It used to be that families actually had family reunions; large affairs drawing extended family together to celebrate, re-connect, and share with each other their lives and what they have been up to. Some families still do have large reunions, but they seem to be a vanishing artifact, only a few generations away from disappearing all together. On my side of the family, I personally can't remember ever going to an actual reunion. The closest event that acts as a substitute for a reunion on my side is normally a wedding or a funeral and even those have lost their draw on the extended family. When I was a teenager, I remember weddings and funerals in part as family gatherings, enabling us to see extended family that often times I didn't even know about. Now it seems that fewer and fewer extended family members are able or willing to travel and see their family. This is not to say that families don't care anymore, but with family members taking jobs wherever they are available, the close knit families of generations past who used to all live within one town are gone. There are still exceptions to the rule, families who remain relatively close in distance to each other and can more easily have these large gatherings where they are able to actually learn who their family members are. My wife's family is one of them. We went to a family reunion a few years back at which there were probably close to a hundred or more family members in attendance. The only way the gathering was held was because most of her side of the family still lives relatively close together and they have been able to keep in touch with each other and still gather on occasion. But from what I heard, the family reunion I attended was small in comparison to reunions of the past.
So what is it that is diminishing the draw of these reunions. Is it that the generations who put in all the effort to keep track of family and where they went is now aging and nearing the end of their lives? Is the distance factor with families "dispersing" across the country and creating new families of their own coming into play? Or is the hectic pace of life that often times keeps both husband and wife working in order to support the family leaving little time to plan or execute a family gathering on a large scale? I think it has to do with all these factors and probably more. I think perhaps the two biggest factors are the lack of time these days and the distance. I personally feel that people still care about their extended families, they just can't find the time within their busy lives to gather together. The lack of time, I feel, trumps all other reasons. In generations past when all that was necessary was one income to support a family, the husband or wife (usually wife) staying at home had extra time to keep in touch with family, track their whereabouts, and invest time in gathering them all together if not once a year at least every few years. That coupled with the fact that families used to live at most a few towns apart added to the ease of gathering. In this hectic day and age when both husband and wife are usually working, sometimes living hundreds of miles away from their extended family, gathering together is a monumental task. Will family reunions ever become a staple of family life again? Unfortunately I doubt it. Unless this current generation is able to gather their extended families information and remain in contact with them, reunions may become a thing of the past. One would think it would be relatively easy stay in contact with extended family now via the Internet, facebook, and other social media resources; however not all family members utilize those resources. Further, unless there is effort put in now to gather all family information from grandparents and the aging generation that used to hold family so dear, a lot will be lost.
To me it seems, an added complication to this whole issue is that the younger generation doesn't care as much about their extended family as maybe they should. It isn't necessarily that they mean to not care, but if they have never had the opportunity to meet their extended family, they have no tangible reason to care about them. They don't wonder periodically how their 3rd cousin is doing or how their grandmothers sister is fairing. And perhaps another reason that reunions are becoming a thing of the past is that we now feel the need to have larger houses with more accoutrements driving families to work longer hours and spend less and less time at home. It is also the flight of families into the suburbs from the cities, driving families farther and farther apart that has a lot to do with diminishing family reunions. In any case, regardless of the reasons for families not gathering like they used to, it is kind of sad that we are losing that connection with our extended families. Even if there was a commitment to gather every five years, made by all family members, at least families would be able to gather. It can't just be one person any more that handles the coordination and the contacting of extended family, it must be a concerted effort by all involved to remain in contact and put in the effort to bring families together. With time being tight as it is, the onus is now on all family members to remain in contact with each other. Maybe I am wrong and family reunions will return. The only thing that might enable this to happen (and as horrible as it is) is the recession we are currently dealing with. With some families finding it necessary to move closer together again to find the support they need to make it through the tough times, connections are being re-established on some fronts. This isn't the case for every family and I am fully aware that the recession also makes it harder for families to gather. But who knows, maybe one day we will return to large family gatherings and celebrating the diverse lives we live.
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