriage can never fit into one little envelope and the more we try to keep it within the boundaries of what we believe to be true, the more it will restrain all of us form truly reaching our full potential.  If we allow same sex marriages to be legal, is there a fear that some people in "traditional" marriages will get divorced so that they can marry their gay lover?  I highly doubt it.  Rather, there is a fear that all of a sudden we will have to re-think the way we look at marriage, not as a union between a man and a woman, but as a union between two people, period. 
 
Most people have a tendency to resist change regardless of its nature.  Simply look at the work force and people who are unemployed.  How many of those people struggle to alter their line of work, to find something different than what they have been doing their whole lives.  There are a plethora of people out there who know what they know and if presented with something different, shy away from it because it requires them to "change".   Change, most of the time, is a good thing.  It alters the course of events, keeps things fresh, and perpetuates our ability to adapt.  If we have learned nothing else from history, it is that we need to constantly adapt to changing circumstances whether they are within our control or not.  If we do not change, we stagnate, and if we stagnate we die.  I hardly think that this is such a momentous issue as to doom marriages of all kinds, but it is time to re-think the way we look at marriages.  I know for some, this is a very momentous time and I do not wish to take away from that, but if we look at the overall scheme of things, I am sure that same sex marriages will be legalized; if not this year, then next, and if not next year, then the year after.  At this point, it is only a matter of time.  There will be people who resist just as there were people who resisted the abolishment of slavery and the inclusion of women in the voting process.  Those people will get old and die and eventually we will be left with people who accept the idea.  This is not an issue that will be resolved over night as much as some people would like it to be.  The concept of legalizing same sex marriages is going against over 2000 years of history and anything that seeks to change such an ingrained concept will be fought tooth and nail.  However, eventually it will come to pass.  Perhaps the first step that anyone opposed to this idea needs to take is to look at themselves and their own views.  Why are they so afraid? Why?

1 comment:

  1. I am really hoping that the Supreme Court rules on the right side of history here...

    ReplyDelete