The Year of Weddings

Since I happen to be on a wedding theme, I suppose I will continue with it, at least for today.  So far this year, my wife and I have been to two weddings.   Preceding the two weddings already attended were two bachelor parties, the only similarity between the two being large amounts of alcohol consumed.   But I'm not here to talk about bachelor parties today except to highlight the extra time that accompanies being involved in weddings of friends and family.   The two weddings we have been to so far have been fantastic.  They were both joyous occasions filled with friends and family coming together to celebrate a new beginning for two people, marriage.  It is refreshing to see marriage in its infancy, with two people deeply in love with each other and surrounded by friends and family supporting them.  Plus, let's not forget the party to celebrate the new beginning.  I must say, I have never been to a wedding that I did not enjoy.  Before this year, however, it had been a while since I attended a wedding, at least 5 years.  This year, I think I appreciate weddings more as I am less than a week away from my 7th wedding anniversary.  Age also makes a difference.  While the party is always a good time, I find myself looking at the whole event with greater appreciation based upon what I have in my own marriage.  I have a beautiful wife who loves and supports me and looking at newlyweds, I wish and hope that they feel the same way that I do.   Is marriage easy?  Not all the time, but is incredibly rewarding when you put in the work and reap the benefits of a supportive and loving marriage.  

Two weddings down and we still have two to go this year.  We also know of one next year for a friend who was recently engaged.  I am looking forward to both of the weddings that are up and coming, not so much for the party, but for the chance to gather with family and friends.  That is another aspect of weddings that I think some people overlook.  The chance to converse and spend time with people that you many not have seen in a while.  It is a chance to renew friendships and establish closer ties with family.  What could be better than that?  After all, left alone without friends and family, I feel our souls wither a bit.  As humans, we need the connection between each other.  Some need it with more people, some need only a few close friends and family.   Regardless of what we need, a marriage celebration is a chance to re-establish those connections and move forward with love and hope.  So to marriages that hopefully will last a lifetime and to the connections between friends and family that are renewed and strengthened, let's raise our lunchtime sandwiches and toast them with a nice big bite.  

My Son's First Crush

I started my return to writing on a happy note talking about my brother's wedding.  As such, I feel it is only appropriate, at least for today, to keep up the good spirits and keep the tone positive.  I debating diving off the deep end and talking about a subject such as Orlando or Trump, but even just the mere thought of tackling those topics made me agitated.   So those shall sit and simmer for now and instead back to the wedding I return.  

Kelly's grandparents, her uncle and his family, are from Iowa and they all made the trip out to New Hampshire to celebrate the wedding.   What wonderful people they all are.  Personable, down to earth, possessing a love of conversation.   It wasn't long before our two families were mingling, drinking together, and simply getting lost in learning about a new addition to our respective families.  Kelly's Uncle, Mark, has a beautiful daughter named Katie.   She is a teenager with long, flowing red hair and a sweet, caring demeanor.  I didn't get to talk to her much at all over the course of the weekend, but I could see from her interactions with the other kids around, that she was a good person.  At the reception after the wedding on Saturday, I guess our son became her dancing partner and her friend over the course of the evening.  Katie almost in a sense took over the role of babysitter at times.  There were a number of kids who were running around, playing together outside in the actual vineyard, and Katie kept an eye on them if a parent wandered off.  For me, it was such a whirlwind being best man and trying to tend to family, friends, dancing, and being with my brother.  I never got to spend more then 5-10 minutes in one place before I was being called to come talk or take pictures with someone else.   

 

Towards the latter part of the evening when some partygoers had dissipated and the dance floor was packed, there was only one place to find me, and that was dancing.  Concurrently, there was only one place to find my wife and kids as well, dancing.  Our son and daughter would be all over the place, dancing as hard as the most seasoned adolescent or adult.  Our son would go from my parents to my wife and I to Katie.  Whenever my son wasn't with us or my parents, I could rest assured that he was dancing with Katie.  It was so awesome to watch our kids jump into scenario they had never been in before and run with it.  Leading up to the wedding, my wife and I were uncertain of how long our kids would last and it she would have to head back to the hotel early with them.  True to family form, they love to party.  Even our daughter who is approaching two and a half years old was almost unstoppable.  You could see the exhaustion on her face, yet she couldn't stop moving to the music.  Even if she was being held by someone dancing with her, the moment they stopped, she would start bouncing in their arms to the music.  Despite the fun that we might be having at a party, all parties must come to an end.  I vaguely remember when I was about the age of my kids at a wedding, crying when the music stopped and the party had to end.  Well, our son had the same reaction, except it was a double whammy.  When the music stopped and he found out that we would have to go and he couldn't go with Katie, he was crushed.  He was having so much fun dancing that he didn't want it to end.  He almost started crying before everyone left, the depression apparent in the look on his face.  

He fell asleep on the car ride back to the hotel.  When he woke up at the hotel, the first question out of his mouth was, "Where is Katie?"  He couldn't fathom that she had to be elsewhere and that she would have to go home.  He then wanted to get her address so he could send her a letter in Iowa.  It was absolutely adorable.  The next morning, we came down to breakfast and Katie and her family were already down there.  After they were done with their breakfast, Katie stopped by our table to say goodbye to our son and thank him for being her dancing partner.   As any four year old would do in that situation, he shoved a large pancake in his mouth with half of hanging out and blushed.  I almost fell on the floor laughing it was so cute.  Of course, after she left, the first words out his mouth were, "I want to say goodbye".   Really!  "She was just there, you shoved a pancake in your mouth so you couldn't talk, and now you want to say goodbye?" I thought to myself.  There is your four and half your old.   But, we have her address and I'm sure that we will be writing her a letter soon.  Ah, the start of interest in others...can't wait for the teenage years.

My Brother Has Officially Left the Nest

It has been almost  a year since I have written a word here.  What a wonderfully crazy year it has been.  I am going to make an honest attempt to sit down and write here more often and go through some of what has happened.  But first, let's start with perhaps the biggest event over this past year.  While my brother has been out of our parents house for a number of years now and while he still has a good portion of his "stuff" lingering there, he is now married as of three days ago.  My little brother who I used to torment has grown up, found himself a beautiful woman to be his wife, and is forging his way forward.  The years of tormenting are long gone (mostly), and now that we have grown closer, I couldn't be prouder of my baby brother.  Yes, there will always be times when I throw in a quick jab, but now he retaliates, a true Zamachaj trait.  I write today though, not to highlight our mutual tormenting of each other, but rather to highlight this past weekend, my brother's wedding, and how wonderful everything was.  Being closer to my brother now, he chose me to be his best man at his wedding and I couldn't have been more honored.   From the moment our family arrived this past Thursday, it was an event filled weekend with almost every meal full of extended family, new family, and friends.  It was an emotional high that lasted for three days straight.  Sometimes in our daily lives we forget how great it is to be with family, and not just the family we see on a regular basis.  It is great to see all family, but especially to gather with extended family and share our stories in person that have accumulated over the years between last visits.  Sure, we can share stories on Facebook (which I mostly don't do), but they lack that personal touch that comes with face to face interaction.  Sure, we can look at pictures at family and how they have grown and changed, but nothing has quite the same impact of seeing those people in front of you.  Spending time with extended family, at least for me, makes me wish that the extended family wasn't as "extended" as they are.  It makes me wish that the distance between family members was a little more surmountable than the status quo.  Yet, as much as I wish it to be, this is not the world according to Alex.   

The whole weekend was amazing, but let's focus for now on Saturday the 18th, the day my brother made a vow that will forever alter the course of his life.   The weather was perfect for a wedding.  The skies were cloudless, there was almost no humidity, and the temperature peaked at around 80 degrees.  The only thing I would have changed would be my tuxedo.  I don't like them and part of me wishes it was a beach wedding with shorts and Hawaiian shirts.  Yet I had no say for some reason.  The morning of the wedding was relatively relaxing.  I spent some time in the pool with our kids and just lounged around till it was time to squeeze myself into the tux.  The only thing I was stressing about was the speech that I would be giving at the reception about my brother.   I had been thinking about what exactly I was going to say for about a month and true to form, I waited till the last few days to start organizing my thoughts, whittling them down, and putting them in an order that would actually flow and make sense.   After all, it is not the easiest thing to sum up 27 years that you have lived with someone in about 5 minutes.  Yet, about 3 hours before the wedding, I had it down, and would continue to repeat it in my mind right up until the moment I stood up to talk.  

Then a little after lunch, the whirlwind began.  My brother Pete, myself, and the three other groomsmen made our way over to the church to begin pictures.  For the next hour or so we trekked around his alma mater, Saint Anselm, taking pictures in all the key locations; Alumni Hall, the football field (even though my brother never played the sport), and stone face (just look it up).  Then it was off to the on campus church to wait.  We cooled off as much as possible from walking across the entire campus in tuxedos under a midday sun.  Then it was go time.  Wait, wait, wait...cue music, and the last minutes of my brother's single life begin to wind down.   The only thing that would have made me happier throughout the whole ceremony would have been the church installing an air conditioner.  Despite that, it was beautiful.  Family and friends witnessing my brother's marriage, what could be better.  Looking back even a few days later, it was over in a flash and I wasn't even the one getting married.  Before we knew it, we were heading back out for more pictures and the trip to Zorvino's, a vineyard where the reception was to be held.  

More pictures at the vineyard, then almost immediately upon entering, the first dances and my speech.  I felt like I nailed it.  A touch humiliation and a lot of adulation, and we were off to the races again.  Dash here there and everywhere.  For me, I was running around trying to spend time with family, dance, eat, spend more time with family, and dance some more.  By that point, I barely even saw my brother as he made his way around the room talking to all the guests with Kelly.  Every so often, I would catch a glimpse of him, but then he would be off again and I'd be heading in the opposite direction.   I think I am still trying to process that evening as everything still seems a litt bit of a blur.  Before I knew it, the music was winding down and it was time to go.  The brevity of the whole day makes me wish sometimes that we lived in Europe and had one of those wedding receptions that last for three days or more.   The flip side to that, however, would be the longer, harder recovery I would have to go through.  So, I guess in a way, a one day wedding with a few days spending time with family is sufficient.  I am proud of my little brother and wish him nothing but the best.  Luckily, he doesn't live that far away so I will still get to see him and his wife.  I will end this today by sharing with you the blessing I gave my brother in my speech.  "As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way"