Tribute to My Mother

Today I pay tribute to my mother, one of the two most influential people in my early life (aside from my father).  Having a son now, it is much easier to see what my mother did for me when I was younger, the sacrifices she made, and the lengths that she went to to ensure that my childhood was the best that it could be.  Perhaps the most significant act that I am thankful for on her part is her quitting her job when I was really young so that she could stay home with me.  At the time she was making more than my dad was but decided that it was more important to be home with me than to keep me in daycare or camps.  Looking back now, I can not express how grateful I am for that sacrifice.  Aside from allowing me to explore the world unhindered, it also showed me in retrospect how unimportant money really is.  It was much more important for her to help me explore my creativity, to develop my knowledge of the world, and to have a family member close than it was to keep receiving a paycheck.  Granted, that was almost 30 years ago and times have changed, but even now, it is causing me to think even harder about how my wife and I can arrange our schedules so that one of us can be home with our son as much as possible in his early years of life.  Yet those early years of my life were only the start of what she did for me.  As I grew older, she was a pillar of support in everything I did. 

Regardless of what I wanted to do when I was younger, she supported me in my decisions.  The only caveat, which I am thankful for now, was that I see my decision through to the end.  There was one year I wanted to play baseball and halfway through the season, absolutely hated it and wanted to quit.  Quitting was not an option, though.  I had made a decision and had to see it through to the end, which I did.  Needless to say, I never played baseball again after that year, but every time I made a decision, I thought about it a little bit harder to make sure that it was really what I wanted to do.  (There were slip ups here and there as in my college career, but life goes on.)  Yet I now see the difference between her support in my younger years versus her support when I was a teenager.  When I was younger it was more important that I stick to my commitment and see it through to the end.  When I was older and more bull headed, it was more important to her to make sure that I thought through my decisions and what I would do.  Hence my decisions in my college career.  When I wanted to leave my first college because I wasn't happy, she supported me (much to my surprise at the time) and simply asked if I had really thought it through.  A few years later when I wanted to leave college all together to start my own business, she supported me, probably because I already had a contingency plan in place.  Despite most of her friends urging me to finish college and questioning my ability to run a business, she stuck behind me.  Again, I can not express how grateful I am for her continued support throughout my life.

I could go on with details about what my mother did for me and how she helped me grow into the man I am today, but I think I touched upon the most important aspects that I am thankful for.  I am sure that there are many things she did for me that I am totally unaware of and always will be.  But I guess that is the nature of being a parent; ensuring that you raise your child to the best of your ability even if they don't know what you do.  I see it more and more now with my own son, this whole period of his life where his consciousness is slowly developing and his memory of life at this age is vague at best.  Perhaps he will remember bits and pieces and perhaps not.  But it is not about what he remembers, it is how he grows up and develops.  If we do the best job we can, than that is all that matters.  I know my mother did the best job she could (and being a little conceited here) I think she did a pretty damn good job at it.  It is a funny thing growing up and not realizing what your parents did for you till later.  I guess some people never realize what their parents did for them, but I hope that most people do and at least make the effort to thank their parents.  As I have said before, I am not always the best at voicing my appreciation, but here it is.  So in summation, without my mother, I wouldn't have the foundation upon which I live today, the knowledge of the world, the appreciation for small things, or even my appreciation for family.  It may have taken a while to develop in me, but I realize now and am thankful for, everything my mother did for me.