A priest at the Church I attend reminds people regularly that life can turn on a dime. We never know what is around the next corner in our life and most times it seems we are ill prepared for what lies ahead, especially if things go south. While the priest, Fr. Tom, uses that phrase to emphasize the importance of getting our spiritual life in order, we never really consider how life can turn on a dime until it happens to us. Recently, I have been witness to two instances of lives turning on a dime. The first occurrence happened to my sixth grade teacher who was in her early to mid 60's with no real health problems. Right around Thanksgiving, she went in to the hospital for knee replacement surgery. After the surgery, she suffered from complications and passed away, a complete surprise for anyone who knew her. I had not been overly close to her, but saw her on occasion at my Church. Her life, and her family's turned on a dime. Nobody was prepared for what happened because no one expected her to pass away so soon. The second instance occurred yesterday morning. My first boss and good friend had pneumonia this fall. He continued to have some respiratory difficulties afterwards. Last week he felt horrible, staying out of work and just wanting to sleep. The culmination came yesterday morning when his brother drove him to the hospital to get taken care of and he as well passed away. He was only in his early 40's with a 14th month old daughter and wife. Looking at his age and health, he should have made it through the illness and gotten better, yet he didn't. His life and that of his family's turned on a dime.
The news of my friend's death caught me completely by surprise. Here was a man, in relatively good health, who perpetually helped others. It didn't matter what people needed, he could not find it within him to say no. He was always personable, friendly, and willing to go the extra mile to provide for his family. Yet in the end, no matter what kind of life we lead, we never know when our time, or that of our friends will come. It drives home the point of how precious our time on this earth really is. Many people, myself included, take for granted the time we have with friends or with our family. When you lose a friend, it makes you wonder what you might have done differently the last time you saw them. The last time I saw my friend, if I had known it would be my last, probably would have spent a little longer talking to him, seeing how his life was going, and probably just saying thank you. But I didn't, and I will never get that chance now. I myself try not to think about it, for the past is the past, and nothing I can do now will change anything. I can only look at my relationships with others and try to make sure they know what an important role they play in my life. Yet, despite what I say, I know that I might put it off, getting caught up in my own life. But I can only look forward and do my best to engage with others.
Life is hectic, often times leaving us at the end of the day wondering how we got there. It is unavoidable, the pressures put on us, the bombardment of information we incessantly get throughout the day, the expectations of others placed on us. Yet somehow, we need to find the time to step back and slow things down. We need to get our priorities straight and not get caught up in all the useless crap that drags on us. As it is, I know my friend has moved on and I can only hope that he is in a better place now and resting in peace. I also hope that his family finds the strength to cope with their loss and move forward remembering not his death, but rather the life he lived. For how else can we really remember someone. Death comes to everyone sooner or later and often times leaves us looking worse for the wear. We should look back instead, and remember all the good that a person did in their life, the impact that they had on others, and the relationships they fostered. Death it seems, is a reminder to the living that we will all reach the end of the road some day. For some of us, our roads will be shorter, for others, the road may seem endless. It doesn't matter where the road ends though, what matters is that we traveled our road well. I know my friend traveled his road well and only hope that his family looks back at his life with nothing but fond memories.
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