The American Myth

What is the American myth?  Essentially, the American myth is that anyone at any point in time can be anything they want.  This myth is built both on our freedom as a society, espousing democratic notions of social mobility and an ability to both question and pursue whatever piques our interest.  Is this myth solid enough in its foundations to be both palpable and real?  I believe it is.  However, I recently heard from a friend that he believes this myth is flat out wrong.  He has stated that you can't be anything you want to be and end up fully satisfied.  Yet, that is not the American myth, but a quantified version of it.  If the myth is quantified as such, then perhaps it is wrong; to an extent.  I believe that if someone truly aspires to attain certain goals and achieves them, then they will achieve a certain sense of satisfaction.  This satisfaction will most likely arise from the fact that they set a goal, did the work to get there, and achieved that goal.  Who wouldn't feel satisfaction after completing a process like that.  For anyone who picks a career, follows the necessary training to enter into that field (whether college or otherwise), and completes that training, there is an inherent satisfaction that comes with it.  That satisfaction may not last, but there will be satisfaction on some level for attaining ones goals.  To me, the American myth is alive and thriving; and no it is not wrong in its basic form.  That being said however, one can elaborate upon the myth, add quantitative factors to it, and thus create a myth that can be wrong or at least wrong for some people. 

In all fairness, I feel that I should explain a little more about what my friend was talking about in deeming the American myth to be wrong.  He feels that as we all have different strengths, ones that form who we are and what we do, then we can not be anything we want to be and be fully satisfied and happy.  With that I agree.  I can not set a goal of being a doctor, go through the school to get there, graduate, and be happy for the rest of my life.  It is just not who I am and my strengths don't lend themselves towards me being a doctor.  In that aspect of quantifying the American myth, I agree.  Yet I can quantify it differently and make the American myth work for me.  Lets say the American myth goes as follows; anyone can be whatever they want to be within their given strengths and be fully satisfied.  If I quantify the myth as such, than it is absolutely correct and applies to everyone.  For I believe that within a person's strengths, there are a number of different avenues that can be traveled down, careers or goals that one can set, that will lead to complete happiness and satisfaction.  Having certain strengths doesn't restrict us to one specific career or avenue, they merely guide us towards a certain career or goal that would be most beneficial to us.  I would even go so far as to say that our strengths are not cemented throughout our lives.  We may have certain strengths that stay with us over a life time, but I firmly believe that as we change and grow older, some strengths wax, some wane, and some are replaced altogether.  To say that we are one set of strengths and they they define us through a lifetime is to say that we will never change, never alter our interests, and never be influenced by forces outside of our control.  As humans, we are a species of change.  There may be certain attributes or strengths that form the core of who we are and as such stay with us through our lifetime, but there are a whole slew of other factors which impact us, push and pull us, and effect change within us even without our knowledge.  But enough about who we are and our identity, we were talking about strengths and the American myth.

I one sense, I don't think that we should quantify the American myth, unless of course we are seeking to use it to our own ends.  For hundreds of years, the American myth of being whoever we want to be has attracted thousands upon thousands of people to this country with a dream.  This is a dream of freedom, of the ability to attain their goals without fear of reprisal.  This myth, simple as it is, has endured because people see it in its basic sense and are attracted to it.  I feel that if people are true to who they are, they recognize that they can not become quite anything they want to be and be happy.  People don't automatically go against their nature and become a surgeon when they are better suited to be a yoga instructor, it just doesn't happen.  Okay, so it might happen from time to time when people aren't in tune with their own strengths, but I feel that more often than not, people follow their inner calling and set their sights on goals and careers that will bring happiness.  Now I may be giving people more credit than they deserve, but at times I tend to be optimistic and look at humanity with a "glass half full" mentality.  Tomorrow I may have a different view of people, but such is my ever changing view, influenced by other's actions, words, and thoughts.  Let us not quantify the American myth, but instead celebrate it as a true sign of our country's freedom, of our ability to become who we want to become.  Let us not get down and dirty with semantics, but instead leave the myth as it is, and let it be held as sacrosanct by people from any walk of life.  To me, the American myth is alive and thriving. 

Tribute to Paul Rocuant

After hearing last Friday that my cousin Paul is expecting a child in October, I felt it was fitting to pay tribute to the man that he has become.  No, Paul himself is not pregnant, but his wife obviously is (just wanted to clarify that).  I have known Paul since I was a wee little munchkin myself and have always known him to be a driven individual.  Once he sets his sights on a goal, there really is no stopping him lest anyone in his way be plowed down in the process.  This is especially true on the basketball court where we used to participate in pick up games when I was younger.  I am not sure how much he plays anymore, but if you could see his 6'4" frame barreling down the court back in the day, there would be no way you would want to step in front of him and try to challenge his approach.  But Paul is more than his commandeering personality.  While being driven to succeed, he also places his family first, ensuring that they have what they need and doing everything he can for them.  Balancing both his successful law firm in Southern Florida and his family must be a difficult task, but he has (as far as I know) handled both really well.  With two amazing children already part of his family from a previous marriage, this new addition to his family will only bring more joy to him, his wife, and to the rest of his family.  I am truly happy for him and only wish him the best. 

There is more to Paul than just his successful law firm and growing family now.  I have fond memories of his younger years to, reaching back to the mid 1980's.  As a teenager at the time, he used to cut the grass at my parents house for a bit and while I was still to young to operate a gas powered mower at the time, I used to do my part by following him around with my plastic toy lawn mower and trying to cut the cut grass.  Or at least I would pretend to be helping.  There was also the time when he was graduating from something, high school I believe, and we went to his graduation party at his parents house.  I still remember this event vividly as I helped my parents with his present.  What they had done was to take a corrugated cardboard box, delicately split the sections in half, stuffed money in the corrugated section, and then re-assembled the box afterwards.  The actual box contained a brick or some other heavy object I believe, but regardless, it was incredibly humorous to see Paul try and find all the money that was hidden away.  But even better than that was the first cake that he went to cut.  While looking like a cake, it was also a cardboard fake up covered in frosting and, you guessed it, stuffed with money.  When he went to cut it, the cake knife simply wouldn't penetrate it and the look of frustration and surprise was priceless.  Everyone there had many a good laugh and that was the essence of our family, gathering together and celebrating.  Even when he went off to law school in Boston, I remember visiting him with my parents, traipsing around the city seeing the sights, and most of all, just enjoying spending time together. 

Now that he lives in Florida, we don't get to see each other as much as we used to.  As is usually the case with families when they move far away, the last few times we got to see each other was over weddings and a funeral.  Thankfully, the funeral came first followed by the more joyous occasions of the weddings.  One of the wedding was ours, held in our backyard, where he was able to come up from Florida to help celebrate.  The following year we were able to fly down and attend his wedding, which although hot and humid (especially for a resident of the North East), was wonderful.  I know that as time progresses and Paul gets to meet this new addition to his family, he will only become more grounded and attentive to those around him.  He is a dedicated and driven individual, a mirror image of his mother in many ways (the late Dina Rocuant), and if his upbringing has anything to do with the way his children turn out, they will be as wonderful as he is.  My only regret is that we don't get to see each other as much as we used to.  Regardless of how many times we do see each other, he will always remain a close cousin and one that I have always looked up to.  I only hope his children find a role model in him as I did when I was younger.  For there is nothing more necessary in this day and age for children to have a solid role model in their lives, especially a father, and I know that Paul is one to be reckoned with.  To many happy years ahead and good times with your children, I pay tribute to you Paul.

Our Son at 5 Months

To be honest, the title is a little deceptive today as our son is a week away from being 5 months old, but since he had his five month doctor's appointment yesterday, I figured that I could get away with it.  But in all seriousness, we couldn't ask for a more healthy baby or one that is as well tempered as he is.  When we got to the doctor's yesterday morning, it was right about his feeding time, but he managed to hold off his screaming until the end of the doctor's appointment.  I think one of the factor's that helped keep him from not screaming was the fact that he didn't get any shots or injections once again.  For those of you who don't know, we are not having are son vaccinated at all.  He received no vaccines in the hospital and will continue to receive no vaccines as long as he is under our care.  What makes this so much easier is that we found a doctor who, while administering vaccines to those who want them, also supports those who wish to abstain from vaccines and their potential harm.  After hearing horror stories of other pediatricians pushing vaccines and medicines on their patients or outright refusing to take on patients who won't vaccinate, we have found one who is the complete opposite.  She completely supports breast feeding and is not one to push solid foods on us as long as our son is content with his breast milk, which he is.  She also doesn't go the normal route of suggesting rice cereals or any cereals for that matter but rather bananas and avocados as a good starting point for solid foods.  We have too many friends whose doctors have started their children on solid foods before 5 months of age and in general, they have been started on the standard rice cereal.  Those babies are plump, chubby, and overweight in my mind whereas our son is slim and active.  For those who want to find a more natural pediatrician, our doctors name is Diana Lopusny.

But back to our son who weighed in at 15 pounds 10 ounces and is 25.8 inches tall.  He is described by all who meet him as a flirt and we are already being told that the girls should watch out for him later as he will most likely suck them all in.  Whoever he meets, he smirks and smiles at, and stares intently at them, studying them, taking them in, becoming a social butterfly at 5 months old.  Granted, he is still a baby and as most babies do, he charms everyone he meets.  He is still getting more and more active every week and is actually getting accustomed to taking his naps, an hour in the morning and a 2 hour mid day nap.  The mid day nap is the only one that he fights every so often, sometimes not napping at all and as a result, becoming fussy a little bit earlier than normal in the evening.  But he still sleeps through the night like a champ, the only sound emanating from his room being the occasional banging of his feet on the crib rails as he squirms around to find a more comfortable position, often times ending up on his belly for a good portion of the night.  His development thus far even amazed the doctor, most of all his flipping over from back to front and front to back as most babies don't figure that out till at least 6 months.  Well, he has been doing that for at least a month now and with each day his arm strength increases and he get closer and closer to crawling around.  The other amazement the doctor had was that he was getting as much solid sleep as he was through the night (11 hours).  We realize that we are blessed with this little early achievement as almost every person we talk to is amazed that he has been sleeping through the night since two months old, a sure sign of contentment. 

So we have a feeling that the next two months will be big in terms of his advancing development.  Our pediatrician said not to worry about feeding him solids till the next time we see her which will be in another two months.  She said we could try if we want, but it is not necessary as he is getting enough nutrition through his breast feeding.  Every time I see our son, I can't help but smile and be amazed at him.  Yes, I am his dad and as such have every right to be amazed and happy, but every day it seems to grow within me.  He has become such a part of our lives that I can't imagine life without him at this point.  He is just so precious I can't help but to give in to the desire to hold him.  Nothing else really matters except the time I spend with him, and of course my wife who always comes first.  But those days I get to spend alone with my son our priceless.  There is nothing better than laying on my belly with him on his belly next to me staring into each other's eyes, his searching and studying, mine just drinking him in and living in the moment with him.  A phone could ring and I just don't care.  The dogs could be barking outside and I leave them for a little longer, simply staying with my son as long as possible.  Nothing could have prepared me for the joy I have as a father.  While I relish every moment I have with our son now and don't push him to achieve more than he is capable of, there is still a part of me that can't wait to see how he grows and develops in the future.  But for now, everything is perfect and while I know things can turn on a dime at any point, I live in the moment right now and try my best to live up to my favorite short saying, "carpe diem" or "seize the day"!