Sometimes my wife and I look at each other after seeing our daughter zip through the room on one of her "missions" and agree that if she had been the first one born, she might have been an only child. While our children may share the same parents and have certain things in common such as a love of building with blocks, reading books, doing puzzles, and playing outside; there are some big differences in their personalities. Our son tends to be a little more laid back whereas our daughter is a high energy, on the run type of little girl. Almost everywhere she goes, she has to go there running. Even if it is just to the other side of the room to get a toy, she has to run there, get the toy, and run back. Sometimes it even means running to get a stool so she can turn on a light and then running back with the stool in tow, bouncing on the floor behind her. While both of our children are becoming independent little children, our daughter seems to kick it up a notch higher than her brother ever did. They both will do everything in their power to complete a task by themselves, but her perseverance is a touch higher than her brothers and her determination more resolute. This is all well and good at this age and to be honest, it will serve her very well as she grows older, but accompanying this determination and perseverance is a high degree of stubbornness. In her efforts to do things on her own, she also must ensure that things are done her way and her way only. If she doesn't like her parents' criticism of the way she is doing things, even if it means she could hurt herself in the process, she resorts to two options; ignoring her parents as if we didnt' exist or crumpling to the floor, curling in the fetal position, and burying her head in her hands. It's as if she is trying to make everything around her go away and if she stays that way long enough, she feels it just might work.
Unfortunately, I can relate to that stubbornness. As a child, I had a tendency to want to do things my way. Hell, who am I kidding, I still have a tendency to do things my way and in our daughter, I can see myself. I am still a stubborn man, drawing heavily on Polish and Ukrainian roots to feed that stubbornness, and will need to seriously alter how I approach our daughter as she gets older and approaches her teenage years. Most of the time, I love the fact that our daughter is stubborn and head strong. I can foresee many benefits in the years to come as it pertains to her life and her dealing with it. She won't get pushed around by others or forced to do things she doesn't want to. I feel that peer pressure will have less effect on her than it would if she wasn't as stubborn. I also think that once she figures out what she wants to do, she will go and get it done. However, along with every yin comes a yang, and I can also foresee potential issues she might run in to. One issue is school. Seeing as she likes to do things her way, she is going to need to get the right teachers as she progresses through school, teacher's who can work with her and accept her brazen stubbornness and outgoing personality. She will need teachers who don't mind being peppered incessantly with questions about each and every little thing. She will also need to learn how to let others be themselves and not always try to get them to do her bidding. Yet, she is only 3 and many things can change between now and her teenage years. I know one of the things that will have to change is the way I deal with her. Because she is so similar to me, we have a tendency to throw down and have a battle of the wills from time to time. I will need to learn a whole lot more patience as she grows older. Despite her stubbornness, I love everything about her and wouldn't change her a bit, I just need to work on myself a bit so that I don't throw her out of the house when she is 15.
With our daughter, her mouth usually doesn't stop working. If she has no one to talk to, she is perfectly content having a conversation with herself. A little while ago, I was watching both kids at home while my wife was out doing something. (Another thing about our daughter is she loves to clean, this is important for the following story). I had our daughter go into the bathroom to wash her hands. About 10 minutes later, the water was still running and she wasn't out yet. So I crept over to the bathroom and just barely peeked my head around the door to see what she was doing. Lo and behold, she was standing on the little stairs that I made so both her and her brother could reach the bathroom sink and she was scrubbing the countertop around the sink with a sponge. While doing this, she was having a conversation with herself about what she was doing. It was all quiet and just loud enough so she could hear her own voice, but it went something like this, "Have to scrub the counter, oh, missed a spot over here, its nice and wet, need more water on the sponge, ooo, the water is so cold, so cold, chilly, ok, scrub a little more, still missed a spot over here, cleaning, looking good." At that point, she looked over and saw me watching her and a goofy grin swept over her face. She just doesn't stop talking and I absolutely love it, most of the time. The only times I don't are when I man trying to read her a book and every other word out my mouth brings a question out of hers. I even ask her to let me finish at least the page and I will answer all the questions she has. This lasts for about one sentence before she voices another question. Patience, patience, patience is key. Luckily I have some time to work on that.
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