If this is your first time visiting, welcome. If you are returning again, welcome back. While this blog was originally not going to be about me or my life, it seems to be morphing to include more of myself and experiences. I will still strive to add a different perspective to the news and events around the world that impact everyone's life,however, I will focus more attention on issues that relate more tangibly to our personal lives. We all live in a world that is increasingly interconnected yet it seems a lot of people are turning inwards, shying away from human interaction. Lets step away from ourselves and see what we can do to make a difference. There are ads on this page and 65 cents of every dollar earned will be donated towards helping the homeless. If you like what you are reading, please share it with your friends.

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Apple : Tree

(I started writing this on Tuesday, but that day our daughter woke up super early and yesterday, it was my son's turn, so two days in the making, I finally finish). I'm going to take a step away from talking about diabetes today.  It will be a recurring theme as it has become part of our life now, but there is plenty else to talk about in my life that doesn't relate to diabetes.  I'm sure most parents can relate to what I will talk about today, the similarity of children to their parents, not only in looks, but also in mannerisms, emotional reactions, and demeanor.  I find that the current age of my children happens to capture this quite clearly as they are, at 3&5, learning who they are and continuing the development of their own unique personality.  Yet, despite my son and daughter developing their own unique personalities, there are still a lot of similarities to my wife and I that make us chuckle and sometimes cringe when we see them exhibit them.  Our son, in many ways, takes after his mother while our daughter takes after me.  This isn't a comment on their looks at all as depending on which parent our kids are around, people think they look like that parent.  Rather, it is their emotional state and quirky persona that at times mimics that of my wife and I.  My wife and I like to point out these little similarities when they pop up to each other with a simple phrase, "apple, tree".  At least that is the one I use for my wife and son, when it comes to our daughter and myself, we switch it a bit and say, "pear, tree".  Usually we utter these little phrases when our kids are acting out a bit in a way that seems all to familiar or that has undertones of a either my wife or I when we are frustrated or angry.

I find that these similarities, while humorous when they are occurring, can also act as a kind of mirror for my wife and I as parents.  This mirror, at least for myself, is an opportunity to reflect for a minute or two on myself and how I act and carry myself.  As I am sure all parents know, children pick up on everything that their parents say and do and will mimic and repeat them as they are developing their own unique personality.  So when I see something in our children that I am all too familiar with as it emanated from my to begin with and was then picked up by our children, I try to take a second and see if it is something that is beneficial or detrimental.  Often times, I find it to be either beneficial or somewhere in the neutral territory in between.  Both of our children's innate stubbornness is something that regardless of how hard my wife and I try, will never be altered.  My wife and I are both stubborn by nature and changing that in our children would be impossible.  Plus, I don't think stubbornness is necessarily a bad thing, it is more of how we use and exhibit that stubbornness in everyday life.  The back end is something that we can work with them on.  The mirror of our children is an invaluable "tool" if we use it correctly.  It is an early chance to alter how we as parents do things  in order to establish a solid framework for our children later on.  The emotional breakdowns, if we are attune to it, can be made easier based on how we react to them and the experiences we have dealing with them.  Our own emotional breakdowns can serve as tools for us to teach our children how to better deal with circumstances that are beyond their control.  The same goes for angry outbursts that they have as children because something doesn't go their way.  I know with our daughter, there is much I can relate to with her angry outbursts as I used to have them as well (and might on a very rare occasion have now).  It is all about using our experience to help our children through their own experiences.

The apple really never does fall too far from the tree, at least in our family.  Parenting is an experience that is both enlightening and frightening at the same time.  We get to see miniatures of ourselves, the good, the bad, and on a rare occasion, the ugly.  All in all, at least in our household, most of it is good.  Every day we make the effort to spend time with our children in the afternoon so that they have us as guides to navigate them through this thing we call life.  Money is not nearly important to us as time with our children.  We can't be good parents if we don't spend the time with our children to learn who they are and how we can help them.  And by spending the time with them, we can use them as mirrors of ourselves, see how we need to change our own behavior in relation to them, and move forward hopefully in a more positive and meaningful way.  

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