Its Monday morning and time to continue the Monday morning tributes. For those of you who aren't familiar with what I am doing, I am dedicating my Monday morning posts as tributes to people who have impacted my life. I am doing this as a way of saying thank you and for recognizing them and their influence in my life. Today I focus on my dad. Every time I look back at my earlier life, from childhood on, I see more and more ways that my dad has influenced my development and helped me get to where I am today. Perhaps the most important aspect out of everything he did for me was to let me know he loved me. Whether or not it was spoken, I knew it and felt it throughout my life. It permeated everything he did with me; the times spent outdoors, the times he used to sing to me when I was little, the times he offered his help with anything I needed. Living in a family that was full of love has shown me the importance of a loving family as I embark on my own journey with my wife and 2 month old son. But love was just the basis out of which everything else originated. So what do I recognized now as his impact in my life. As with any family member, I could go on for pages and pages, but I will focus on what I feel are the most important things right now. Perhaps a little tangential, I feel the most important thing my dad did for me was to show me how to be my own person. This came not out of years of teaching, but out of a few moments in his life that I took and capitalized on. He may not even recognize this as important. The moment was when I found out that he went against his parents wishes and got a job working with computers instead of a career as a psychologist. It wasn't the actual work that did it, but the disobedience and the message that said, "I am going to do what I want and you can't stop me." Well, it turns out the apples doesn't fall far from the tree. I have consistently, throughout my life, followed my inner voice, not the voice of anyone else and for that, I thank my dad.
I also remember the times I used to work with my dad outdoors on the weekends. It was from this constant outdoor activity and work that I grew to love the outdoors and working with my hands. While my dad might not have been the best with construction techniques, he dove right into any project, much the way I do with anything now. It wasn't just the work, though, it was also simply being outside with him, raking leaves, walking in the woods behind our house, and discovering all the little nuances of nature together that really influenced me. It truly had an impact on how I live today, drawn more to the outdoors and work with my hands than anything else. It was also all the vacations we took. None of them were fancy, in fact, I can probably count on one hand the amount of times we actually stayed in a hotel. Rather, it was a campground, tents, fires, the great outdoors that made up the majority of vacations we took. Frankly, I wouldn't trade those times for any hotel or resort and their amenities. And today, I still love camping, sitting around a fire, or simply going for a hike in the woods to get away from it all. For all those times I thank him. But it went beyond that. Another very important aspect of my dad's influence in my life was his ability to find a balance between work and family. While on one hand he taught me by example how to dedicate oneself to work and do the best job possible, he also showed me that work was work and that family always trumped work. It was a rarity in society even when I was younger, but he did his best every day to get home in time so we could all sit down as a family for dinner.
It was this balance between work and family that is of greatest value to me now. Having a 2 month old son and trying to figure out the balance myself, I can see how difficult it must have been for him to do. The difference is, I work for myself and have a little more leeway when it comes to deciding whether to work or not. My dad always had a corporate job and as such, had many more demands placed upon him than I ever will. The only demands I feel are placed upon me are self inflicted demands. The corporate world seems to drive people to the edge, to do more and more and more; and for my dad to be able to resist that to a certain extent shows his inner resolve at making sure that his family came first. In a reverse sort of way, he also showed me why I should never get a corporate job. I saw his resolve at making family first, but I also saw that he didn't always love his job. I saw the corporate gears grinding people away from an early age and held on to that. Even today, unless it is absolutely necessary, I will never work in a corporate world. For that, I thank my dad tremendously (which is also why I am trying to get him to quit his job now because he hates it...hint, hint, hint). I am sure that as I grow older I will recognize other things my dad did for me that went unnoticed. That is the nature of life. We don't grasp everything at once, rather it is a slow realization of the impact our parents had on us. My dad was a role model for me and I only hope that I can be just as good of a role model for my son. Here's to you dad; thank you for everything you have done.
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